Ladies what's the bigger turnoff?

Ok ladies say you've been on two dates with two guys.

Scenario one: You like guy 1 after two dates and would like to continue seeing him. You want him to kiss you goodnight on the lips but he doesn't.
Scenario two: You don't like guy 2 after date 2 and no longer want to see him. But he gives you a goodnight kiss on the lips.

My question: Which is the bigger turnoff - That guy 1 didn't take the initiative to kiss you or guy 2 kissed you but you didn't want it?

Being a guy I know we have to take the initiative - whether it be asking her out, making plans for the date, first kiss. etc: you know the beginning stages. But my problem is that usually by the second date I'd like to end with a kiss if I like her, but I don't want to make the girl feel uncomfortable if she is not ready for it/doesn't want it. So what should I do? Go for it, even though she may not want it, or wait so I avoid possibly making her feel uncomfortable. On the other hand does it even make you uncomfortable to get this kiss if you don't like him? If for nothing else I would just see it as an ego boost for the girl cause the guy finds you attractive.

Thanks for any thoughts on the subject

I think if a girl goes on a second date, then she's somewhat attracted to the guy. I think it's normal to want to kiss each other, even after a first date, if both of you are attracted to each other. I went on a first date with a guy who was very nice, but there was no chemistry. At the end of the date he went to kiss me on the lips and I turned away, it was a big turn off and confirmed to me that I didn't want to see him again. If I like a guy and he doesn't kiss me, I would probably take the initiative to kiss him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ginger2013 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think if a girl goes on a second date, then she's somewhat attracted to the guy. I think it's normal to want to kiss each other, even after a first date, if both of you are attracted to each other. I went on a first date with a guy who was very nice, but there was no chemistry. At the end of the date he went to kiss me on the lips and I turned away, it was a big turn off and confirmed to me that I didn't want to see him again. If I like a guy and he doesn't kiss me, I would probably take the initiative to kiss him.

---

See that's the problem, I want to kiss her but she might not want it. But if I don't kiss her she might just see me as a friend.

Don't you feel any kind of chemistry between the two of you? Showing your emotions is always a risk unfortunately. But I think you should kiss her if you think that things are going well, you are talking, laughing, maybe holding hands etc...try holding her hand or putting your arm around her and see her reaction maybe. Tell her you had a great time, you want to see her again, then give her a kiss goodnight. If she turns away like I did, then at least you'll know right?

Man its just a kiss. How can you say "Hi !" Without being sure that she want it? Better not to say it or risk and say "Hi !" ?

It's about Chemistry. If there's chemistry, you kiss her - if there's no chemistry you don't

But in answer to your question

1) I'd probably kiss him if he didn't make the move
2) would depend on if it was closed mouth or if he was wanting some tonsil hockey. I'd let him give me a chaste kiss, but I'd dodge the tonsil hockey. And I wouldn't do another date regardless.

Also, if I'm already not interested in seeing the #2 guy again, kiss or no kiss won't make any difference to the outcome - he's already dead in the water.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by actualgoodguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

See that's the problem, I want to kiss her but she might not want it. But if I don't kiss her she might just see me as a friend.

---

Aren't you the guy with the inner cockiness and extreme confidence? :emot74::emot74:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by actualgoodguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

See that's the problem, I want to kiss her but she might not want it. But if I don't kiss her she might just see me as a friend.

---

You should be able to feel that vibe, see it in her body language, tone in her voice, her enthusiasm, eye contact, etc. If you have issues with social cues then that can be a turn off yes. That would make you a stiff, awkward, not a risk taker, insecure, lack confidence, not adventurous = boring.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by surfhb2 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Aren't you the guy with the inner cockiness and extreme confidence? :emot74::emot74:

---

Well yes, but I also want to respect the girl. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable if she doesn't want it. Once we get past the first kiss though and I know it's mutual, I'll initiate cause I'll now she wants it. Basically I just put myself in her shoes, I wouldn't want someone to kiss me if I didn't want it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by actualgoodguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well yes, but I also want to respect the girl. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable if she doesn't want it. Once we get past the first kiss though and I know it's mutual, I'll initiate cause I'll now she wants it. Basically I just put myself in her shoes, I wouldn't want someone to kiss me if I didn't want it.

---

You are clueless ....please kill yourself

No respecting the girl is not trying to sleep with her right away.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You should be able to feel that vibe, see it in her body language, tone in her voice, her enthusiasm, eye contact, etc. If you have issues with social cues then that can be a turn off yes. That would make you a stiff, awkward, not a risk taker, insecure, lack confidence, not adventurous = boring.

---

Well that's something I can't do is read signals. In college a girl liked me and I think I was the only one on campus who didn't know. People were actually placing bets on when I was gonna ask her out cause it was taking so long. Eventually she did and I was very surprised when she asked me. I mean you have a pretty good idea, but there's always that chance you're reading the girl wrong and that's what I want to avoid. But I guess what's the worst that can happen she slaps me in the face if I try to kiss her? I guess that's better than never knowing

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

If you have issues with social cues then that can be a turn off yes.

---

So you're saying if I can't pick up on the hints the girl is giving me this will be a turnoff for her? And that's my problem there's that chance that I'm reading her wrong and that's why I don't take that risk.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No respecting the girl is not trying to sleep with her right away.

