In love or just plain crazy?

Ok so i have this friend who fell in love with this girl about 2 years ago. They were both around 16-17. He loved her because he came from a broken home, and so did she and he coudl relate to her. Then when he realized he loved her, he told her and she didn't feel the same way, and got kinda weirded out by teh whole thing. As time passed they drifted apart, but the guy was still crazy about her, and though he tried he coudln't forget her. So one day he couldn't take it any more and he's like look if u can't have me as a bf then i want to be your brother (dun ask..). She was liek no blah blah blah...and he claims she was a slut cuz liek she used to flirt w/ liek all the guys and what not...and she knew he liked her but liek did it to torture him. And then she knew he'd do anything for her so she took advantage of that, and "used him".

Well anyway two years later he's in this love/hate mode w/ her and still hurt by all teh things she did to him. He doesn't eat and all he does is liek get drunk and plot against her (no shit..i'm serious). he told her he wants her to ruin her life and sumhow give him back his life before he met her...i've tried to get him to go to a shrink...but he won't listen, he's was a really smart kid in HS..but now he's failing outta college...i used to feel bad for him...and then i figured maybe he's just an attention whore...now i really dunno. He's anti social...and pretty much anti human race. Do you guys think he seriously has a problem or ls he just an attention whore? any ideas on how i shoudl deal w/ him???

Come on Pixie, this is the internet, you don't have to do the "Well I have this friend..." thing... are you the girl or is it really in fact your friends you are worried about here?

lol ...trust me it's not me....this guy really needs help and the girl is sumone i dun know too well...but she honestly could careless...

K I trust you :)

And there is only so much you can do for him... are you guys really close friends?

I have a SORTA kinda sorta not really similair situation... I have a friend that I've known since he was born pretty much. Our mom's were best friends since 6th grade so we grew up together... anyways he's VERY anti-social. He'll decline going out on the weekend with us because a sci-fi show is on television, and it's not a rerun.

He's just a big weiner sometimes. He likes this girl at work WHO he (suprisingly) has went out with (with a bunch of coworkers) before... I'll be like "Well ask her to come out with us on Friday" and he'll say "Well I know she won't say yes so I'm not going to ask her" and just is a weiner about everything.

Now where I'm getting at with this - is my friends tell me the same thing I'm tryin to tell you... that there is only so much you can do for him. He makes the choice to be how he is, ya know? My friend is screwed up and just scared of the world it seems... your friend could be doing it for attention of the girl he likes... or he could just be screwed up. Either way the best you can do for him I guess is just be there for him as a friend.

I dunno! Someone can probably give you better advice than I.

I think your friend sounds dangerous and creepy, pixiedust. Because he is so young, perhaps you can talk to his mom about this, as it sounds like he might need some serious professional help. This girl might be in danger.

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Originally Posted by Tone

K I trust you :)

And there is only so much you can do for him... are you guys really close friends?

I have a SORTA kinda sorta not really similair situation... I have a friend that I've known since he was born pretty much. Our mom's were best friends since 6th grade so we grew up together... anyways he's VERY anti-social. He'll decline going out on the weekend with us because a sci-fi show is on television, and it's not a rerun.

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Sci-Fi geeks are too apathetic to be dangerous. He is probably just a weenie, or maybe shy.

haha yeah I think it's both.

My friend joke around about how he's gonna snap one day and just go crazy... he really doesn't like my roommate - we were at a movie once and my roommate was talkin to me - and this was BEFORE the credits or anything - when they just have the trivia and advertisements up on the screen and he turned to him and said "DO YOU EVER STOP TALKING" all nasty and mean...

Oh man I was rolling... I could see if it was in the movie or somethin but BEFORE the movie even starts when we're just sitting there waiting for it to start... lolol - oh another funny fact - he use to throw out oreo cookies if they were not perfectly round.

LoL - I feel so bad.. he's a nice guy and he can be cool - he just has such an introverted outlook on life... like to the extreme.

If he throws out cookies because they aren't round, he is probably compulsive. If he throws out OREOS he should be strung up by his testicles. Oreos are yummy.
:-D

haha yeah poor guy... anyways I didn't mean to hijack this about my anti-social friend... sorry Pixie!!

Maybe he just needs to find another girl or something that will get his mind off from her ... what does he like ? music... maybe a concert... movies , sports...i suggest try to get his mind off from always plotting about his Gf...

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Originally Posted by Late_vamp

Maybe he just needs to find another girl or something that will get his mind off from her ... what does he like ? music... maybe a concert... movies , sports...i suggest try to get his mind off from always plotting about his Gf...

