To dickriculous: Thank you for your very thoughtful post. *hugs* It's just that it's not really just Dave; if it were, it'd be a microscopic bit easier maybe. :S It feels like a dog and pony show trying to get to know a guy to begin with, and many of them seem to lack a certain spark about them. :S But what you're saying about being stronger than giving up makes sense. I'd like to be stronger and be able to walk away feeling okay, or maybe I am and just don't realize it because I got here instead of giving up years ago. I just want something real like what I had with Dave-that unspoken connection where he understands me. I like challeneges in the men I date, oddly-not the ones which just surrender themselves and have no mystery. But if given the chance, I'd try again with Dave. Maybe I sound like a doormat, but it's true. I can't really say whether or not I'll try again and keep at it, but for now I love my family's sofa, my stacks of books, my stacks of DVD's, and the TV. And it confuses me as to why it's so hurtful if I have a gift..No offense, but I don't understand that.