My love story... and advice plz.

Could it be possible to put this in the dumping AREA , THX . i just saw it now.


Well, im new here , and i would just like to get some opinions and comments on how other people view my relationship. so i will tell parts of the story and if someone doesnt understand why or how some events happened , then just ask and ill post more details .


I wont tell the WHOLE story because it would be to long . Before we start let me tell you a bit about myself . I'm 18 , just finished high school , i'm more old fashioned , EX; i dont like piercings or tatoos and i wont date girls that have been around with lots of partners . I'm more of a gentleman ( not to brag but lots of people say that about me ) but when i get pushed to far i lose it and i lose my gentleman smoothness and become more of a fighter . now for the story!

I'v been with this girl for almost a year and 3 months,Lets call her ... Jenny(fictional name) she was my first serious girlfriend , her family liked me and my family liked her , both to the point were they used to talk and plan out what they would give us when we were married EX; buildings , house , big honey moon ... so we were each others first real lovers , in both a physical and emotional way . Before me she never had an actual boyfriend , just small dates ( one timers ...no... not one night stand) , and i did date 2 girls before her but nothing serious ( both lasted 2 weeks ).

So here we are BACK about a year and a half ago ...in December 2003 both of us 16 and loving it. I used to have the hots for her and she always found me handsome , even tho she liked my friend (he is a big flirt , not like me) she still found me better looking . So at some point my friend invited her to go to the movies with us (me , my friend , her and someone else) so she showed up . But the catch was that it was only gonna be me that would show up .kind of like a date .( this was to find out if she liked me and if i could get to her.)

So the date went Extremely well , not one ankward moment , nothing lame , just a nice fun date . so then at school , we flirted , one night i almost kissed her ( PERFECT TIMING) but because of my damn friend i coundt (ruined it), so the nest week-end we go to the movies in sort of a double date . She sat next to me , i put my arm around her , she dint mind , i moved closer , no response, so i went for the it and i just kissed her right then and there with no warning . she was surprised , but still liked it .anyway , fast forward , she ended up braking up with me because she felt weird being in a relationship with a friend . So i said: Ok , fine , we can STILL be friends you know ... so we agreed ,

But 2 days later i stopped talking to her because i always saw other guys (her friends) flirting with her and i thought : why did she push me away and all these bums keep hitting on her and she doesnt tell them off ? So i got upset and dint speak to her for about 5 months .

fast forward, At the end of the year ( school year , i started dating her again and thats were we officilaly started going out . Things went bad for the first 3 weeks because of the end of the year exams. so then we started seeing each other more often but her ugly friend and BF were always in the picture , so after a month of dating i let her know that i was going out with her and NOT her friends and that i only wanted her around and not some other people to ruin our relationship .

...Let me know if i made the right decisions ... ill post a bit later , the rest of the story . Let me know if its too long THX V

I started reading it.

But I stopped.

Do yourself a favor and add some paragraph seperation.

Makes it easier for us to read, and as a result more likely for us to reply with advice other than what I just presented to you.

is it a bit better ?

Yes. NOW, I'll read it.

It's difficult to give advice on all the decisions you made.

While it's good you provided us with all this back info.

Give us some more specific questions.

And soooo...what? So you told her that. And then?

Assuming I understand the point you're trying to make: You can't pick a person's friends for them, even if the one's they pick for themselves are ugly. Unless there's something more about these friends and her interaction with them you haven't said, on the face of it, I'd say you were out of line to put any pressure on her about them.

Ok , so after that , it got a bit better and things started rolling , at the 2nd month i told her i loved her and that i would stay with her mo matter what or almost ( she was moving far away... 2 hour bus ride /20 mins car ) so we experienced lots of things for the first time with each other . She told me she loved me back , then i helped her family move into their new home , then at the third month we made love to each other for the first time and about a week later i told her that i wanted her to be my wife one day . She agreed and said she wanted me to be the one and only boyfriend/lover/ husband she would ever have , i agreed . As the summer went by , our love increased and school restarted ... now we are at september 2004.

dont worry , im not done with the story yet... like i said , let me know if its to long.

Then , this is when it started to take a wrong turn , at the beginig of the 5th month , she lied to me . Her first major lie , she lied to me before but for silly things , but this , she lied to me about someone else. Before it happened , i asked her to let me know if guys hit on her so i could beat them up, then this guy who used to like her for years (she never liked him)keept talking to her while i want around so i asked Jenny not to speak to him anymore and to tell him off because i felt that if she dint like him that it would be better if she told him off instead of having him get in our way .So she told me he came to talk to her twice , so i decided if by the third time he doesnt get it , STRIKE OUT ... i would beat him up .

so one day i saw them talking together from the window of my classroom (they dint know). I asked her if she spoke to him, she denied. The same day, we went out to the movies ( our 5th month anniversary.) then i saw him there and i told her i saw her tlaking together and that she lied to me . I was gonna go and start a fight but she wouldnt let me go . So i went over to him ( she ran away, i woulnt listen) and i told him to stay away from her , that i knew that he liked her and i dint want to see him around anymore . The guy was shaking ... so i went back to her and dint start the fight just to please her .

she started to cry , apologizing saying that she was gonna tell me another day she dint want to start a fight , i dint buy it . so i told her that: from now on things will be different and i wont trust her the way i used to , and that i would like to know whats going on with her or it would finish in a disaster .