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thank you guys for your input...well i've tried everything with this guy, I mean we were never really really close, like in High school i used to get my math hw from him...lol well i started talking to him online and that's when he told me about his whole problem. For the past year or so i've tried to get him to come hang out with my friends and me..but he refuses to leave his house. He even wanted to commit suicide...honestly i dun think he will...but liek it's really hopeless with him. As far as moving on goes apparently he tried..but it didn't work. As far as teh girl goes from what i've heard she thinks he's a psycho and really hasn't even apologized to him.

so wait ... you've only heard from him only by online chatting...? or have you actually seen him doing all that ?( not eating , getting drunk)

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Originally Posted by Late_vamp

so wait ... you've only heard from him only by online chatting...? or have you actually seen him doing all that ?( not eating , getting drunk)

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well i haven't really ever seen him doing it...but i saw him 2 months ago and he looked really sick...so i figured he wasn't lying....well everything i've heard has been online and liek thta's why i dunno if he's just saying it to get attention..

hmm , from what you say he might actually need help ... i suggest you meet with him and you take him out with some of your friends ( mostly girls ... so there might be a chance he could get interested in one of them ) and you try to give him a good time ( try to make him forget about his GF/ex and let him know that theres more girls in the world than only her that COULD make him happy)

IF he IS trying to get attention , in that case maybe all he wants if for you to (take care of him) take him out and show him a good time ...( i guess , that would be it ... or maybe just have a talk with him instead of a conversation on the internet)

thanks...i'll try it though i highly doubt he'll come out

tell him to build up his own gravity.
it has been said by many wise people that if u want a gal, get a close frenship with her, and then all of a sudden, start avoiding her... i hope u got my message..

I have had to deal with something similar to this within the last week.

He needs to cut the cord, there is nothing you can do, for past 2 years my best friend has been lamenting his ex and NOTHING I say makes a dent, let me explain how bad it can get...

They dated for a year and a half, the funny thing is while they were together all he did was ***** about her. They lived together for about 9 months I think. She went to visit family and decided to move accross the country. Then they entered this long distance thing and she said she was never coming back. He called her everyday telling her how much he loved her, even though she wasn't coming back.

On the weekends he would start to drink heavily, to the point of blackout, and he would cry about her nonstop, literally tear up and cry. This went on for a year, at least one night of the weekend he would call me and ask me to hang out which would involve him gettnig drunk and crying about her. I am all for being there for someone and I know love is rough but after a while it got to be too much, I like to relax on the weekends not play therapist nonstop.

He goes so far to drop out of college and get a dead end job making minimum wage he is so upset over the whole thing, loses all ambition.

Finally he went back to school and is almost done, he stopped talking to her for 4 months. She calls him and tells him when she left she was pregnant and now she has his child(!!!!). This makes him even worse off.

Well to make a long story shorter, she comes back to town, he goes to see her for the first time in two years and shes like "Oh yeah there is no kid". How messed up is that.

He tells me "Well yeah shes crazy, good to have closure" I think FINALLY this might be over, nope not at all. She calls him 2 hours after he says this and asks if he wants to hang out and hes like "Yeah sure!"

Then the next day he is at my friends place talking about how he wants it to go back to "the way it was"

Case study on how one woman(or man, whatever) can ruin your life, if you let it happen.

Wow Don, that story is crazy lol

Poor friend =/

thank you don, see last night i was talking to this guy, and liek he was talking about how he really wants to die, he drinks constantly in the hope that he'll die from all the alcohol. He's 19...and he doesn't really want anything from life anymore. The one thing he desires is to go back to teh time when he loved her...and liek i really don't get that. This girl knows exactly how he feels, she knows how much he's sufferring...but she's not willing to help him. He demands that she let him love her...even if she doesn't love him back. Apparently because of the way she acted toward him he started to hate her, and he craves to go back to teh time when he loved her...cuz that was the only thing that gave him stability. I honestly dunno what to say or do for him anymore.....

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Originally Posted by XPixiedustX

thank you don, see last night i was talking to this guy, and liek he was talking about how he really wants to die, he drinks constantly in the hope that he'll die from all the alcohol. He's 19...and he doesn't really want anything from life anymore. The one thing he desires is to go back to teh time when he loved her...and liek i really don't get that. This girl knows exactly how he feels, she knows how much he's sufferring...but she's not willing to help him. He demands that she let him love her...even if she doesn't love him back. Apparently because of the way she acted toward him he started to hate her, and he craves to go back to teh time when he loved her...cuz that was the only thing that gave him stability. I honestly dunno what to say or do for him anymore.....

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This guy has become wholly dependent on her. Women HATE dependent little men(well the majority.) Obviously he has nothing in his life that makes him happy but her.

It might seem stupid but he NEEDS a hobby or a goal. Is he in college? Does he play Sports? Does he have a job where he can advance? Does he like to hang out? He needs SOMETHING in his life that is positive.

Also if he doesn't work out, exercise is a great cure for depression and anxiety.

A broken heart sucks, but somewhere along the way HE has to make a decision. Is he going to let the wound heal or is he going to keep ripping it open by hoping for something that probably wasn't that great to being with.

That is the other twisted thing about having a broken heart, you remember things with a sort of hyper nostalgia that makes every moment out to be great when it really wasn't all that. Take my friend for example, when things were at their "best" he would complain about her and on several occasions I heard him say "How did I ever get into this" But now that it has ended his life is over? Ok.

Also your friend could be using this broken relationship as a way to explain away other emotional problems like depression, even if he got back with her I highly doubt everything would be roses.

What did he do before he was ever with her?

Good Luck :)

Don, you're a cool cat. I like you.

Speaking of cool people TOMMY WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ; ;

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Originally Posted by Tone

Don, you're a cool cat. I like you.

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Thanks, you are cool too Tone :cool: :P