Stealing another man's wife

haha i knew that this title would catch some eyes. alright here's the 411 on my little circle of deceite. i'll try to be as brief as possible.

there is a marriage couple and before the husband went away to iraq, they got married. now the lonely wife has been hanging out with my friend and i guess that they have gotten quite close. so last night my friend asks me if he thinks that it's wrong if feelings should start to develop. i'm already biased this my opinion and i feel that shit happens, and that it's only human nature that two people would naturally be attracted to one another.

there's more information, the tiny cracks in the wall that i will feed out later as the replys start to flow, but this is the basic gist of it.

i'm ready for the pros and cons that everyone will give me so be honest and let the shit hit the fan.

raverboy

Why get married if youre not willing to stick to the vows and be faithful to your partner? If she really wants to see someone else, she should at least have the courage and decency to seperate from her husband first.

Yeah, honestly...she should of thought about it more if she couldn't handle it. That's not being very faithful if you ask me.

Could you wonder how a guy comes from a place like iraq, and the poor guy comes home to his women being with somebody else. That would crush me in so many ways.

Seems like there's been a lot of this going around lately... Well, I guess you can't really "steal" another person, can you, unless they want to be stolen...

Life is short. Take your chances & make your choices for happiness, but don't whine about it later...

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Originally Posted by Innova

Could you wonder how a guy comes from a place like iraq, and the poor guy comes home to his women being with somebody else. That would crush me in so many ways.

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Yea, that would be pretty painfull.

Illusional----If two people love each other and are married, how could one partner look at an outsider with interest? I am so idealistic. More and more, my idealism is being crushed underfoot by these stories of infidelity. Impending in this case. Blleeewwhhhhh.

So I get closer to thinking that love is... even harder to define...

Everybody wants different things.

Ahh, if only we can see the future before we make a choice.

You're right, there's nothing they can do about the feelings that develop. That's human nature. One thing that separates us from dogs is the ability to reason. Everyone is tempted at times, that's life. It's how we handle temptation that defines what kind of people we are. If your buddy's thinking about getting it on with her, he'll regret it in more ways than one. If neither of them have any morals, then I say go for it and deal with the consequences. But, the consequences will be more than just dealing with her husband when he gets back. I could tell you many things that could and probably will come back on them, but I too have been stupid...and I paid for it. They will too.

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Originally Posted by artyemi

Ahh, if only we can see the future before we make a choice.

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How boring would life be if that were true

Sooooo boring.... the best part of not knowing is spending all that time weighing all the different choices you're going to make, and letting your mind create all these different possible endings...

saddle, my friend has already thought about the outcome. he knows that getting witht his girl is wrong, which is why he's hesitant. he has nothing against the guy and they both are cool with one another. this puts strain on the relationship.

as for the girl, i think that being lonely is finally getting to her. i believe that she works in a small office and doesn't really get out that often. this is probably the reason why she calls my friend so often and cruzed.

but as i told him, you only live once so why not try it. it kinda reminds me of the movie, "pearl harbor"

raverboy

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Originally Posted by Illusional

saddle, my friend has already thought about the outcome. he knows that getting witht his girl is wrong, which is why he's hesitant. he has nothing against the guy and they both are cool with one another. this puts strain on the relationship.

as for the girl, i think that being lonely is finally getting to her. i believe that she works in a small office and doesn't really get out that often. this is probably the reason why she calls my friend so often and cruzed.

but as i told him, you only live once so why not try it. it kinda reminds me of the movie, "pearl harbor"

raverboy

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You never know...it could work out for them. When I was young, I thought love and marriage, etc..was supposed to work according to plan. But, as we all know, life does not always go according to plan. As other people have commented above, that would be pretty boring. The best we can do is deal with situations as they present themselves the best we can. Sometimes we have to follow our hearts instead of our heads. Kinds brings to mind a quote I heard years ago: "If we never make waves, how will anyone know we around"

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Originally Posted by Backinthesaddle

You never know...it could work out for them. When I was young, I thought love and marriage, etc..was supposed to work according to plan. .... The best we can do is deal with situations as they present themselves the best we can. Sometimes we have to follow our hearts instead of our heads.

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What you are saying makes sense in theory, it COULD work out. But the chances are HUGELY against this so long as there is deceit involved. They are NOT doing the best they can, IMO, in this regard. If they really want to be together then they need to be honest with each other, decide on a course of action, and then let the spouse know. I strongly believe that for ANY relationship to be successful requires absolute honesty. But maybe some of you disagree... ?

Sounds to me like they are both bored/lonely and not really interested in a long-term relationship w/each other. I think they should just leave each other alone in this case. Not worth it.

or maybe after her little fling with your friend, she'll discover that there was nothing there for her, and realize that her heart really belongs with her boyfriend.

or maybe it will work out, and they end up being together and completely meant to be...

the boyfriend will be hurt, but, as they say, all is fair in love and war..

what is good for one person isn't always good for the other.

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Originally Posted by indigosoul

What you are saying makes sense in theory, it COULD work out. But the chances are HUGELY against this so long as there is deceit involved. They are NOT doing the best they can, IMO, in this regard. If they really want to be together then they need to be honest with each other, decide on a course of action, and then let the spouse know. I strongly believe that for ANY relationship to be successful requires absolute honesty. But maybe some of you disagree... ?

Sounds to me like they are both bored/lonely and not really interested in a long-term relationship w/each other. I think they should just leave each other alone in this case. Not worth it.

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I agree! Also, Illusional indicated that the two guys know each other. I'm wondering if they are friends. One thing that I have found to be true is that lovers come and go, but real friendship endures. I would never jeapordize a friendship for a roll in the hay. But, they may not be good friends, in which case I'm barking up the wrong tree.

One statement that I have do disagree with is that a successful relationship requires absolute honesty. Is anyone absolutely honest with their mate...about everything? Sometimes little white lies are necessary and appropriate, bad as it sounds. That's reality. But yes, for the most part, a relationship needs honesty or it will be doomed to fail.

Illusional, what are the other things that you say will come out later?

saddle.. actually they are more along the lines of aquaintences. he met the bf because he knew his wife...

anyhow, i talked to him last night and he doesn't really wanna deal with all the dramas that probably will follow. he's gonna tell her that he doesn't wanna see her for a while.

raverboy

that's cool. she would have probably dumped him and her husband would have kicked his ass if he didn't break it off with her.

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Originally Posted by Backinthesaddle

One statement that I have do disagree with is that a successful relationship requires absolute honesty. Is anyone absolutely honest with their mate...about everything? Sometimes little white lies are necessary and appropriate, bad as it sounds. That's reality. But yes, for the most part, a relationship needs honesty or it will be doomed to fail.

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yeah, i wasn't completely straight on this one. i guess i mean that in a good relationship, one should BE ABLE to be completely honest if required. but sometimes one chooses not to be (in the case of white lies) if it will needlessly hurt the other person. there should always be a positive reason for the total honesty. some ppl are TOO honest & hurts others as a result. finesse required.

but issues surrounding infidelity are NOT white lies, ever.