Don't understand men.. need help please

So I met this guy..

I'm female, by the way.

I asked for his number. Something I have never done. This happened a few weeks ago. Three days later, I sent him a text message. I know I'm not supposed to do that - I've read "He's just not that into you" - but I figured, what the hell. He answered immediately and we have been texting back and forth every day since then.

We have met a total of three times. The last time we met, I asked him to kiss me. He did - after hesitating for a ridiculously embarassing amount of time. He's shy.

Later we slept together, with almost no cuddling or pillow talk. He kissed me goodbye the next day - on the cheek. (Note to guys - we hate that!)

Texting continued after that.

Then the unthinkable happened. I told him - via text message - that I liked him. Something I thought was completely obvious. And he abruptly stopped contacting me.

Why? Why? Why? Too much pressure? What the hell?

A very similar thing happened to my friend. What is it with men? Is it wrong to state the obvious, to talk about something that is right in front of everyone, just because it's a risk?

Or is he just not that into me?

hmm... from the sounds of it... I think he was only in it for the sex. Might want to call him up and get the facts straight if you really think he was interested in you.

I've come to the conclusion that women don't understand men. Men don't understand women. Its one big circle of confusion that can bite you in the Ass.

once again a fine example of a guy doing and saying anything to get laid.

Says the far more manipultive of the human race *rolls eyes*

Haha, im just messin misombra. That being said, both have their faults. Male or female, we are still human beings who have the ability to do the same things.

Anyhoo this guy does sound like he's in it for the sex, or just got scared away. But I would come down hard and find the truth, so you don't have to sit around waiting, or wondering "why?".

yeah, call him up and say wtf mf? why you stop talking to me?

but in so many words i'm sure he'd tell you that it was all about the sex.

and i'm not manipulative, i just only have so much faith in humanity. i know that women do it to blah blah blah, i don't discriminate.

But if it was just about the sex, then why keep text messaging me? Asking about my day? Telling me about his? Introducing me to his friends?

That guy is a bad ass.....anyways maybe he was into you until you gave him what he wanted. Then he was done with you...try not to give in so quickly next time

Misombra - doing anything for sex? The ****ing guy was scared to even kiss her? God your so stupid. Go be a sexist.

Aah, thanks Jimmy Hat :)
So next time, I'm playing hard to get.

... hate playing games though. Oh well.

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Originally Posted by Jellybelly

But if it was just about the sex, then why keep text messaging me? Asking about my day? Telling me about his? Introducing me to his friends?

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So that he can have sex with you again.

Like I said, its either for sex, or hes just a little nervous/scared. Don't assume either until your a little more sure.

Men don't understand women, women don't understand, and thats one thing they never understand!!! Move on...grab other fishes wherever....he might have been intimidated by u!!! U being bold and all!!

hmm.. yeah, that sounds about right. Him being so freakishly shy and all.

Besides, if it were just about the sex, he should know that a woman is much more likley to put out with someone she likes.. ;)

So he's missing out. If he were smart, he'd be in my bed right now! :)

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Originally Posted by Laguna

The ****ing guy was scared to even kiss her?

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thats called acting shy laguna. i think she made her self to easy/desperate and he is just not into having a relationship with someone like that. i am not saying she is easy/desperate but i think a lot of things she did just made her look like that.

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Originally Posted by Jellybelly

hmm.. yeah, that sounds about right. Him being so freakishly shy and all.

Besides, if it were just about the sex, he should know that a woman is much more likley to put out with someone she likes.. ;)

So he's missing out. If he were smart, he'd be in my bed right now! :)

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Hence the reason he keeps texting and asking how your day was. He's got to make sure that this attitude of yours stays that way so that when he's ready for some all he has to do is come-a-knockin' at your door.

I know what it is. If you would read the whole thread you would realize I was talking to misombra and wondering how she thinks it's just a guy looking for sex when he was even scared to kiss her.

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Originally Posted by Jellybelly

He kissed me goodbye the next day - on the cheek. (Note to guys - we hate that!)

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Ahem...see this is where you chicks start to become confusing, is when you begin to speak for every other chick with stuff like "we hate that" "girls love it when-" type stuff.