BTW the friend thing, yea , her friends always influenced her alot ,and they would talk about EVERYTHING (girls ...come on) so i dint want her friends knowing every single detail about our relationship . i wanted something more mature , a serious relationship ... no little dates with friends all over because you were nervous . none of all that bs . Just me and her .

I'll save this one for work tomorrow (:

Well, if it's all that long, nevermind. I've got a train to catch.

ok story made short , we broke up because we were both unhappy, i dint trust her and she was just going psycho with me and her family . so i just wanted to know if it was worth trying to go back to her and work it out or just letting go and enjoy the spare time i once wanted while i was with her .

ps. I WAS planning on marrying her , and asking to marry her in about a year from now ( i planned so i would already have the money necessary ) ...

p.s if too many ppl say its too long , ill rewrite it in a one post that doenst take this long to read.

Why would you want to work things out with someone you don't trust and you think is going "psycho" on you? These things usually are progressive...

yup your right , but i just want to know IF i should TRY to make it work. like , start believing her ( she did admit that she was a good liar tho) and to let her cool off and just shut my mouth and do things she ...a what the heck am i thinking ill be Pu$&y whipped if i do that ...ill just call it quits. Any idea were to start off brand new again with the dating process .Maybe some coffee places, just random girls in the city. kind of hard when you lost every friend you had on a girl you put to much interest on , and then im back to square one ...meeting people...where to start off...suggestions?

thx

Honestly before asking whether or not you should try and get back with her, ask your self this..can you really trust her again? and do you really sincerely love her and want to spend the rest of your life with her? If you want to try to work things out simply because of the way you guys felt about each other in the past...it's really not worth it. However if you really love her and think that you'll be able to work on your trust issues then give it a shot...good luck!

to tell you the truth , i really love this girl because we have lots in common and have shared lots of things, i find her amazing in everyway (except when shes mad...she has SOME anger issues) but what keeps me from trusting her is the fact that she lied to me many times , about various things and i just dont want to get hurt anymore by all these lies. I WANT to trust and to try to work it out ...but i cant get to it because of past events.

im leaning more on the let her go side now .Can feel the sadness coming soon.

If you think moving on is the best for both of you then that is what you should do, but make sure you won't regret not trying later on. Trust is a tough issue but something that can be worked on but she has to be willing to change herself too. Maybe she lied in the past..but try to look at it her way, could it just be that she didn't want you to get hurt..and thought that lying to you would be the better option? From talking to my friends i've learned that a lot of them lie to their boyfriend because they fear that they will react badly to the truth. Just sumthing to think about...

What's worse? Making a big mistake, or having big regrets?

yea , she lied to me about other guys hitting on her because she dint want me to fight . Shes never seen me fight but i dont understand why she wont let me ... i do train in boxing , everybody in HS is scared of me ( thats why nobody bothered to touch her, not even her arm :) ) Your probably right, she dint want to see me get hurt but then again , why would she lie about her going out with her friends and then ditching me . Her: ohh we went out , we had dinner ,and i dont want to talk to you no more .(suddenly)
me: Why??? whats wrong? did somebody bother you?
her:No...i just dont want to see you ... * i can hear laughter in the backround*
me: Ok...( in my head : weird and suspecious)

what was THAT??? im just very confused. this decision could change our lives forever.

red m&m ... blue m&m ... they all come out the same color at the end... :french:

well now even i'm confused...does she even want to work on things? cuz if she doesn't then i say just move on....

she's not sure either ...i think ill just let her go even tho i still love her and i know ill take some time to recover :( . but some time to myself should be good . I need to replan my life anyways.ex; college , work . Need some time to cool off and just enjoy life with some friends. ;)

Thanks for everything ... :)

Okay - read the story.

I would say let her go - and let her know you don't want anything to do with her until she can be 100% completely honest with you from now on. Put the ball in her court... if she wants to work on the relationship, she'll come to you. If not - then you know she wasn't worth it in the first place.

GREAT Tone ... my mind has been so much i a mess these last few days because of all this ( we've been arguing for the past 2 weeks now) that i havent thought about that . Thanks for the great advice and for putting interest ... keep it coming.

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Why would you want to work things out with someone you don't trust and you think is going "psycho" on you? These things usually are progressive...

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Yes they are.

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we broke up because we were both unhappy, i dint trust her and she was just going psycho with me and her family

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BTW the friend thing, yea , her friends always influenced her alot ,and they would talk about EVERYTHING (girls ...come on) so i dint want her friends knowing every single detail about our relationship

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Some girls just dont know the meaning of the word privacy.Once everybody else knows about your relationships, then what can you do? Its like being under a magnifying glass with thier freinds. Thier friends may as well tag along with you at that point on every date since they know everything already, right? lol

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Trust is a tough issue but something that can be worked on but she has to be willing to change herself too.

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Trust takes two. Depending what broke the trust, there is no working it out.

Most of what im reading sounds so much like me and my ex. Shes a bit psycho with me and her family, i cant trust her, even as a friend because of what she tells other people, and all the lies. I agree, call it quits, clean break, and as for hanging out with her, i wouldnt make a habit out of it. Personally, i wouldnt bother at all.