Will we stay as friends?

Hi everyone this is going to take me a little while to explain...but i hope somebody can help me. ^^

I recently started a new art course at my college a month ago...and i get along with everyone perfectly fine. 2 and a half weeks ago i started talking to one of the girls after class...and i was absolutely stunned by how we hit it off...i hadn't really spoken to her before then...but we have so much in common and we can really make each other laugh...and since that first conversation we've been at each others side everyday in class...and she's stayed behind after to talk to me.

I asked her to come see a film with me and she agreed to...but then she started making excuses the day before we were going to go out...she said it would be unfair to see it without her friends becuase they really wanted to see it too. I thought this was a pretty lame excuse and it got me confused...i just thought she didn't want to go out with me...but i said we'd go with her friends and it would be fine...

So the next day we were heading off to see the film and we were meeting up with her friends...when she tells me her boyfriend is coming. :horror: I was just shocked...it was the furthest thing from my mind. I thought after talking to her for hours and hours over 2 weeks the fact she had a boyfriend would come up...but it didn't...this was the first time she told me. She must have avoided the subject entirely until she had to tell me. She told me her boyfriend was in a mood becuase she'd been hanging out with me so much...

But since then we've gotten closer...we talk all the time and we're really close...but i don't know what she wants. I don't have a clue wether or not she wants to stay as friends or she has other plans...

i've not talked to her about how i feel...i thought it would be best to leave it and see what happens rather then force something to happen. But it's just gotten me a bit down...becuase i've never connected with a girl as much as this before...and i thought this would be a good time for me to have a serious relationship for once. XP

After finding out she had a boyfriend i tried to distance myself from her...i'd be her friend...but i wouldn't be as close as i was...but it didn't work...she comes and talks to me, and asks me to sit next to her in class...and i can't say "no".

i guess i just want to hear what you think of the situation...any opinoins would be much apreciated ^^

Ouch man...

Just don't become the backup guy that the girl says is so much better than her boyfriend but never will leave her boyfriend for and just keeps around as a constant confidence booster.

I dont know. There are so many things that could be going on here. Maybe she is in a relationship she doesn't want to be in and is looking for someone else to go to. Maybe she felt a really good connection with you as well that she wasn't expecting. Maybe she is doing what Tone said and is getting the attention from you that she isn't getting from him, but has no intention of leaving him.

thanks for the replies...it means alot...this has been buzzing around in my head for a little while now and it's good to get it off my chest. =^_^=

I met her boyfriend though...and what annoyed me even more is that he's a really nice guy...i could see myself getting along with him really well under different circumstances...as he's a little like me (we have the same interests)...but i knew he was rather uncomfortable with me being there with her...

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Originally Posted by Junsui

I dont know. There are so many things that could be going on here. Maybe she is in a relationship she doesn't want to be in and is looking for someone else to go to. Maybe she felt a really good connection with you as well that she wasn't expecting. Maybe she is doing what Tone said and is getting the attention from you that she isn't getting from him, but has no intention of leaving him.

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I agree with this...It could be so many things that it's not fair to make a definite conclusion on it.

I guess i'm not going to get my hopes up...i just find it uncomfortable when i don't know exactly what's going on. I guess i'll just have to sit back and wait...though i think it's going to hurt a bit...becuase i'm just liking her more and more...thats why i'd prefer it if she just told me we're friends...but she doesn't...and we're closer then that...the body language is way more intimate.

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Originally Posted by Azure

I guess i'm not going to get my hopes up...i just find it uncomfortable when i don't know exactly what's going on. I guess i'll just have to sit back and wait...though i think it's going to hurt a bit...becuase i'm just liking her more and more...thats why i'd prefer it if she just told me we're friends...but she doesn't...and we're closer then that...the body language is way more intimate.

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Just don't wait too long...Eventually you'll have to talk to her about this.

Screeching HALT! Rewind.

