HELP! is he scared of love?

i dont know what his problem is..but either way,let me introduce myself and him first. im 23, he is 26..we have known each other for about a year, because we work together in a store.ive started working here a year ago, but hes been working here for like ever, for almost 5 yrs. anyway,we see each other almost every single day. the thing is,i didnt even think about him as a friend,we didnt even say hi to eachother at first.there was absolutely nothing in between us.But,he was fun,his friends (such nice ppl), our boss just love him, he has such a big heart.So basicly i fell in love wth him so bad,he just became the exact kind of a guy ive actually been dreaming of all my life. he has turned in to an obsession for me (because he wouldnt see me,would make me go crazy) finally,i told one of my friends about him,and my friend couldnt wait and he went up to him,asked him about me to see how he feels. (by the way,he hasnt been in a relationship for 3yrs,ppl say that he likes his home,beer,games,and baseball..they say he is scared of love) come on now, he is a well grown 25yrs old.he is the smartest human being ive ever seen,he is the best at work,people just Love him,he is a very cute-shy-looking guy also,but all he does is drinking beer! well, im fine with it. because i know that ALL He Needs is someone;LOVE! he will change!!definitely. anyways my friend told me to forget him, 'cause he wasnt really interested in me. and i did,i did forget about him, i went on with my life. Suddenly,everything had changed amazingly. He really had changed.I could sense that he had feelings for me. He had started saying hi to me,asking how i feel,asking me about my hobbies,making me laugh,playing games with me, smiling and staring at me,helping me out with the things, touching my back softly,following me around,being such a nice and gentleman..everything a guy does to a girl theyr interested in when flirting (but at work) and you cant imagine how Happy I get, when he is around, i get very nervous like a 14yr old kid. he gets nervous too!!!he really got me bad!! he has been like this for about a full two months now, and still continues ...every night when he gets off work, i wish for him to ask me out something...but,noooo..no no no..there is still no sign of anything. nothing is happening! is he scared to love? does he just want to play with me?if so, is he having fun? but how could he? because he is not that kind of a guy could do that. i cant even think about this anymore. because im totally and utterly lost in this. any ideas about what this guy would want from me? what his problem would be? someone! any idea.?
should i just stop going crazy about him? or should JUST WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN SOMETIME? :(

If a guy wants to date you... he'll date you. This guys doesnt seem to be the shy type... so thats not relevant... he doesnt want ya hun.

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Originally Posted by NoSignOfIT

i dont know what his problem is..but either way,let me introduce myself and him first. im 23, he is 26..we have known each other for about a year, because we work together in a store.ive started working here a year ago, but hes been working here for like ever, for almost 5 yrs. anyway,we see each other almost every single day. the thing is,i didnt even think about him as a friend,we didnt even say hi to eachother at first.there was absolutely nothing in between us.But,he was fun,his friends (such nice ppl), our boss just love him, he has such a big heart.So basicly i fell in love wth him so bad,he just became the exact kind of a guy ive actually been dreaming of all my life. he has turned in to an obsession for me (because he wouldnt see me,would make me go crazy) finally,i told one of my friends about him,and my friend couldnt wait and he went up to him,asked him about me to see how he feels. (by the way,he hasnt been in a relationship for 3yrs,ppl say that he likes his home,beer,games,and baseball..they say he is scared of love) come on now, he is a well grown 25yrs old.he is the smartest human being ive ever seen,he is the best at work,people just Love him,he is a very cute-shy-looking guy also,but all he does is drinking beer! well, im fine with it. because i know that ALL He Needs is someone;LOVE! he will change!!definitely. anyways my friend told me to forget him, 'cause he wasnt really interested in me. and i did,i did forget about him, i went on with my life. Suddenly,everything had changed amazingly. He really had changed.I could sense that he had feelings for me. He had started saying hi to me,asking how i feel,asking me about my hobbies,making me laugh,playing games with me, smiling and staring at me,helping me out with the things, touching my back softly,following me around,being such a nice and gentleman..everything a guy does to a girl theyr interested in when flirting (but at work) and you cant imagine how Happy I get, when he is around, i get very nervous like a 14yr old kid. he gets nervous too!!!he really got me bad!! he has been like this for about a full two months now, and still continues ...every night when he gets off work, i wish for him to ask me out something...but,noooo..no no no..there is still no sign of anything. nothing is happening! is he scared to love? does he just want to play with me?if so, is he having fun? but how could he? because he is not that kind of a guy could do that. i cant even think about this anymore. because im totally and utterly lost in this. any ideas about what this guy would want from me? what his problem would be? someone! any idea.?
should i just stop going crazy about him? or should JUST WAIT FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN SOMETIME? :(

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When he touches you, what do you do to him? You ask what his problem is.....babe ya gotta turn the page a little to see that it's YOU that should be doing something ;)

On a side note, I hope from your perspective you don't expect him to stop drinking beer for you....You should want the bad with the good...Can you handle someone that drinks beer?

Oh yeah, I'm anxious to hear what he said when your friend asked him how he felt?

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Originally Posted by LightOn

When he touches you, what do you do to him? You ask what his problem is.....babe ya gotta turn the page a little to see that it's YOU that should be doing something ;)

On a side note, I hope from your perspective you don't expect him to stop drinking beer for you....You should want the bad with the good...Can you handle someone that drinks beer?

Oh yeah, I'm anxious to hear what he said when your friend asked him how he felt?

