I just joined a dating site and already 135 guys want to meet me , it's not even been a day since I created my account. Actually I just made the account only 12 hours ago believe it or not.Also I have over 170 messages to read through :shocked:
Are guys on dating sites just happy/desperate to meet any girl???
Back when I was still actively dating around, I sometimes tried classified ads and dating sites. And when I went out with women that I met this way, I compared responses. It was typical for me to get just 5 or 6 responses, while the women got at least 50. Part of that is just people following standard gender roles, including the part where men are supposed to ask women out.
It depends on what site u are on usually. If you are on a site u have to pay for, usually the guys are serious bout dating. But a free one, some are looking for a relationship. But most are looking for a one night stand. Are your pictures "sexy" in nature? If so they are definetly seeing if u are easy and will meet for a night.
Women always get tons more responses.. and I bet more than half of them are generic, and not really focused on you. This is pretty standard though, you'll have to weed through a lot of men if you want to find the right person on sites like that. Pay sites are traditionally better, as you're dealing with only men who are willing to shell out some cash just to talk to you. You'll still receive plenty of responses either way though...
In the online dating space, women can get bombarded by men.. and on the opposite end, men rarely receive replies especially from the women they are most interested in simply because they have no clue what to expect from the situation, have no grammar or online etiquette, and don't understand the odds and what needs to really happen to stand out in a sea of 300 e-mails.
No I'm not dressed sexy well here are some of the recent messages I've just received haha
"Wow you are a super sexy woman :) let me have some of you! Lol :P xx
"hello beautiful,
To me your main profile pic is perfect and I like your user name because it sounds bad but sexy
what kind of music do u enjoy listening to ? because I enjoy listening to all sorts of music while I am cooking and reading
I will be looking forward in to hearing from "
"You went bad too? What did you do? I stopped drinking lactose intolerant milk and went for the full thing. "
"hey, how are you? If your personality is as good as you look then I would sure like to take you for a drink sometime! :) x"
"Well hello there
You certainly caught my eye
How's your summer been?"
"Hey, I've noticed you on here and I find you very attractive. Will you....... Let me take you out? x
"u remind me of a girl i once fu*ked"
"Hello young girl, hope you are well, I was going through your profile first photo where you smiling that's perfect but in another photo where you holding phone that's not bad as well.... Hmmm all look nice... I really liked it, you look so cute in your photos n I like your simple profile...., I am just looking to make some new friend.....you can reply me back I don't mind...see you soon....byeee"
"i would do some bad bad bad things to you"
"Been a member for 2 minutes babe and I don't wanna look no further lol you are gorgeous xx"
"oi oi ;)"
Hello Good girl :-(
Hope you're having a great weekend so far, may I say you look stunning, I bet you get millions of messages :-) hope you see mine haha take care Richard, x
"Your place or mine?"
How do I spot the players?
Uhm..based off what you posted above, most of what you quoted.
Most of those men probably want sex from you. You probably only have a handful that are serious. I wouldn't be impressed.
Maybe. If he's joking (as his smileys indicate), he might be fun.Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous.. [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Creepy. No.Quote:
"hello beautiful,
To me your main profile pic is perfect and I like your user name because it sounds bad but sexy
what kind of music do u enjoy listening to ? because I enjoy listening to all sorts of music while I am cooking and reading
I will be looking forward in to hearing from "
Wtf? No.Quote:
"You went bad too? What did you do? I stopped drinking lactose intolerant milk and went for the full thing. "
Obnoxious. No.Quote:
"hey, how are you? If your personality is as good as you look then I would sure like to take you for a drink sometime! :) x"
Yes, he sounds pretty honest and straightforward.Quote:
"Well hello there
You certainly caught my eye
How's your summer been?"
Maybe: he sounds pretty honest and straight forward too, but I don't like that he thinks he should "take you out", you're not his pet.Quote:
"Hey, I've noticed you on here and I find you very attractive. Will you....... Let me take you out? x
Hell no.Quote:
"u remind me of a girl i once fu*ked"
Creepy. No.Quote:
"Hello young girl, hope you are well, I was going through your profile first photo where you smiling that's perfect but in another photo where you holding phone that's not bad as well.... Hmmm all look nice... I really liked it, you look so cute in your photos n I like your simple profile...., I am just looking to make some new friend.....you can reply me back I don't mind...see you soon....byeee"
No.Quote:
"i would do some bad bad bad things to you"
No (he's lying).Quote:
"Been a member for 2 minutes babe and I don't wanna look no further lol you are gorgeous xx"
Wtf?Quote:
"oi oi ;)"
Maybe. He likely sends this to every girl he likes, but this doesn't mean he can't be nice. Try talking to him.Quote:
"Hello Good girl :-(
Hope you're having a great weekend so far, may I say you look stunning, I bet you get millions of messages :-) hope you see mine haha take care Richard, x"
No.Quote:
"Your place or mine?"
Most of those messages sound really fake and unspontaneous.
sigh... and thats what I'm talking about... I would stand to bet a great majority are nonsense like that.. it makes me sad to tell women I've online dated if they've experienced what you're experiencing right now. For men like me that actually would put thought and real humor in my responses, it pains me to think how likely I would usually get drowned out by guys like that.
Even still I used to do pretty good though...
Oh also, if they don't actually put some real responses that directly relates to your profile.. you should discount them.... you want to know that they actually read your profile before they contacted you, don't you? Granted, many women also look at pictures and if the guy is attractive they'll respond.. but consider looking at the guys that actually take time to read and respond in correlation to what you've already posted.
