ex video

hi all

me and my ex broke up a year ago when our baby just turned 1. sad i know.
we got back again a couple of months ago. i asked her from the beginning if she had met anybody in those 10 months (something which i personally would have a problem with). she said no, and she sounded honest. i asked her again a month later, she said no again and really convinced me this time with her words so i decided to not mention it ever again.
however...

she lent me her laptop to use. on using it later that day, i found 5 videos in the recycle bin labelled 'filth'. on checking them
it was an hour length sex of her with a guy she met 4 months after we broke up. every position you can imagine on this. i also found some pics of him in her mothers house helping to cook etc.
i phoned her and put her on the spot. she was speechless but ended up saying it was a fling she met through a friend a couple of times. she said she didnt tell me because she didnt want to hurt me.
i feel sick to the stomach finding this and angry through the roof, even though we werent an item at the time.
ive personally buried the relationship. i personally couldnt function a close relationship with her after this. this is my final decision, im sure not everyones.
to the people on this forum, how do u think you would feel had this happened to you and what would you have done. what do you feel about my situation.
thanks for your time
jp

The lying is not so great... But did you really expect her to go 10 months without sex? She was single, get the **** over it. You have no right to be angry, and I can understand why she didn't tell you if she knew you would over-react like that. If you didn't want her sleeping with other people, you shouldn't have broken up in the first place, you can't go hating her for it now. I think you're using it as a cover for another reason why you don't want to be with her now.

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asked her from the beginning if she had met anybody in those 10 months (something which i personally would have a problem with).

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I suspect she knows you well enough to know that telling you would be something that you couldn't handle... so she lied to spare the drama.

Tell us; Did you have sex with anyone after you broke up with her? If you did would you tell her the truth if you knew she'd "have a problem with it?"

How do I think I'd feel? If I loved the person enough to rekindle a broken up relationship then I'd want it to work and I wouldn't hold something they did when not with me against them. I'd be sure to make them understand though that taking video of sex sessions is not something that I'd want my partner doing as a hobby.

P.S. Quit snooping. That's something else I'd want my partner to understand that I'm not jiggy with. You sir, are your own worst enemy.

She didn't cheat on you because, you both decided to end the relationship. There was no promise to be faithful, and there was no promise to get back together. There was no telling what the future held after the breakup....no one really predicted that you would try again. In her mind all hope was lost and she felt she had to moved on. Some people feel helpless and lost after a breakup, are in a weakened state, and lose control of logical choices, falling into meaning less flings. What she did was no intention of hurting you, but an action from her hurting from the breakup or possibly just trying to get on with her life.

If there is an understanding of what she was going through, then there shouldn't be an issue with it, especially if you both were not together. She obviously didn't want to hurt you, and wanted to put it behind her, and work on fixing your relationship.

I feel whatever happened in those 10 months in none of anyone's business and especially not yours because well, she was free to do whatever, and you too as well.

The moral of the story is.....you should have stuck it out and got counseling to fix your relationship instead of resorting to a breakup.......your loss.

thanks for replying, you all make some valid points. no i didnt see any women in that time that we were seperated. to find a video of that, even though we were seperated, is just too much for me. i probably am my own worst enemy, but we're all sensitive to certain things.
huge thanks for your time.
jp

Dude, she had a one yr old, most likely didn't like the changes to her body; possibly felt completely undesirable. She had a fling, got some confidence back and now wants to make it work with the father of her baby. Either you want it to work or you don't. If you do want it to work, you would find a way to get over this. The fact that you seem to be full of righteous indignation says that you don't want this to work and this is an easy out.

Why were you looking in her recycle bin on the computer. It's one thing for her to lend you her computer, it's another for you to go through it. That's like spending the night at someones house and going through their drawers and cupboards. If you wouldn't do that, then there should be no reason why you couldn't just use the programs on the computer you needed to use and left the rest alone.

On the other hand, I don't know why she didn't empty the recycling bin before lending you her computer. Maybe she wanted to get caught...?

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Originally Posted by MaidenMinx [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

On the other hand, I don't know why she didn't empty the recycling bin before lending you her computer. Maybe she wanted to get caught...?

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Maybe she assumed that you wouldn't be so dishonest as to look through her stuff?

i wonder why people keep going back to exes

while they already know after their relationship that there is notting there no love no soulmate.

stop forcing things cause of habit or missing.


and its wrong she lie to you.
but i think its sick the one hour sex and filmed. she sounds like a whore to me.
why would you film how you have sex with a guy?

that movie can easily end on a website and her name would be more damaged.

and weird that she let you on her laptop knowing what she did.

i don't know she is disgusting.

