Your opinion on my situation
Sorry for the novel, but here is my story
Me and my ex were together for 4 years, 3-3.5 of those years we lived together. Within those years we grew very close, to the point where she would tell me her deepest secrets. Secrets and problems that she wouldn’t share with her closest friends or her family. Over the course of our relationship I was there to support her during turning points in her life such as the death of her grandpa, starting of her business, the leaving of multiple jobs due to unhappiness, etc. I was always there to support and encourage her to press on. Things got bad when I started a school program and left my job to start a new business, and our finances weren’t the best. I was so stressed I turned to professional gaming as a source of venting rather that relying on her. She also started a job at a bar and thus we became distant. Later she told me she needed space and we broke up in January. During this time she partied a lot and started to get a lot of tattoos because the pain of it felt good to her she went from 3 to 13 of them. At first we both couldn’t talk to each other without fighting, and i did not hear from her till my bday where she called me and took me out. After that she would call me once a month and we would hangout until the end of june when I found out she was talking to some guy, in which she said “ i dont know if it will work cause he is 52,divorced, travels a lot for his work and doesn’t really make a lot of time for me.” Shortly after she unfriended me on facebook and I found out through mutual friends that she was in a relationship with this guy. I also found out that she was flaunting this guy like he was the best thing in the world saying things like im so spoiled or i never had it so good. My favorite one is when my friend told me the guy bought her a book and she boasted about how she was going to read it over the weekend. I know this girl though, she has never read a book in all the years we were together. In a recent get together with her we were talking and books came up and i said i dont remember you ever reading books. She replied “ You know i dont read books I read 2-3 pages and fall asleep” in my head I was like why you flaunting his book then.
Her new relationship started after the 4th of july weekend, about 1 week later i called her and told her that she might want to come and get the rest of her stuff. When she did she commented on how good i looked since i started exercising. I also took the opportunity to apologize for my wrongs from the break up and that i know it won’t change anything but all I want is fogiveness. She said she forgave me but the entire time she made very little eye contact and seemed really depressed/sad. She also asked me how she looks and if i was seeing anyone. A couple weeks later she called me asking about the laptop i bought her because she needed money and wanted to sell it. Also she was still telling me things like shes unhappy with everything in her life and her shop was broken into and everything was stolen. That week we actually hung out and during dinner she didn’t make much eye contact and we were chit chatting. She mentioned her parents asked if she still talks to me when dinner was over we went go to the pool house to play billards. As we played pool the girl I knew came out and the wall came down and we started laugh, joking, and having a good time. Again she asked me if I was seeing someone and how she looked and that she looked good for not working out right? I think she may have been insecure cause I had been working out and lost 20lbs. I said you look ok, cause I have seen her in better shape but she was fishing for compliments. As we drove home she opened up about personal problems in her life and told me she is stressed about everything in her life. She gave me a hug and that was that, now everytime i call or text she responds back, by the end of the day.
I called her up another week later and asked if she wanted to do anything she suggested dinner at an old spot we used to go to and also was willing to hangout after dinner. During dinner she started out avoiding eye contact then as the night progessed she started making more we actually engaged in serious talk, where I told her my side of the break up and how I shouldn’t have neglected her due to my stress and should have came to her for support. At that moment she told me that I really did change and that was too bad I changed now. After she realized I changed the whole mood of us hanging out felt like we were on a date again like back in the old days, she was telling me personal things again like shes going through a midlife crisis at the age of 34, shes stressed..etc. She also started to bring up some of our good times that we had. After dinner we went to the movies where we sat next to each other arm rest up, no touching but things felt like it did when we were together, we were laughing and having a good time. After the movie she started to tell me how she doesn’t like how she looks (mainly cause her new bf takes her out to eat a lot, never exercises, and smokes cigars all of which she change cause she used to be really fit and never smoked etc from what friends told me). She then asked me how she looks I said I can’t answer that, she insisted so I told her that she doesn’t look healthy and she’s changed shes not the same as she was before. I told her that her eating habits gotten bad, she looks way older than what she is (probably cause of the 2nd hand smoke, this girl was 30 when i met her and looked 22) how that tattoos were too excessive. She replied its funny that you changed into a better person and I changed into a worse person...I was shocked. She also said that she needed someone to be honest to her and tell her the truth.
Recently we started to hangout a little bit more everytime i ask her to hangout she is like when, so we started working out together, I was only on a trial pass which was a week long but we worked out for 3 hrs each time. And each workout seemed like we were getting closer and closer we are laughing and having a good time, as well as reminincing more about the good times. There was a time where I said ok we are gonna super set this and she says we are gonna super sex? I told her no silly i taught you more that super sex i said super sets and she just laughed. She also asked if i have been practicing pool and told me isnt wed college night, i said ya why you wanna go. She said sure, but we worked out too late and didn’t make it out. And then the other workout we did it seemed like she was letting me get away with being a lil more touchy, cause she didn’t say anything. Again we talked about the good times and this time it seemed like she got jealous cause i train her friend in the gym and told her that her friend complimented me on how i look and how hard i work out, my ex replied under her breath “whatever”. Also my ex told me that I am getting to cocky because I know I look good and I need to be humble but everyone i know tells me i am very humble.
A few months have passed and we see/ talk to each other a few times a week we even are more comfortable around each and it feels like we are together even though were are not. She still asks my opinion on things in her life, we laugh and have a great time. She has begun to talk about us in terms of our past relationship but she still hasn’t mentioned her man to me. We talk about our past sex(in which she smiles on), how we wanted to get married, what we wanted from our future, how I changed for the better, etc. The other day we talked on the phone for an hour where she was asking me about a date I went on and if im going to see that girl or if shes coming out to see me. She asked about my sex life and if i brought girls home. She also asked me what type of girls I am into and that the one i described doesnt sound like her. And she said I wouldn’t want a girl like her because shes not happy and can’t make anyone happy because she’s a drama queen. Which I thought was weird because she was never like that in all the years we dated and I think maybe she got in a fight with the guy. One time she knew I was on a date and she texted me at 830pm my thoughts were are you suppose to be with your man? I texted her back the next day and all she wanted to ask was about that date. We seem to be getting more comfortable and close to each other although only her sister knows we are hanging out, and she tells her sister that we are really good friends. We went out to a nice dinner Sunday and for the first time in since the break up she dressed up looking like a million bucks, im talking hair done, make up done, nice dress, jewelry, etc she said because I told her she doesn’t dress nice like she used to, i dont know it was like she was trying to impress me. Also from our talks it seems like the past 3-4 weeks she has been with me or out with her girls and not around her new bf. She tells me she wants me in her life and everytime I tell her I won’t be there forever she always replies we’ll you can always chose to be if you really want to. So I really don’t know what to think in terms of progess if there is or isnt any...any help would be much appreciated.