---

Well I feel a kiss is disrespectful if they don't want it if it's invading their space and it's unwelcome.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by basilandthyme [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

It's about Chemistry. If there's chemistry, you kiss her - if there's no chemistry you don't

---

Well there was and I did but I made it very awkward cause I didn't know if she wanted to be kissed again. I went in for the kiss, but didn't stay to see if she wanted another one. Ahhh fu*k I blew it lol. She was def mad after, cause I could see it in her face when she drove away

Put it this way: if she doesnt want a kiss by the second date then shes either a). Not interested b) playing games or c) v uptight about "being respected"


so really at that stage you cant "blow it" so you risk nothing. Kiss her, dont kiss her. Either way your getting rejected. If shes interested she will kiss you

for c above: some women expect you to work hard to prove your not this or that blah blah blah and there not worth it coz they have deep rooted trust issues and insecurity prob coz they have horrible taste in men and any new man will pay for past bfs mistakes

basically if shes not kissing you back-just forget her

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ginger2013 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think if a girl goes on a second date, then she's somewhat attracted to the guy. I think it's normal to want to kiss each other, even after a first date, if both of you are attracted to each other.

---

See I went on a third date with a girl and wanted to kiss her, but didn't cause I didn't know if she wanted me to kiss her. How are you supposed to know?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by actualgoodguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

See I went on a third date with a girl and wanted to kiss her, but didn't cause I didn't know if she wanted me to kiss her. How are you supposed to know?

---

Would you please stop all this and go see a therapist! Jeez Dude! You are annoying me......cant you understand you need alot of help?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by actualgoodguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Well I feel a kiss is disrespectful if they don't want it if it's invading their space and it's unwelcome.

---

Not when you are on a second date. If she doesn't want to kiss you she will just pull away. If she was a stranger or someone you are not on a date with of course there might be resistance....second date, there should be some expectation of a kiss.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Not when you are on a second date. If she doesn't want to kiss you she will just pull away. If she was a stranger or someone you are not on a date with of course there might be resistance....second date, there should be some expectation of a kiss.

---

Never thought of it like that, makes a lot of sense. Thanks smackie. Though when she pulls away it's just going to be really awkward. Wth are you supposed to say to each other after something like that?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by actualgoodguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Never thought of it like that, makes a lot of sense. Thanks smackie. Though when she pulls away it's just going to be really awkward. Wth are you supposed to say to each other after something like that?

---

Just think up something funny and confident. Who cares what she thinks.....either she'll kiss you back or not. :emot60:

If she doesn't kiss you, she will give you some reason. Just smile and leave it.

My experience you would be lucky if you got a second date out of me....I really had to like you for a second date, and that meant I would want to kiss you....so everyone here has told you that a girl is interested if there is a second date.....we all have experience with this, and we are sharing it with you....listen to our advice!

If a guy gave me a little kiss and stopped.....but I wanted more - I'd lean back in and start up a really good kiss.

Then again, I guess you wouldn't date a girl like me, so perhaps what I'd do is irrelevant.

Well I see now why these girls probably left me, cause they probably thought I wasn't interested in them when in reality I actually was. I guess being too cautious and nice can kick you in the butt just as much as being too aggressive. I mean I went on a third date and didn't do anything after we had kissed on the second, guess that explains why she didn't want to see me anymore.

Women and girls always want the man to take the lead. They find it masculine. Strength, and confidence is key. It makes them feel desired, sexy, a woman. Sexual energy from a man is very important ingredient for attraction.

Have you ever actually kissed someone before? It's very easy to dodge a kiss if you don't want it. You'll have all the answers you want by her reaction to leaning in for a kiss.

A simple kiss isn't that big of a deal.

Have you ever let a guy kiss you because you didn't want to hurt his feelings? What if that's the reason she let me kiss her? Also, have you ever gone on a second or third date with a guy cause you didn't want to make him feel bad by turning him down? I just feel like anything's possible, I never discount anything so I like to cover all the bases and tend to over think every situation so there are no surprises.

Its actually better be too agresive than too soft. Most problems in early stage of relationships comes from not taking action.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by actualgoodguy [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Have you ever let a guy kiss you because you didn't want to hurt his feelings? What if that's the reason she let me kiss her? Also, have you ever gone on a second or third date with a guy cause you didn't want to make him feel bad by turning him down? I just feel like anything's possible, I never discount anything so I like to cover all the bases and tend to over think every situation so there are no surprises.

---

Why would a girl keep saying yes to more dates with a guy she has no attraction to? They don't, they avoid you or say no. So that isn't going to happen. Your anxiety is killing this bro.

Some girls do things out of pitty. Seen a case when girl got married on a guy out of pitty. Seriously its easy to tell if a girl is with you only because she feels sorry for you. Its when she dont agree to date imediaetly but thing for a moment and on a date you will see her sad eyes sometimes. She will look at you like you are homeless dog and maybe even sleep with you to make you feel better.

Most don't pity, it a rare occurrence.

The only way I would *possibly* pity date would be if I sincerely thought he was a wonderful man, wanted to friend zone him, and wanted to let him down gently in person.

That means sympaty without sexual attraction. Is leading to friendzone and pity sex.