Some loser no doubt will take what you say to heart and think he knows somethin' about girls simply because he got it from a girl, which will in most cases lead him to disaster.

I'm sorry.. I guess I should have specified.

What I meant to say was, that we white, middle class, educated, christian/catholic/atheist girls from the ages of 18-25 who have spent a large portion of their lives and generally share values with those of a great many inhabitants of the western hemisphere generally hate it when guys kiss us on the cheek goodbye, after having slept with them.

Next time I'll be more specific.

am sure he would not have done that if he thought more of the whole situation.

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Originally Posted by Laguna

I know what it is. If you would read the whole thread you would realize I was talking to misombra and wondering how she thinks it's just a guy looking for sex when he was even scared to kiss her.

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i read every single post and understood perfectly what u were saying i was merely letting you know i agree with misombra that the guy was only after sex and just acting shy.

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Originally Posted by Laguna

Misombra - doing anything for sex? The ****ing guy was scared to even kiss her? God your so stupid. Go be a sexist.

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i didn't say he had to know how to do it. and like i said i don't discriminate. i think all people do weird and unpredictable shit. what is up your ass today?
are you premenstraul or what?

weeeeeeeeelllllllllll jelly belly
i think he was in it for the sex but later realised that he wasnt and that he liked u and that scared him. also u have to unnderstand that playing hard just isnt right. why be someone u r not. also it is better to talk rather than text coz then u can hear his voice and believe me, no matter how hard a guy tries, a tremor here and a tremor there will always give him away.

Hussain

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Originally Posted by Jellybelly

I'm sorry.. I guess I should have specified.

What I meant to say was, that we white, middle class, educated, christian/catholic/atheist girls from the ages of 18-25 who have spent a large portion of their lives and generally share values with those of a great many inhabitants of the western hemisphere generally hate it when guys kiss us on the cheek goodbye, after having slept with them.

Next time I'll be more specific.

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I sense sarcasm. Correct me if I'm wrong, without the use of sarcasm.

I was pointing out the irony that in being confused about the opposite sex you in the same post made a generalization of women, which in turn could give men a false view on women.

thanks mhussain, that's a comforting thought :) :)

I'm sorry about the sarcasm Frasbee. What I was trying to convey was that if everyone was so ridiculously impressionable as you implied, everything anyone said on the internet would have to be as exact as my explanation was. Plus, we'd all need our lawyers consent before posting a message, just to make sure noone could sue us. Sorry :)

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Originally Posted by Jellybelly

if everyone was so ridiculously impressionable as you implied

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The sad thing is, especially in these forums, when 12 and 14 year olds wander in asking for advice, they're very impressionable because they're very inexperienced. Hell even 30 year olds come in here askin' things like "when is a good time to kiss her?"

Allright, I get your point. Maybe someone should start a thread about what girls like and don't like guys to do. That way guys could get many different perspectives into the female brain and how we think. Better yet, we need a thread about the guy's points of view - I still need some help in that area.

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Originally Posted by Jellybelly

Allright, I get your point. Maybe someone should start a thread

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Feel free.

Situations like this are what really get me pissed at society. Here we have a nice girl who opens up to a guy she likes (not something you see everyday), and she gets taken advantage of by the idiot, and thinks she has to resort to playing games like everyone else. That's just sad. What mhussain said is right, just be yourself and you'll eventually find someone who can handle it. All the twisted games people end up playing as a result of getting burned... its just sad... and makes a complicated situation even more complicated for those of us who hate playing the games as well.

Hey i was going to comment on the hate the kissing on the cheek thing, because i dont think every girl hates that i think it depends on the situation, but you elaborated and explained yourself, so thats fair enough. I have to say tho i love it when my boyfriend kisses me on the cheek or forehead as i find it very intimate, as a change from on the lips or down the throat :) lol i guess were all different

As for the bloke, he just didnt knw what he wanted, maybe he just wanted sex, maybe he got freaked out cos u said you liked him, maybe hes incredibly shy, maybe hes just an *******, maybe he just realised he didnt like you, maybe his ex wife came back to him lol you will just never know, so forget him and move on, you know u can do better
much love xxxx