You chit-chat swimmingly for two weeks. She makes a date with you. Back-peddles, citing friends, compelling you to invite them along. Then springs her BF out the group at the last minute like a Jack-in-the-Box?

Think. What's is so TERRIBLY wrong with this sequence of events?

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Originally Posted by whaywardj

Screeching HALT! Rewind.

You chit-chat swimmingly for two weeks. She makes a date with you. Back-peddles, citing friends, compelling you to invite them along. Then springs her BF out the group at the last minute like a Jack-in-the-Box?

Think. What's is so TERRIBLY wrong with this sequence of events?

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Yeah..What is wrong is that she doesn't feel that attraction and therefore is making it clear that she just wants to be friends....But who knows, i've seen stranger things happen so i wouldn't rule out anything.

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Originally Posted by Asip4u

Yeah..What is wrong is that she doesn't feel that attraction and therefore is making it clear that she just wants to be friends....But who knows, i've seen stranger things happen so i wouldn't rule out anything.

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...you see thats what i thought at first..but what leads me to doubt it is that she avoided the subject of her boyfriend...and she treats me differently from all of her other male friends...she touches me more and gets closer to me. She also hangs around with me alot...more then anyone else. When i decided to distance myself from her it didn't work at all becuase she sat next to me, asked me to go out to other places with her etc. etc.

If she just wanted to be friends...she wouldn't stand so close to me when she comes up to talk...and if she wanted to make it clear we were just friends...then why didn't she say she had a boyfriend in the first place?

mm...i think she's just being silly. I think she likes me but not enough to drop her relationship for it...i think she just likes the way we are right now...the way we talk and flirt and stuff...but i doubt she has any intentions to do anything...

thanks for all the replies. ^^ If something else happens i'll tell ya...

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Originally Posted by Azure

...you see thats what i thought at first..but what leads me to doubt it is that she avoided the subject of her boyfriend...and she treats me differently from all of her other male friends...she touches me more and gets closer to me. She also hangs around with me alot...more then anyone else. When i decided to distance myself from her it didn't work at all becuase she sat next to me, asked me to go out to other places with her etc. etc.

If she just wanted to be friends...she wouldn't stand so close to me when she comes up to talk...and if she wanted to make it clear we were just friends...then why didn't she say she had a boyfriend in the first place?

mm...i think she's just being silly. I think she likes me but not enough to drop her relationship for it...i think she just likes the way we are right now...the way we talk and flirt and stuff...but i doubt she has any intentions to do anything...

thanks for all the replies. ^^ If something else happens i'll tell ya...

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Yea, keep up posted and good luck.

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Originally Posted by Asip4u

Yeah..What is wrong is that she doesn't feel that attraction and therefore is making it clear that she just wants to be friends....But who knows, i've seen stranger things happen so i wouldn't rule out anything.

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Well, yeah, Asip, there's that. But I was thinking of how manipulative the whole thing seems.

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Originally Posted by whaywardj

Well, yeah, Asip, there's that. But I was thinking of how manipulative the whole thing seems.

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It is manipulative...If it was me, i'd be straight up and honest with her asap.

I was referring to her being manipulative.

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Originally Posted by whaywardj

I was referring to her being manipulative.

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I have to start being more precise. Sorry Hayward...I was referring to her being manipulative as well...The second part, i was trying to say that if I was in this guy's position and saw what was happening, i wouldn't allow it to continue, i'd let her know right away.

Yeah. What Asip said.

heh...i don't think it's intentional..she's not a nasty person at all. She's not that well experienced and i think she doesn't know what to do...

She visited me at work today and we talked for a bit before i had to go. At first i just found this whole chain of events rather amusing...like it should be in some kind of drama. XP ...but now i think it's a bit depressing. I'm not going to talk to her about how i feel just yet...as i've only really known her for two weeks...and i have to still get along with her for the rest of the year...so we can't fall out or anything...the entire class would notice...