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For the few of you guys that have met me you know my situation..see link below
[url]http://www.loveforum.net/t6667-sayin-hi.html[/url]
Just wondering if any women here have had a simular experence and would like to share it. I'd like to find out what im getting into..lol
Well, I'm not a woman, but you're getting my opinion anyway! ;) As people get older, the age difference doesn't matter as much. A 30 yr old dating a 40 yr old, no biggie. But if one of the persons is under 25, there's a maturity issue. That would be the biggest worry for me in a relationship with a big age difference.
Im not trying to sound judgemental, but I'm 25 and there's not a chance I would ever date a 22 year old. They simply aren't mature enough. They don't even really mature until they are in their late 20's to 30's anyway, so if you are seeking a stable relationship, you are better off shopping in your own age group.
I have known a few guy friends of mine that had relationships with older women. They made it look to the woman like they were in a real, loving relationship, but really on the side they were coming back to their friends and going "Dude.....I got with the hot old chick again!" Not that you are old....but compared to a 22 yr old, you are. They treated them like gold, bought them stuff, took them out on group dates with their friends......and I always wondered 'How does this woman not see that she totally has nothing in common with this guy or his social circle?' We used to totally mock them behind their back. And of course, in the end, the guys always ended up dumping the 'older women' to date a younger girl that they had more in common with.
thats the thing...he doesnt go around flaunting are relationship. And he doesnt have the money to go out all the time. We have to much in common thats the point. No one is mocking me behind my back and if they did he wouldnt stand for it. I think your missing the point we have so much in common that is why his is with me in the first place!
...to each their own
Well I will only tell you this: My father is 25 YEARS OLDER than my mom..and they are one of the happiest marriages I have ever seen ;) and my father has been the funniest nice "young" father of all, just a little of my family history here, hope it helps
My mom has been very happy dating someone a good 15 years younger than her. After you grow up I dont think it matters at all.
When I was 21, I was having an affair with a 32 year old married women. We had lots in common, but she couldn't leave her hubby because of kids. She would cry most of the time when I had to leave. But, what I want to poiint out, I was being sencere to her and mature during our time together. I did want to be with her, but we couldn't. Age gap is not a problem, it's only a problem if the oldest person is really older and wants to have children. Situations occur and problems start to happen. I was never ashame to be around her in public too, I was proud because I was happy to know her and who she is.
Not missing the point. Just telling you what I've seen from experience. If you take nothing from it, that's fine.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dymondgirl
I agree. But 22 isn't grown up.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ratfish256
Thanks for calling me immature. I dis-agree by the way. I consider people who call others immature to be the ones who are the immature ones...but I am not the judge of what maturity is. Would you explain to me? From what I see and hear ..maturity is having a straight face and never laughing. The defintion of maturity is "not fully developed"....*looks at self*....nope...I am fully developed. I think that is stereo-typing.Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesummer
it doesnt , and it shouldnt matter.
my gf is 3 years elder to me and even though her family doesnt want ths to happen, they know that i love her more than my life. i dont mock her to my friends.
however it matter s to everybody except those in love
Hussain
nice lover boy...i really like what you said. I think that is very simular to my situation at this point. He has a very hard time dealing with the fact that my husband is still contacting me...but i have no choice. We are trying to sell the house and he makes so much more $$ than me instead of going to court I call him if I need it. He tells me it doen't bother him but I know it does. He also knows I want to have kids but he can't do that right now of course. But what you said about truely loving this older women... I believe he does but I want to ask you something...at that point in your life were you ready to truely commit to this older women if the other problems werent in the picture?
A younger man being with an older Woman gives him a chance to start practicing being mature, something He may be wanting to do, since it might be hard for him to be mature and still get respect around his buddies.
Edit spelling :horror:
So i could just be a practice run for him? I know it's hard for him to be mature and get respect from his buddies thats so true. I metioned to one of his guys friend how mature I thought we was for his age and the guy almost fell over laughing so hard...lol
People in general tend to act differently around their SO's then they do around their buddies.
age does not matter... it is trully the connection that does... it all depends on how you both are together... i believe that fate works in mysterious ways...
I'm not calling you immature.Quote:
Originally Posted by Only-virgins
All I'm trying to say is that in general, most 22 year old guys just don't have their life and their priorities or even their hormones in order yet. Try mentioning the word 'marriage' to a guy under 30....they run screaming like you threatened to kill them. Which is exactly why every single girl I know is either dating or married to an older guy. They have figured out what they want from their life. And also that there is more to life than partying and sex (with 'only virgins' at that!).
Ultimately, it's Dymondgirl's choice.....it will work or it won't. Not here to judge.
But if the shoe fits...Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesummer
Quote:
Originally Posted by bluesummer
your right about having his life and other priorities not in order yet, so true. We've talked about kids and other things and that is why I'm so into this guy. I guess I'll just enjoy the ride and see where it takes me...lol
Well ofcourse I would. Actually, we were on the verge of ditching everything and running away together. We were going to move to the east coast where rent is less expensive and get away from people we knew so we can live the life and start from brand new. She was going to live her kids with her hubby, but I thought she was obssesed and I told her to slow down. At last, we said good bye in good terms and until now, we still stay in touch. Funny, huh? I haven't visited her though, when we visit, it's usually hugs and kisses all over again. :surprisedQuote:
Originally Posted by Dymondgirl
maturity is the ability to accept with a straight face those things which u cannot change. it has nothing to with age.
Hussain
Ahhh pessimism, stop it! :horror:Quote:
Originally Posted by Dymondgirl
He has to practice sometime right? Who knows, if he perfects his practice, He may just be willing to reward those most patient with him. :)
I believe maturity is a state of mind. I've seen 25 yr olds who act like 45 yr olds and visa versa. When you go to the toy section and start idly playing with things here and there when you're a grown adult, are you still mature to the ones around you? Some say we have kids so that, through them, we may "relive" our youth (I believe it was Bill Cosby who brought that one up), does that make us mature or immature? (Don't try to deny it, we all do at one point or another)
Oh, and Dymondgirl. Don't let these people get you down, all things are fair in love and war, right? To each his/her own...
Dymondgirl----Women generally live longer than men. So in this way, he won't die before you, that's the good thing. Don't start flaming me, I mean it in all seriousness. Very often the guy will die first, leaving the woman on her own for the next 10 years.
Your age is just the number of years you have been on this planet. It does not reflect the life experience you have had...the individual person is what is important.
When I was 19, I went out with a 29 year old man, and we had a great relationship. I had a lot of things going on in my life growing up, and considered myself older than my years....I can honestly say the age thing wasn't an issue.
However, when I was 25...I went on one date with a 23 year old...and it was like dating a child... I had more in common with my 6 year old nephew.
It really is the person themself not their age that is important. If you and him are both truly happy, no-one is "using" anyone else. Then who is anyone else to judge. Be happy, life's too short.