"With a face like your's even man fall like dominous"
"You don't look that bad from your pictures! Is there a drug addiction I need to know about..? Or maybe a murder trial your going through? "(he's cute though)
"Thats an incredible smile. Drew me straight in. Keep it!"
"I won't copy and paste my messages cos I've got something important to say - I've just seen you walking down the street picking your nose! :)"
I never knew online dating could be hilarious:lol:
lol thanks searock.
I think you are right I'm sick of these generic messages from most guys they obviously not bothered reading through my profile.Quote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
If you're late teens/early 20s, reasonably attractive or better, with no baggage- basically you'll be hounded.
Why that age range? Isn't being attractive and with no baggage good enough?Quote:
Originally Posted by Love is war [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Quote:
Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Eh kind of... most men.. even older guys look for the young women that are attractive, that will more than likely fall for BS like cheesy pickup lines, and whatever kind of benefits they can get out of older men.
Older, attractive women are looking for relationships.... like women in their late 20s and early 30s... if they're attractive, sure they'll still put up with BS, but much less so...
Thats usually the demographic of where online dating actually works.... the late 20s and up... 18 - 25 men and women not so much... granted there will be an exception to the rule, but still.
Hey baby ;) looking for a good time?
Jokes haha
135! That is a crazy amount! I used to use three separate dating sites and I was lucky to get 10 views from all three sites combined over 24 hours :/ don't take this the wrong way but you must have some hot pics on your profile.
Ok, so it's basically cause they think it's easier to "bamboozle" a younger woman than a woman who has a little more experience (I'm 23 and I wouldn't fall for that crap either, but hey experience always helps). I hope I won't need online dating when I'm older, but if I will, it's good to know most of the douches will be too busy pestering younger women to have time to bother me :D.
How old are you, OP?
No, its the difference between a guy on a dating site and a girl on a dating site. You only have to be reasonably shaped like what a human is supposed to look like... and add breasts... and you'll get 100 responses without an issue. The OPs problem is very common..... in comparison, my average views were similar to yours, and I wouldn't call myself unattractive by any stretch of the imagination.Quote:
Originally Posted by Simpo [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Seriously 100 responses? That just sounds like more hassle than its worth. I wouldn't say I am an unattractive person either maybe a 5or6 / 10 but make up a lot in personality... well I think I do haha. That many alerts would just annoy me over time. Would actually be easier to go to a bar and find a genuine person haha :PQuote:
Originally Posted by LifeInflux [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Ya, that's typical on POF. Males outnumber females on that site and they mass message any females who look decent. Half of them haven't read your profile. Yes, they are thirsty and IMO most of these males are trash. But that depends on your standards. Many of them are out to get laid. That's why its important to filter guys out.
You're fresh meat. Period. That's all it is.
I'm 20 :) I have got tons of messages from teenage boys/cute young guys,middle aged men to old creepy pervs yuck(though i like older guys)Quote:
Originally Posted by searock [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Anyway it's ridiculous I've deleted my account now !!! never again :mad:
You're probably using a free site..get what you pay for.
lol wow... I think you should try a different site if you want to give it a go. If nothing else at least its an ego boost... .... ....Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous.. [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Do something you have to pay for... a little bit of money makes a big difference. If you're serious that is.
Agree to meet up with all of them at the same time and same location. Don't turn up yourself and wait for mayhem to ensue.
Weed out those who are unemployed, in a relationship, or have been incarcerated and you might have 5 left out of 135.
Match.com was great for me in the past. Because of my job I didn't have a lot of time during the week and my circle of friends seems to shrink as you hit 40.
Had a great time and met my wife on there
I think this actually happened a couple of months ago somebody used that Tinder app to lure a couple hundred guys to a frozen yogurt place or something.Quote:
Originally Posted by devilish [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I actually know plenty of people who have met their spouse on match. I can think of 6 couples I know off the top of my head and I bet there are more who are "ashamed" to admit it (my ex didn't want me telling people we met on there). She also told me she would get at least 50 emails a day. I stood out supposedly because of a combination of timing, looks, and a funny subject line.
What I've learned from this thread: Do not spam copy and paste "Hey sexy, do you find me attractive?"
But rather, spam copy and paste something honest and romantic.
That's definitely a good start. You'll have to follow up with decent conversations though.Quote:
Originally Posted by bankitdrew [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Generally what I would start with is an easy, memorable greeting, and follow that with some points that I liked on her profile.... always reference something that she likes.... not something that you like... such as her profile picture where she's wearing a low cut shirt.
You can reference pictures if she's doing something you like in them. "I can't believe you've been to that comedy club in Seattle, I was there on my vacation last month." kind of stuff...
That's what happens when you don't have any filters in place and have left yourself wide open to anything with a dick.Quote:
Originally Posted by anonymous.. [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
I've wondered about this. I've seen a number of guys mention how they've sent out a huge slew of messages on on-line dating sites and gotten very few or no responses. I was wondering if the girls are getting a ton of messages. Your post suggests they are. Of course, this could also be age-specific, location-specific, website-specific, etc. When the numbers are more even, people probably aren't posting about it.
If you change your mind about giving it a try, I'd suggest looking for guys who can take the time to write lengthier responses and are personalizing the response to match your post. Those are the ones that are probably most interested in you. Whereas the ones who keep their posts short or write something that could be sent out to anyone are probably just sending responses to as many girls as possible. Personally, I'd also look for somebody who talked about my interests/ hobbies and not just my looks. I'd want somebody who's interested in the person on the inside, not just the package.