So (white) ladies... why are you all pissy that I'm dating an Asian?
TL;DR Why are so many white women so upset about white guys dating Asian immigrants? I get nasty glares from white women when I'm in public with my Korean girlfriend. I've ready very nasty comments from white women on message boards directed at both Asian women and the white men who date them... so ladies what's up, why so pissy?
So I'm a student nurse. I worked my ass off for 2 years to get into nursing school.. and now here I am!
As soon as school started, my fiance pulled the rug out from under me... not going to get into major details, but suffice to say, as they teach us in nursing... "Life is a series of losses." This was a pretty nasty break up... but... There's only one thing to do in a situation like that: Keep moving forward.
Well. A few months ago I meet this girl from Korea. She's in my clinical group... she's really cute. We talked a lot... I develop an attraction... and begin to chase her. Normally I don't chase women, but wow, there was just something about her. But every move I made she THWARTED. That is like the best word to describe this. She THWARTED my advances. I could tell she liked me though so I kept trying... there was something holding her back. Well long story short, I figured it out, and got her to go on a date with me. Once we hung out together we couldn't quit. Now we consider ourselves boyfriend and girlfriend and I sleep over her house a lot. I've been learning about Korean culture and have begun to take babysteps learning the language. I'm just so fascinated by this other world.
But something else fascinates me: The way people react to my dating an Asian immigrant. And it's mostly the way white women are reacting. I've gotten several dirty looks from white women in public while shopping or hanging out with my girlfriend. Like really nasty glares. I thought "Maybe they think she's underage cuz she's so small." But that wasn't it... when I was reading about Korea online I found lots of forums, articles, etc about American men wanting to date Korean women. Reading into that expanded into a greater topic of "White men dating Asian women" and I was... really appalled by a lot of the things I read. Really racist, nasty comments...
...from white women. Comments such as:
I usually have a problem with men of other races who prefer to only date South Asian or Middle Eastern women because I feel like the Asian women stereotype of submissiveness and strict adherence to chauvinistic gender roles may play a significant role in their said choice.
as just one example, but I read many more, very nasty comments. Comments ranged from nasty racist "they're only dating you for a green card cuz they're tired of washing their clothes in the river" to male-shaming "you just can't handle an empowered white woman". So there's a lot of stereotypes against Asians and white men being thrown out there by white women who are, for some reason, really pissed at the idea that some white men are dating Asian women.
I just really don't get it. I actually got into an argument with someone on a forum about this... they accused me of being a chauvinistic "playboy" who's suffering from "Peter Pan syndrome" and just wants to have "leverage" in a relationship and is only dating an Asian because of the stereotype that Asian women are submissive, and then said I was some perverted "Asiaphile".
You know I'm dating this girl because I like her. Learning about Korean culture is an added bonus. I will say that her being from another country definitely gave her a novelty factor that piqued my interest (after you get to a certain age, you really feel like you've dated them all), and she definitely makes me feel a different way than other women I've dated... I didn't select her because she was Asian, but maybe there's something about their culture where women learn how to treat men a certain way? I have no idea. I haven't delved that deep into it yet. But our relationship definitely has an interest factor because we both expect different things from each other, so we're constantly having to navigate these strange waters of different, unspoken cultural values and personal preferences (both of which influence each other).
I just don't understand... why the glares... why the nasty comments...?
