Contact from my ex and im back where i was 3 months ago...

All it took was a simple "hi this is ...... , this is my new number"
And i couldnt sleep again last night, thinkin of her.
"All i could see was her elegance"
So, my minds workin overtime thinkin ... why has she put my number on her new phone? did she explicitly text me? is she thinkin bout me?
So in the end i replied, felt better until she texted back sayin how great shes doin.

So i ask again, 3 months of pretty much solid no contact since the split, will i ever be over her???

Can i suggest a flaw in the no contact rule - it doesnt prepare u for seein your ex....i was lucky enough to be moving 300 miles away from her, we still have mutual friends. So no contact worked well for me - now the slightest bit of contact ruins me as is evident here. :( :( :(

Let go of the hope you won't have to let go of the person.

ex's linger like ghosts. let them go. tell them to go to the light and far away from you. don't respond to her. let go.

haha.. misombra. where have you been??

back to jay.. yeah. it's tough. i'm sorry to hear that she texts you to tell you how great she's doing.

everything is flawed.

don't respond to her. it only encourages her to keep contacting you.

I know i know but when i dont respond i just think about her constantly

slowly, it stops.

listen, you did it before. you can do it again.

She sounds like a brat. Why would she want to rub it in? I agree with Arty's post - don't contact her again.

KICK HER SKANKY BUTT TO THE CURB, DUDE!

Alright jay, give me her number, and her address. I'll get my people on her asap.

IMO,,,,,you need to get on with your life man,,,,,,,you can do it,,,hang in there and be strong,,,,,in time things will get better, and life will seem promising,,,,,,until then... I like pina coladaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssss

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Originally Posted by shh!

She sounds like a brat. Why would she want to rub it in?

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This is it man, she dumped me, and got over me v.quickly....she got with someone else days after we split. And she still wants to rub it in...iv not really been with anyone else since and shes always been in the back of my mind, now at the front of my mind though.
I guess its because she was my first love but i was probly her tenth or something, well probly not a "love" at all.

Now iv text her back she hasnt replied...i jus wanna scream at her - god i thought we had something, its not like im tryin to get back with u, just thought ud dignify me with a response.

well she's obviously not that happy if she's trying to get in touch with you...

Or she just wants to needle him. Seems it's working.

**** this, another sleepless night and ive come to post my feelings.

I am stilll very much in love with this girl...no contact has not worked, and it kills me that all i get is no proper contact with her now. I feel like she txted me her new number cos she felt she had to.

I jus keep tossin and turnin in bed thinkin bout her, imaginin her in the clothes she used to wear when i knew her...imaginin her receiving my text and saying to her friends how she isnt textin back to that. It kills me.

I would do anything to rewind time to start from the beginning with her and make sure i didnt lose her.

I love her and right now it feels like i will never stop loving her. I cant imagine anyone will ever take her place. Her voice, her laugh, her look echo in my mind and it really is killing me.

I would die to have her with me.

well dude you are not dying today or tomorrow and its all part of the process, try to relax a little...keep posting here we are always willing to listen and respond, treat yourself to something that you would really enjoy, grab some friends for support. Its hard for you becasue you really loved her and she obviously did not deserve your love.
There is no ammount of time that it takes to get over someone it can feel like a life time. I hope you feel better soon.

Try to roll with it. Just let it all wash over you and recede. Be like a stone in the surf for a little while. The waves come. They go. They come again. They go again. Don't try to swim in them, or out of them. Just watch them come and go.

Before I go on... Has she given you any indication that she is interested in getting back with you?

If not... Take her number out of your phone.

She broke the no contact. Which could mean a few things.
1) She is completely over you and wants to be friends.
2) She is not over you, and want to be back together.
3) She is deliberatly being mean to you.
4) She sent her new number to everyone in her phonebook and didn't realise you were one of themm.

I would do this. Ask her if she is interested in a relationship with you. If the answer is no, tell her never to contact you again. You obviously cant just be friends with this girl.

Mick

I was very drunk when i wrote posted that last msg .... managed to stop myself from calling her.

It just seems to me that we had some unspoken bond but i know that she doesnt think that.

Im actually feelin ok this morning, but i do still love her i think. I think just trying to forget abuot her is all i can do now.

