what does he want from me?

I met him about 8 weeks ago and we talk about everyday online and we even made out, but haven't went out a on date yet. We went biking couple days ago and that was fun, but I honestly can say that I don't know what he wants from me. He is pissing me off right now.

I asked him what type of food he likes to eat and he said he been eating japanese lately, but ate korean food with this girl that I also know. I got a little upset and just played along and said wait, is she this girl's friend? and he said yea. Then he suddenly said that he never took me out for dinner yet and he said that hmm does that look like a date if he takes me out to eat dinner. And I said iono you tell me and he said it would look datish esp if he takes me out. So I asked him is it a good thing or bad thing and he said i don't know. And he said it could be nice dinner together or bad to complicate things even further.

Today when we were in the car, he was talking to me about himself and it was great knowing that he is willing to share this secret with me that he doesn't want his other friend to know yet, but he's making me confused. he would kiss me but says he's confused and said we should just be friends. OK, but he still wants to hang out with me and kind of ask me out to dinner, but asked if i wanted to get dinner with him sometimes and I said sure. But he is confusing me and i don't know if he only wants my body or sorta likes me. When he looks at me, he stares for a bit and then looks away and looks at me and drops his head down and closes his eyes. He told me to stop looking so cute. I was like how can i stop looking cute? I don't even try to act cute. I really don't know if he likes me and I just told him w/e lol i'm going to bed because he's annoying me because I don't know what he wants and I just want to ignore him now... He seems like he's interested in me yet, I am lost at what he wants and it seems like he doesn't know what he wants.... =(

When his friend and I hung out he kept asking me if I was gonna watch movie with him and I said yea and he asked me on that day I was going to the movies again and asked if I had fun. When I finally saw him, he asked how was it and if I had fun again? When I told him his friend was gonna probably ask to go clubbing again and he was like don't give in like he doesn't want me to go clubbing with him...

lately he been giving me a goodbye kiss....

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Originally Posted by milkshake [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

i don't know if he only wants my body

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If he wanted only your body, he would never have said you should be just friends.

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He told me to stop looking so cute. I was like how can i stop looking cute?

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He didn't mean it literally. It's just a way to give a compliment.

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I am lost at what he wants and it seems like he doesn't know what he wants

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The "we should just be friends" part is confusing to me too. Otherwise he obviously seems to be very much into you and interested in more but is also very unsure about your interest.
Are you interested in dating him? If you are, perhaps you should talk about it with him.

I actually think he might have something going on with another girl, but he likes you as well, and that's why he says stuff like "going on a date with you would be confusing". I think he might be struggling with his conscience cause on one hand he knows he could get you both, but on the other hand he feels it would be wrong. Ask him if he's going out with another girl.

I think searock is right on the money. It sounds like he hasn't something going on already and is trying to string you along until either A) he ends things with the other girls and decides he wants to date you or B ) he convinces you that an affair is good.

I wouldn't consider this guy a romantic possibility at all at this point until he gets off the fence. Keep looking for other romantic possibilities. And maybe spend a little less time with this guy too, to try to keep your own emotions in check.

Good luck.

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If he wanted only your body, he would never have said you should be just friends.

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if all he wanted was your body and no relationship, then that is exactly what he would say. That is the line that many PUA's use to justify not committing while they have away with your body.

OP: Why don't you ask him why he thinks taking you out to dinner would complicate things. This guy plays mind games (probably unintentionally) so it would be a very good idea that if you do not understand what he is saying that you immediately ask him what he means. You will be here everyday asking us strangers, who couldn't possibly know what he actually means if you don't.

I really suggest you ask for clairfication from him on his ambiguity and quit playing coy with him.

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

if all he wanted was your body and no relationship, then that is exactly what he would say.

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Really? I thought it would work out better if there was sexual tension first and then you'd go about agreeing that relationship isn't what either is after.
Well, I suppose it's better for both parties to make it clear from the beginning that you're just going to be friends but I always imagined it would kill the sexual interest on the womans side.

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Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Really? I thought it would work out better if there was sexual tension first and then you'd go about agreeing that relationship isn't what either is after.
Well, I suppose it's better for both parties to make it clear from the beginning that you're just going to be friends but I always imagined it would kill the sexual interest on the womans side.

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...I think it would actually increase mine. It would be a "rational turn off" though, of course.

