ex says she loves me but cant handle a relationship right now

Hi,
Okay, so my ex broke up with me almost a week ago. She says she still loves me and so on, but just cant handle a relationship right now (or with anyone, for that matter) because of the pressure she has to deal with (she constantly wants to know what i was doing, keep an eye one me etc.) and therefore the many fights we had to endure. Now, she also desperately wanted to stay friends. Now, i know thats not a great idea for me because theres no way to get over her if i keep in touch with her without all the benefits of a relationship. So at first i told her i didnt want to see her anymore, not in a rude way or anything, just told her it would be unbareable for me. Then she really cried her heart out because I've done a lot for her and told me she is so afraid of never seeing me again. Then, few days later she came to me to get the last stuff that went left behind at my appartment. We ended up talking about what to do about this situation and made each other laugh, and lied on the couch against each other. Not what you'd expect from a couple that just broke up. Then we said goodbye and good luck and it was over. Once she was gone i kinda went crazy and panicked, thinking i'd never see her again. So i called her and told her i changed my mind and wanted to keep seeing her as friends, really didnt know what to expect. We even planned for next week. This is not me, I normally cut it off and she'll probably miss me and text me. But this girl is really stubborn, so I suddenly convinced myself I really needed to stay in her life or its over for good. Also she's very attractive, so i was afraid she would forget about me in a minute because of the loads of attention she gets from other guys. Now at this moment I really don't know what to do. I'm thinking of telling her I changed my mind again and need to get over her so we better try not to see each other..
BTW, we been with eachother for just 3 months but somehow i grew strong feelings for her in such short time. Also it kind of occured she sort of moved in with me after 1 week.

Need assistence ;)

sincerely dummie

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Now at this moment I really don't know what to do. I'm thinking of telling her I changed my mind again and need to get over her so we better try not to see each other..

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I vote this ^^^^

... simply because you're too pussy struck to just fk her while you look for a girl that actually wants to be your ROMANTIC, exclusive girlfriend.

If she only wants to be platonic (no sex) ... Why would you settle to be demoted from boyfriend to MALE GIRLFRIEND?

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I vote this ^^^^

... simply because you're too pussy struck to just fk her while you look for a girl that actually wants to be your ROMANTIC, exclusive girlfriend.

If she only wants to be platonic (no sex) ... Why would you settle to be demoted from boyfriend to MALE GIRLFRIEND?

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that in the case of getting her to get me back?

Excuse me? She'll NEVER want you back (as her romantic partner) if you agree to settle for giving her cake while she eats it to.

Chuck her for good and find a proper GIRLfriend who wants to be your friend, lover, partner, exclusively and forever.

Your ex will only hold you back from finding your life-partner and any new girl will want you to sever ties with her most likely anyway. Why prolong the inevitable? If she wants you back the way you want (as her boyfriend/lover/exclusively) then she knows where to find you... don't wait for her, get on with your life without her in it.

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Excuse me? She'll NEVER want you back (as her romantic partner) if you agree to settle for giving her cake while she eats it to.

Chuck her for good and find a proper GIRLfriend who wants to be your friend, lover, partner, exclusively and forever.

Your ex will only hold you back from finding your life-partner and any new girl will want you to sever ties with her most likely anyway. Why prolong the inevitable? If she wants you back the way you want (as her boyfriend/lover/exclusively) then she knows where to find you... don't wait for her, get on with your life without her in it.

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What makes you so sure she's not gonna think she made a mistake??

I'm not a psychic but it is common sense to assume that if she's made a mistake, she will contact you voluntarily and tell you so. It is in Your best interests to give her the chance to miss you and realize one way or the other.

If she never contacts you, then you know she thinks she made the right decision. After you tell her that you don't want to be demoted to simple friend, tell her if she changes her mind, she knows where to reach you... then, get on with your life and don't wait around for ANYONE who doesn't know what they want... those types of people will fk with your emotions everytime.

Now... you usually say you don't stay friends with exes so keep up the good work ... don't live up to your screen name... you've only been dating three months and you argued all the time..

I agree, if she did love you she would want to be with you. it just doesn't make sense, how do you love someone but don't want a relationship with them? I feel like she just said that to soften the blow. you only dated 3 months which isn't long at all, if you were having issues within that time I think it's for the best you aren't together

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

those types of people will fk with your emotions everytime.

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Can't deny that. Though, like I said, she's stubborn and (didnt mention that) incredibly insecure. That's the reason I couldn't resist to call her, 'cause when I tell her I'm done with it, she will never reach me by admitting she was wrong or whatever, because she will feel like she's less worthy.

Then she's not worth your time. She's insecure and you've only known her for a few months wherein you argued all the time. Give it up man. She's not going to be your life-mate so you might as well get on with your next adventure in dating and let this one grow up.

Who TF wants someone who is "incredibly insecure?"
No need to answer that question because anyone who isn't insecure themselves or have codependency issues would not want that kind of partner. The answer is obvious.. let her go. If you want someone to tell you to be her friend while she uses you for your good intentions it won't be me.

Ciao.

One more thing, she would like to go clubbing with me next week. Is there any chance she would like to get somewhere else with our "friendship"? lol

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Originally Posted by mynameisdummie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

One more thing, she would like to go clubbing with me next week. Is there any chance she would like to get somewhere else with our "friendship"? lol

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Here's how the conversation might go:
Her. OK I know we're not together as BF and GF but I want to go clubbing.
Him. Sod off. You're an insecure git and we argue all the time.

I don't know, i started thinking maybe she's still wants the relationship, except all the fighting, pressure, living and depending with/on eachother... and so on. See what i mean? Any chance?

No. Do what Wakeup says. If she thinks she made a mistake she will be in touch.

I would also just like to add here, if the girl has insecurity issues, jealousy, paranoia which has led to lots of fights/stress which led to the breakup then you are better off without her..

Being with someone so insecure will make you miserable.

I agree with the others. No contact. Move on and don't go back

I'm sure she'll let you know by grinding with some random on the dance floor while you look on and left out... you're just her friend now.

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Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I'm sure she'll let you know by grinding with some random on the dance floor while you look on and left out... you're just her friend now.

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Yep. If she wanted to get back together with the OP, she would want a situation where the two of them can just focus on each other. Going to club with her as "just friends" puts him in a situation where he will be seeing dudes hit on her.

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Originally Posted by mynameisdummie [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I don't know, i started thinking maybe she's still wants the relationship, except all the fighting, pressure, living and depending with/on eachother... and so on. See what i mean? Any chance?

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Frankly, no. There is a saying about relationships "how it starts is how it will end". The ongoing fighting, pressure and dependence you describe is very bad. Now, sometimes people come into relationships at different places in their readiness but when there a true connection, these differences should be relatively quickly overcome with some good communication and honesty.

If she is too insecure to know what she wants and be happy with you, then things will only get worse. You will either grow to despise her or become codependent. Your only option, IMO, is to be true to yourself. Be absolutely clear and tell her how you feel, tell her what you want. If she can't or won't meet you in this, then you need to move on. For both your sakes, I should add.

So what if she's does beg for us to start again and wants to drastically change how things were, i mean, i been talking with her about therapy (what she obviously needs). I need to just walk away from it, because I have to invest/put some effort in our relationship? Sounds too easy for me :s