Debating whether to take the number out of my phone....but im scared il regret it at a later date.

You could do what i did: write her number down somewhere, along with some kind of note telling yourself to never use it unless you're absolutely sure it's safe to do so (as in you're over her and want to be friends, which is probably not gonna happen anytime soon).
Then put it somewhere safe and delete it from your phone and everywhere else, so the number is only in this one place. Then at least you can't call her while you're out getting drunk.

This is what I've done with all my ex's contact details like home/mobile number, msn etc. so far it has kept me from doing some stupid things cos I have to really think about it before trying to contact her.

Or you could just delete them for ever.. I was too scared to do that though :P

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Originally Posted by jay12

I would do anything to rewind time to start from the beginning with her and make sure i didnt lose her.

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bad, bad, bad

I used to think this way all the time. In your head, you probably thinking that if you had the chance you could've saved the relationship? Ah man, this brings me back.

This kind of thinking can only make things worse. The first step to moving on is to accept the fact that it is over, because in reality, regardless of what you may or may not have done, it would've ended. Things happen for a reason man. Keep your chin up, and try to stop holding her ,and that relationship, on a pedastal. Coming back down to reality is frigging hard to do, i know.

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Originally Posted by jay12

I was very drunk when i wrote posted that last msg .... managed to stop myself from calling her.

It just seems to me that we had some unspoken bond but i know that she doesnt think that.

Im actually feelin ok this morning, but i do still love her i think. I think just trying to forget abuot her is all i can do now.

Debating whether to take the number out of my phone....but im scared il regret it at a later date.

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Yeah man, i remember when i was on the fence about taking my ex's number out of the phone. It was hard for me to accept that it was over. The fact is, that its just that, over. You wont regret it, as time goes by things will start to make sense again.

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Originally Posted by whaywardj

Try to roll with it. Just let it all wash over you and recede. Be like a stone in the surf for a little while. The waves come. They go. They come again. They go again. Don't try to swim in them, or out of them. Just watch them come and go.

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i like this. i think you're the only other person who refers to it in a similar way, using water.

Thanks. Not much else a body can do, though, so it's no great mystery. lol. What about water? You mean besides you?

jay12----I can empathise with your situation. Moving on is a slow arduous journey where you'll be reminded ever so often, round every corner, of your ex. I'de say leave the number in your phone for the time being.

There will come a day, when you'll see the number and you'll press 'delete' without giving it a second thought.

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Originally Posted by inkeepingsecret

bad, bad, bad

I used to think this way all the time. In your head, you probably thinking that if you had the chance you could've saved the relationship? Ah man, this brings me back.

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I'm thinking that all the time, it's like "What if I had done this and that .. " like it's all your fault.
Sometimes, I just sit there imagining what could have happened if I ... . And then you can't help but feel even worse.

This really was a big set back, but set backs like these i am finding are getting quicker and quicker to get over.
Iv taken the number off my phone and written it down at work - only 9-5 access, should avoid any drunken calls.
I agree, thats when it really starts to hurt - when you start thinkin of all the times when you wish you had done something different. Its almost like fantacising about being back in time and it sort of makes u feel better for a split second before you come crashin back to reality.
Im ok at the moment, i just cant make myself believe that i will ever find someone that i will feel the same about.

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Originally Posted by jay12

This really was a big set back, but set backs like these i am finding are getting quicker and quicker to get over.
Iv taken the number off my phone and written it down at work - only 9-5 access, should avoid any drunken calls.
I agree, thats when it really starts to hurt - when you start thinkin of all the times when you wish you had done something different. Its almost like fantacising about being back in time and it sort of makes u feel better for a split second before you come crashin back to reality.
Im ok at the moment, i just cant make myself believe that i will ever find someone that i will feel the same about.

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I know how you feel man.
Just keep thinking about the past and that you think you could have done something different, that and thinking about how good it used to be. Then you realize it's all gone and it's hard. I've only been this way a week and I'm still working on getting back up to 'par' so to speak.
The hardest part for me is trying to remember what things were like without her, and I just can't seem to do it.
Unfortunately for me, I can't just remove her numbers from things because that won't help, even though I did it. I have her number memorized.
I wish you good luck and I hope that anyone that goes through this can get over it and move on with their lives, myself included.