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Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

...I think it would actually increase mine.

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Wow, I never would have thought it would work like that :surprised This is such an eye opener. Maybe I should tell girls that I just want to be friends from now on :)

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Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wow, I never would have thought it would work like that :surprised This is such an eye opener. Maybe I should tell girls that I just want to be friends from now on :)

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LOL, it depends on whether the girl likes you already or not of course, I mean if a guy I'm not attracted to tells me "hey let's just be friends" it's not like I'm gonna be magically turned on XD... But yeah I mean if I like the guy, I'll only want him more if I think that he isn't into me and stuff. But that's just me (I don't want responsibilities :P)!

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Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

LOL, it depends on whether the girl likes you already or not of course, I mean if a guy I'm not attracted to tells me "hey let's just be friends" it's not like I'm gonna be magically turned on XD

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Well, obviously. But if there's no attraction, I don't lose anything by suggesting to be just friends.

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But yeah I mean if I like the guy, I'll only want him more if I think that he isn't into me and stuff.

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Yeah, I've read similar reactions by women on this forums on several threads before. It's so counter intuitive that a (some?) girls are more attracted to people who aren't into them. If I met a girl who was interested in me, I would go crazy about her :D

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Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, obviously. But if there's no attraction, I don't lose anything by suggesting to be just friends.

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True, but you would be lying anyway. Major turn off. Say it only if you mean it - or if you just want to get laid and forget about her afterwards, not if you're looking for a relationship!

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Yeah, I've read similar reactions by women on this forums on several threads before. It's so counter intuitive that a (some?) girls are more attracted to people who aren't into them. If I met a girl who was interested in me, I would go crazy about her :D

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Yeah, I've never quite understood that about guys actually. Funny XD.

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Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

True, but you would be lying anyway. Major turn off. Say it only if you mean it - or if you just want to get laid and forget about her afterwards, not if you're looking for a relationship!

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If I am interested in a relationship, I could never mean it if I said that I wanted to be just friends :D They are pretty much exclusive.
I've never been interested in one night stands but I've met a few girls that find me somewhat attractive even though they aren't interested in a relationship with me. A friends with benefits relationship with such girls would be very interesting to me and I suppose that I wouldn't lie at all if I said that it would be best for us to be just friends.

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Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If I am interested in a relationship, I could never mean it if I said that I wanted to be just friends :D They are pretty much exclusive.
I've never been interested in one night stands but I've met a few girls that find me somewhat attractive even though they aren't interested in a relationship with me. A friends with benefits relationship with such girls would be very interesting to me and I suppose that I wouldn't lie at all if I said that it would be best for us to be just friends.

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Hmm. I think that (for me) it only "works" if the phrase "let's just be friends" means that they are not interested - basically - in having sex (or anything of the sort) with me. If they mean it as in "let's just be friends with benefits", I don't think it would stir a reaction one way or the other (it would depend on the situation).

So, in short: You are attracted more to people who don't find you attractive.
Crazy, I tell ya'. :D

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Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So, in short: You are attracted more to people who don't find you attractive.
Crazy, I tell ya'. :D

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I know, and it does lead to more suffering than the other way around would (I wish it wasn't like this!). But I'm probably in the minority, even among girls (at least I hope so). And of course it's not like I don't like any of the guys who find me attractive, that would be even worse XD.

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Originally Posted by Yet another guy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well, obviously. But if there's no attraction, I don't lose anything by suggesting to be just friends.



Yeah, I've read similar reactions by women on this forums on several threads before. It's so counter intuitive that a (some?) girls are more attracted to people who aren't into them. If I met a girl who was interested in me, I would go crazy about her :D

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uhm, No, no you wouldn't if you didn't like her or find her attractive. You mean you'd settle for someone you don't even care for just because she's into you? How desperate... ;)

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

uhm, No, no you wouldn't if you didn't like her or find her attractive.

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Hmm, I didn't even consider that I might end up in such situation. I was kinda assuming that I liked her and found her attractive.

Frankly, I don't want to think about it. That the only person who has ever been interested in me was someone I didn't like. Then again, that would be just my luck. Thinking about this will bring my depression back again :(

For the sake of correctness: If I met a girl who was interested in me, I would go crazy about her. Assuming I like her in the first place ;)

On the other hand. So far I've liked everyone who have liked me so that is probably not something to worry about much. Must stay postitive... :)

I don't need to read your post to answer based on the title.

