Okay, I'm really putting myself "out there" by posting this - hope you guys'll give a little help :)
The following might seem wrongly adressed because it was initially written to someone over e-mail who didn't answer - hope you guys can help me here, I need it I asure you :)
Well, here it goes:
I'm a danish student (17 years old), and I could certainly use a little advice. Just to get that out of the way, the poor spelling/wrong gramma is due to me not being fully educated yet, but I think you'll understand. I found the site with your mail by quencidence when searching for "never kissed" and "love" or something like that - to give you a little idea of my problem.
I'm currently attending a commercial school. I see myself as being rather intellegent and humorous, but as you know, that wont make all the doors open so to speak. The problem is that since I startet attending the school 1½ years ago I instantly took note of one girl who's in my german-class. I've always been shy, though it's got a bit better lately. However, it's been until now without me saying almost anything to her. I've just begun talking to her - due to a lucky quincedence (me being together with her and a couple of other girls in a project - a sign :-)?, and I think she can sense me being shy and withdrawing. I REALLY try to get out of my mental shelter and speak with her, and she does answer of course, but I think girls can sense a guys insecurity instantly. However, she DOES think I'm very funny - that I know of, and I've noticed probably her best friend speaking a little bit to me lately - sort of "trying" to get me to say something funny.... Well, I may be overinterpretating here, but that could mean that they're talking about me sometimes, couldn't it :)?
Also, I have a pretty nice body due to my workout-routines I guess, and actually - because I was talking to a former classmate of mine whom I've met again in the german-class about how I've gone from thin to pretty beefy - she mentioned that she also sees a big difference in me muscle-wise. That really made my day :) Just as that time when my friend sitting next to may said that he though she liked me because she stared at me all the time - I didn't notice it, but damn I was happy - however I can't believe it today, because I think I'm ugly and - especielly at that time when I almost hadn't talked to her - couldn't see how she could like me...
I'll describe myself as quite sensitive. I know that could sound as bull-crap, but I actually hate people talking shit about girls who they would just like to have sex with. Girls who doesn't appeal to me with anything else than their looks doesn't interrest me the slightest bit (other than being pretty to look at, of course), but I really think I have a serious crush on this one. I can't stop thinking about her when I'm alone... How I'd like to know her thoughts about me, do something to make her like me etc... It's a feeling I've had before, but not nearly this strong. Also, the "love at the first sight" thing could apply here, because I liked her from day-1 :)
Well, I can't hide that part of the reason I'm writing too you is because I just want to express myself and not sit with it myself all the time. I like talking about it :) I just wanted to know if you might have some advice - problem is, I've never kissed a girl (or anything else with one in case you're wondering...).. This is probably a result of me being extremely shy towards girls - especially before, where I was more of a loser not caring about the slightest bit about myself (Now it's mostly just towards the ones I think are pretty and I like) and also I really didn't care until I was kinda old for it. I've started making more out of myself and I think it helps, but the problem now, I guess, is that I'm scared of taking the "next step" - being the kissing and so on. I care little about sex, but I would DIE for a successfull relationsship with this girl, seriously. Another problem is my relationship to my parents. I can't see myself having a girlfriend, my parents are just plain iritating to me lately, and all though I love them, I couldn't help feeling uncomfortable bringing her around, I'm afraid.... If it'll go that way... I also have problems with my self-worth, I think, as I'm afraid this girl would definetly like my less shy and - in my mind - more attractive friends better than me... They're just much better with the girls.
I've just started communicating with her (really pushing myself to talk to her), and I want to make something out of this if it's possible (although it's getting harder again due to me not working with her in german anymore). I already REALLY HATE the idea that I wont be having classes with her after this year, and just to give you an idea of my kind of addiction towards her, I plan on taking some class with her - not because I like it, but because she's there. I can feel myself looking forward to such days and I always make more out of myself.
Damn I hate the fact that I can't seem to talk freely to the girl I like... I can talk much more freely to any girl I don't like though not entirely freely there either... I't shouldn't be that way...
I also notice how I really don't believe I will get anything going with this gril as I'm writing this... Well, I'll give it a shot anyway!
Hmm, That was a bit unstructiured and messy, but at least I got to express my feelings towards all this. I would like an answer very much, and in case that's going to happen I'm looking forward to hearing from you!
Yours sincerely
Jens, Denmark