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Once my friend told me to forget him, i was a little dissappointed,but i stopped thinking about him.it was over. but after then all of a sudden everything has changed as i said earlier. I treat him very nice now,because of his interest, i fall more for him everyday and i try hard for him to see it (because im shy),he must be stupid not to see it. He enjoys a lot me being so sweet to him,and he seems to be more interested in me than i am to him. I don't even care if he drinks or not. What i meant by 'he will change' is that he has never had a relationship wth someone for like 3 years. and his last relationship had lasted only a month or so.obviously he is not a typical date guy, he is a little different than other guys. i think that's what i really liked about him. well i am very surprised about his sudden interest for me.Because he doesnt care about any of his co-workers but me lately. im talking about a serious interest here. ex: the other day i had a terrible headache,after asking me what the matter was, he must have felt bad about me or something, he went out and got me a pack of tylenol. as he was giving that to me,and telling me that would make me much better, i thought i was going to pass out in front of him, even forgot about my headache.i was that surprised! i find it very sweet. isnt that something you should be like, "hey,whats going on here?" but he would not do anything for it. i dont know may be he wants to be friends first, it is kind of confusing though. well, i hope that im just being impatient ...

hi there

first of all a simple request .. some paragraphs make reading a bit more easy ,....

look if he likes u , he will indicate it ...ok

from the first post ... it doesnt seem that he is shy

sorry for that .....

if u can wait (which i do not recommend) but if u feel that u can ....


and please dont ever expect someone to change for u ..... by all means try and rid him of his beer drinking obsession if u get together .... but dont expect him to do so ... he wont , until and unless he wants to

Hussain

as i said,i do NOT care if he drinks too much or not. (why would that bother me anyway)
either way is just fine with me. thats not the point.

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Originally Posted by mhussain

first of all a simple request .. some paragraphs make reading a bit more easy

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Oi Oi to that.

Well, you could always suggest going out for lunch or try to find a way to spend more time with him. He seems to have changed alot though. Maybe he likes you after all. I'm not sure.

Sometimes the best option is to just tell him that you like him. I know you might be shy, but your going to have to make the decision on whether you want to stay with his flirty-ness or get an actual answer.

Instead of waiting for him to ask you out when you get off from work, ask him if he wants to go have a drink together... After all he's showing the signs of liking you, so the chance of him saying no is very small...

Wow the thing that suprises me the most is that she doesnt care if he drinks or not. Hunny let me tell you something, the lower your standards get, the less youll get in a man. If youre ok with a man who will eventually become an alcoholic (if he isnt already) then you should be ok with a lot of things...
You dont need to be ok with a person who drinks regularly...

Thanks for your thoughts alovelylady86..
Well,of course i would definitely have to care if a man im going to marry became an alcoholic. I wouldnt like it.

What kind of a girl likes a man who drinks ''a lot'' every single day anyway?!

but now that i dont care, because he is not my man.

foolinlove and fawn... thank you for your ideas...youre right, im the only one takes no action, but wait. i think im going to have to try asking him to go out and do something together,as im getting more impatient everyday!

but im not really sure what to ask. He likes baseball and stuff..may be a game? any different clues?

Ok so hes not your man right now but isnt that irrelevant because this entire post is about how you want to make him your man? Come on... So youll worry about that when he is your man. Youll try to get him to quit right? Good luck with that... :)

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Originally Posted by ALovelyLady86

Ok so hes not your man right now but isnt that irrelevant because this entire post is about how you want to make him your man? Come on... So youll worry about that when he is your man. Youll try to get him to quit right? Good luck with that... :)

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hahaha :D i knooooow it's pretty relevant,you know why? just because love makes me blind,rite now i cant see(care) the bad sides of him.
yup! i guess if he becomes my man, im going to worry! what can you do! right? life sucks..

*Update*

YEEEEEEEEES! we went out yesterday! he finally asked me out!!! i had such a great time with him. thank u all for ur help!
good luck!

Congrats :D

Once again.

I'll take the credit for the success of her date.

NoSignOfIT----Jolly good you scored a date. The next date will follow and the next. Once you're deep into it, the subject of drinking will crop up again. It'll start to bother you, and you will get on his case. Than he'll get irritated, and tell you to stop reminding him. Than you'll become the girlfriend who has to take her man home when he's sloshed, take off his socks and shoes, and put a bucket next to his bed for him to throw up into.

What a bleak scenerio eh? Point is, if the drinking bothers you now, and it must...'cause you posted it, than you have to know right now that you cannot change a guy. He comes with all the stripes and spots.

This sounds a lot like a situation I was in. I had just started working at a resturant and he had worked there since they opened. I was OBSESSSSSED with him, and I never thought I had a chance, there was an instant connection, but I thought he was just a player. I waited and I waited, and he finally asked me out. We been together for 7 months now. So maybe that will make you happy...:-D

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Originally Posted by Fyesteema4

This sounds a lot like a situation I was in. I had just started working at a resturant and he had worked there since they opened. I was OBSESSSSSED with him, and I never thought I had a chance, there was an instant connection, but I thought he was just a player. I waited and I waited, and he finally asked me out. We been together for 7 months now. So maybe that will make you happy...:-D

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heey girrrl good for you!!! 7 months :) im so really happy with him. it has almost been like 3 days now. he is just a sweetheart! he tells me how much he has been loving me,he cares about me a lot, and he seems to be a keeper! im feeling so lucky. i just want to say to everyone here who are hopeless about them, dont be hopeless! there must be some reason for them to keep what they have in their hearts for a while, they have to fight it first just to come up to us and ask us out. its not simple for them either i believe!
;) just be yourself... thats all about it