Are you hot? Yes/No

Yes - He wants sex.

No - He wants sex. But only if he can't get something better, like say one of your hot friends.

Throw away your magazines and your books. That's all there is to know about men.

I spoke to my friend and she thinks he's confusing as well.... hmm well when we made out he said we shouldn't be doing this stuff because we're just friends, but then I don't remember if he said "we're just friends right or we should just be friends" yesterday... I can't remember... He probably doesn't know what he wants.

I really like him, but he's really confusing and I don't know what he wants... he could be in another relationship but iono...

hmm.. I;m not sure if i am hot haha... but I am cute and lots of guys hit on me all the time... especially when I go clubbing...

He did say he was lucky. I told him that my friends and other guys have asked me out and hit on me... so he said that he was lucky that I'm hanging out with him or something like that..

I don't think he would convince me that affair is good... maybe i should ask him how many dates he been on. I know he had 2 girlfriends before...

hmmm... I made out with this one guy, and i worry about the same thing. I worry that I'm not good at making out like kissing, giving him Bjs, but they seem to like it alot..... He said I have a small mouth but he said I did good... and he tried to penetrate me but I covered myself and resisted and hit him a few times since he wants me to take control and stop him when he gets a little over his head, but he doesn't seem too offended and ignore me. I know if you do that to some guys, they will immediately ignore you because you're not giving them what they want which is sex, but he hasn't yet and he knows I'm a virgin too. He still wants to hang out with me and initiate taking me out for a date.

The guy I made out with never made me feel guilty or pressure me into having sex with him. Not once has he talk about how sexy I am, like I like you in this outfit, or not once has he said I was cute, or hope you're good in bed blah blah blah all these sexual things.. Most of the guys I been with keep calling me cute and sexy and blah blah blah... I get called cute a lot but this is the first time someone hasn't called me cute which that is probably not what he just thinks about. But he agrees that I am cute though because I told him that my friend kept calling me cute.

Maybe he's asexual?

umm no he's pretty horny like most guys, but I guess he didn't want to do anything I wouldn't want to do or make me feel uncomfortable. he told me the reason why we should just be friends because he didn't want to lose our friendship. He asked me We're still friends right? like the first time when we made out and I looked like I was uncomfortable about it, but mostly shy and embarrassed physically...

Why would you want to make out with someone that has said to you "lets just be friends?" If you still want to make out with him then don't expect that he'll be eclusive with you or make you his girlfriend. He is telling you he just wants to be your friend but he will let you blow him or whatever it is you kids do now to keep your virginity but still do everything else but penetrtation O.o

By telling you "lets just be friends" he's telling you that he's not interested in a gf/bf dynamic but he wll take whatever you give him.

Well maybe he has a reason why he said let's be friends... because we are still in the friend zone anyways and probably doesn't want to hurt our friendship. iono... he did tell me had 2 girlfriends in the past and maybe he was hurt? so he's not sure what to do? i don't know... I never been hurt before. I broke up with guys haha not that I want to hurt them but just that I had a emotionally abusive ex, and a guy that I couldn't trust... and a creeper.. lol

My point is: Don't expect to become his girlfriend just because you blow him. He will take the blow job but when a guy tells you after he's done stuff with you "lets just be friends" he's practically shouting out to you that he does not want to be your boyfriend but he will let you blow him. Capice?

@ wakeup, i know you told me not to expect to become his girlfriend and I understand. But I want to know where this relationship will take and I won't try to indulge myself too deep into this new relationship so it won't hurt me.

yeah i do agree when he asked if this a date, it sounded as if he didn't want to date me. He actually invited me to his house to watch a movie with him but I said what happened to dinner haha and he said oh yea haha, we can do that too. So i asked hiim what kind of food he wants and he said he doesn't know and asked is this a date and said it sounds like one. He was waiting for my response but he logged off since it was like 2 am in the morning. It's like as if he was shy that he thought this would be a date and just took off haha... Anyways it sounds like as if he wants to consider this as a date as opposed to with other girls? who knows... but only time will tell

You mean he just left the conversation?! That's rude, no matter what time it is and how "shy" he might be. Unless you kept him waiting for a response for like 20 minutes or something. Ask him (not us) what he wants from you.