Oh i see it was in the recycle bin.............. hmm..... why would you search true her stuff also?

she is a lair but you are wrong for searching even true her recycle bin.

so there is no trust.

Just out of interest, do you know what kind of laptop she has that can record 1hr sex sessions. My webcam only records for 20 minutes, then it shuts off. Or did she record it with a separate device?

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Originally Posted by jeejee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Just out of interest, do you know what kind of laptop she has that can record 1hr sex sessions. My webcam only records for 20 minutes, then it shuts off. Or did she record it with a separate device?

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I was hoping he'd post it on PornTube for us all to watch and judge just what a disgusting spectacle it was. I've got the kleenex ready and everything.

im being completely honest here. itd be stupid 4 me to lie to you as im asking for your advice.

i realised the film was recorded with a Vado (hers) and i suppose it was watched back on the laptop full view. if you delete a vid from the vado while connected to the laptop it must send it the recycle bin, which she didnt realise. unconnected to the laptop its an instant delete.

as for the laptop, i bought it for her years ago and we used it jointly most of the time. i found the video because i deleted some of my old stuff that i found on there and didnt need. on regretting deleting one, i went to the recycle bin to restore it and thus i found the 5 videos labelled filth. can ya blame me for being curious to that one?

sounds like im making this up, but it was completely unintended to check her stuff. the laptops literally crammed with pics and vids of us raising our child which i havent seen in ages!
its was just bad luck i found vids named filth. honest to god

she also has lied since. she told me it was just a fling (a couple of times) that happened in december. but the dates to the vids and pics are over the course of 2 months. plus theres the pic of him in her mothers kitchen helping cooking which doesnt look like a fling.
i can understand she doesnt want to hurt me with the total truth of it, but thats what i asked for from the beginning!

Pardon my ignorance, but whats a "vado"? You mean like a camcorder?

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i can understand she doesnt want to hurt me with the total truth of it, but thats what i asked for from the beginning!

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My guess is that it wasn't because she didn't want to hurt you, but because she didn't want you to freak the **** out like you obviously have done. Her trepidation was totally justified apparently.

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Originally Posted by diner [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

she also has lied since. she told me it was just a fling (a couple of times) that happened in december. but the dates to the vids and pics are over the course of 2 months. plus theres the pic of him in her mothers kitchen helping cooking which doesnt look like a fling.
i can understand she doesnt want to hurt me with the total truth of it, but thats what i asked for from the beginning!

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I'm thinking if this was you instead of her, you would think twice about revealing explicit details to her of what went on too.


Couples have gone through way worse than this and were able to go to counseling and work through it. I figure it would be worth it for the child's sake.

It's up to an individual how much shit their willing to swallow to get back together with someone. I wouldn't be one to ask about the past, but you did and expected an honest answer. She lied. Add to that the fact that a normal woman/mother wouldn't be filming themselves having sex with a fling.

What kind of woman do you want to share your life with?

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Originally Posted by haxan [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's up to an individual how much shit their willing to swallow to get back together with someone. I wouldn't be one to ask about the past, but you did and expected an honest answer. She lied. Add to that the fact that a normal woman/mother wouldn't be filming themselves having sex with a fling.

What kind of woman do you want to share your life with?

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Couples have been doing it for decades, it is a normal activity...it's different if she was posting it all over the internet for all to see but it was supposed to be private. Whatever happens behind bedroom doors is nobody's business. And IMO it was a fling to...fling being not a serious relationship because it didn't go anywhere.

You know all this not telling the truth stuff is a load of bull...you just can't handle the reality that she enjoyed sex with someone else.....that is all this is about.

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Couples have been doing it for decades, it is a normal activity...

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Should we poll how many women video tape their sex at all, let alone after dating someone a couple of months?

Normal is most people do it, smackie. Do you honestly believe most people video tape their sex?

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Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You know all this not telling the truth stuff is a load of bull...you just can't handle the reality that she enjoyed sex with someone else.....that is all this is about.

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Sorry, but if I ask someone I know intimately, friend or lover, a question, I expect the truth for an answer. If I find out they lie, the friendship is over. She could have said none of your business and he would have had to accept that. She answered and lied.

Ya I agree she should have said that, but it's obvious she took a chance to get the father of her child back....that's an immature way to handle it. But after reading this: "if she did see someone during those 10 months, I would have an issue with that", tells me he was too jealous, and possessive to begin with, that it made her feel trapped and controlled, hence the relationship ending in the first place.....so it wouldn't have mattered if she lied or not. She will meet someone she will be happier with and so will he......I think it's for the best.