please can i have advice. Answers from men and women please
Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years, its had its ups and downs but we got through it. he used to emtionally abuse me on day to day basis and physically abused me once. he put me down so much that i tried commiting suicde, now im ok, and i have worked hard to get out of my depression. I am now back to my old bubbly self, im just scared he will go back doing the same again, when ive worked so hard to pull me self together.
We broke up on september 2012 and went back out with each other in january 2013. he seems to have changed, its like he has grown up a little. we both had been seing soemone else in our break. He says thats how he realised he had been treating me so badly, and realised what he had and couldnt live without me. so he broke it off with this other girl and kept fightinging for me. Eventually i broke it off with this other guy, because i felt like throwing away 3 years would be selfish.
well anyway now that im back with my partner, im really confused, it seems like he is slowly going back to his old ways. and i might have missed out on a chance with a lovely guy.
my partner used to give me all these rules, how i wasnt aloud to go on a girls holiday, and he wouldnt go on a lads holiday either, how i wasnt aloud to stay in other towns without him, and he wouldn't either, and i wasnt aloud to work in a bar, the list goes on.
but suddenly when an oppertunity comes for him, he changes his OWN rules. every time one of his mates asks him to do one of these things, hes aloud to do it..and suddenly i am too. But i already turned down the oppertunity, I missed out on 2 girls holiday and now they are all engaged with children, now he has decided that he can go (knowing my friends are too busy). Im not a childish person, I just feel quite hurt how manipulating this guy can be, but talking does no good, he just keeps saying "well break up with me then". why is he so easy to let go, when he fought so hard to get me back? i don't understand!
The truth is i dont trust him to go abroad with the guys yet, because trust is gained, and hes broken it in the last 3 year by emailing about different girls constantly, And the emails were not innocent. Those were the emails i found, if he can say the things hes said, then what makes him faithfull on a night out.
He keeps saying i shouldnt be with him if i don't trust him, which is TRUE, but when he was trying to get me back while i was seing the other guy, i explained all of this, and he said he had no desire to go away with his friend as he wanted to spend this year trying to gain my trust back..so why has all of this changed?
I have been so faithfull, caring and loving to him, so why am i the only one putting %100 in.
If he couldn't be bothered to gain my trust back and be patient, then he should have told me he could, and promised me so many things, he should have left me alone with this other guy, so i can move on. Am i in the wrong here?
Im trying my best to make him feel loved, buy him things he adores, constantly tell him how much i care and love him ..he some how always makes it into a war by nit picking on every little thing, he brings up the guy i was seing all the time and makes me feel bad about it, when he did the same, i only tried to move on when i found out he was doing the same.
I have now had a job offer abroad and i really want to take it, its for 5 to 6 months away, and i could really do with a break. but hes constantly arguing with me, saying how he will break up with me or i will cheat on him, but i keep reasuring him. i just feel like if he had this oppertunity to work abroad it would be ok for him to go away and it would suddenly be fine for me to do this, but as he hasn't had the offer, im not alloud to take it.
he is 23 and i am 21. please can i have advice. not really sure what im looking for, just a little guidance i guess. Thank you
