Suicidal Ex

I havent posted here for awhile due to a chaotic life but last night something happened which gave me a reason to return...

I had been seeing my girlfriend only for 6 months but it got pretty serious in that time. We're both depressed and it's long distance though, so after awhile it was all just getting on top of us and we'd been arguing a lot lately.

Last night I broke up with her. Since it's long distance I couldnt do it in person which I feel really shi.t about. Anyway, I woke up this morning to find all these texts on my phone that she sent around 2am, describing the arrangements she wanted for after she died.

She tried to kill herself but she wont tell me how or what happened or why it didnt work. She's a complete mess now. She still wants to die and I'm scared she'll keep trying til it works. She wont talk to me properly yet. I cant get back together with her, too much damage has been done, and it'd be the wrong reasons. But I just cant walk away until I know she'll be ok. How the hell do I deal with this situation?

does she live alone?

How do you spell M-A-N-I-P-U-L-A-T-I-O-N?

I would ignore her (unless you are a drama-addict). If she actually DOES do herself in, (highly unlikely) that is her choice. You really aren't responsible. Try to detach yorself emotionally from this situation and be objective about it. People like this are major energy drains. Avoid like the plague.

Hi, Misombra!

She's living with her parents right now.

I suspect from something she said this morning that they found her in a bit of a state today so they do know, but I cant be sure.

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Originally Posted by shh!

How do you spell M-A-N-I-P-U-L-A-T-I-O-N?

I would ignore her (unless you are a drama-addict). If she actually DOES do herself in, (highly unlikely) that is her choice. You really aren't responsible. Try to detach yorself emotionally from this situation and be objective about it. People like this are major energy drains. Avoid like the plague.

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How can I possibly ignore her??!!! I still love her and I cannot turn my back on somebody when they need help whether I'm responsible or not.

I know it seems harsh, but I've been in your shoes, and this is "survival of the fittest" mode. Perhaps you are not quite ready to make the break, yet. Believe me, when she's sucked enough life from you, you will ABSOLUTELY follow my advice. Also, you will be more able to recognize these sorts of personality types right away so you can avoid them altogether. Good luck; you will need it.

Oh, yeah. I forgot to say that not everyone WANTS help or is willing to take it. That is why you need to worry more about yourself.

Kristy,
Long time.
Well IMO she needs help fpr her depression. I feel that if you continue to speak to her maybe it may make her worse off, you know maybe sadder and she may try another attempt. Its hard to let go letting go especially when someone is so unstable is not a good feeling. I feel that she definatley needs to speak to a profesional to help her wrk thru her feeling of desperation and depression. When she can get it all together hopefully someitme soon then maybe you guys can sit and talk. This is a verry sticky situation. If she wanted to really make an attempt on her life she would be dead. This is a cry for help, dont turn your back but be stong enough to let someone know that she needs help and bad, u cannot be her crutch.

I can understand that. If somebody else was posting, I would probably reply with your advice. But the fact is this isnt a situation I can look at as an outsider and decide whether or not I want to get involved. I am already involved so now I have to deal with that.

EDIT: this is in reply to shh

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Originally Posted by blue

Kristy,
Long time.
Well IMO she needs help fpr her depression. I feel that if you continue to speak to her maybe it may make her worse off, you know maybe sadder and she may try another attempt. Its hard to let go letting go especially when someone is so unstable is not a good feeling. I feel that she definatley needs to speak to a profesional to help her wrk thru her feeling of desperation and depression. When she can get it all together hopefully someitme soon then maybe you guys can sit and talk. This is a verry sticky situation. If she wanted to really make an attempt on her life she would be dead. This is a cry for help, dont turn your back but be stong enough to let someone know that she needs help and bad, u cannot be her crutch.

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Yeahhh thats true. I think to move on properly, she would need a complete break from me anyway... I just dont want to leave her when she needs support, you know. Maybe considering we just broke up that support shouldnt be coming from me but there isnt anybody else. I can encourage her to get help - and hopefully her family will too - though whether or not she listens to me is another story.

how did she try? from what i've seen if a person is intent on suicide, there is no try, there is do and do not.

oh, hi shh! wassup girl!

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Originally Posted by KirstyM

Yeahhh thats true. I think to move on properly, she would need a complete break from me anyway... I just dont want to leave her when she needs support, you know. Maybe considering we just broke up that support shouldnt be coming from me but there isnt anybody else. I can encourage her to get help - and hopefully her family will too - though whether or not she listens to me is another story.

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Encouragement is alot, and at this point its everything and all i feel that its all you can do in a situation like this. Offer your ear your support and encouragment but be stong and let her and her family know that she needs help. Kinda like an intervention maybe. Sometimes when we are in the fog and there are emotions running crazy we forget that there is light at the end of the tunnel, which is usually the case when depression gets bad. You have done what you can. Guilt never helps any one ever. Take care. Xoxoxo blue

She is not going to kill her-self. She just wants pity and attention. Suicidal people lose their complete will to live. They make a decision(usually never talk about it) and then finalize it. If there is one single tiny thought that suicide is not the way then it never happens. I was suicidal but unfortunatly while the idea of escaping everything was nice ..the idea of ending my mind and thoughts(that I happen to like) was bothersome.

when my friends brother commit suicide, he started giving his things away and telling everybody how much he loved them. my friend got a bunch of his things in a box in the mail the day he did it. he didn't blatantly warn anybody. i agree with ov. people who do it, do it and don't threaten people with it or try to guilt people with it.

Hmm yeah. Ive been suicidal, and I never told anyone about it until a long time afterwards. Deep down she doesnt want to die, I think she just sees it as a way to end it, but when it comes to the crunch she cant. Maybe it is attention seeking towards me, I dont know. She's wanted to kill herself before for years but never told anyone until I told her about my attempts, and eventually she shared hers too.

She says she took a whole load of pills - though I dont know what - and cut herself before the pills knocked her out... but she still wont talk to me properly, and it took all day to get that much out of her so I dont know.

I guess Im just waiting for her now, to talk to me when shes ready, or whatever. She knows I'm here.

Fu.ck, this is exhausting.

One of my best friends attempted suicide over getting dumped. He obviously failed... it bred a healthy respect for human life in him. Sometimes he says it might have been better for everyone if he had succeeded, but he still is glad he didn't. I don't know... it's kinda like if your parent is an alcoholic, you tend to either become one yourself, or completely go against that sort of thing. My friend is completely against any sort of taking of human life. But he also has a strict no-interference policy with others... lol. Honestly though, if she ends up killing herself, it isn't your fault. Just try to forget about it for now; she probably won't kill herself anyway.