Nice Guys CAN Finish First...

I feel I have solved the puzzle on the Nice Guy, Bad Guy debate!

The difference between a Nice Guy (NG), and a Bad Guy (BG) is that one expresses confidence, and the other doesn't.

NG's are those that feel they shouldn't get 'touchy feely' with women they barely know. NG's feel guilty when hanging around with chicks that get drunk and hammered. NG's give chicks 'too much respect' in all circumstances. NG's usually think about others, more than themselves. The list goes on and on.

AN IMPORTANT NOTE: You can be an NG, and open doors for chicks. You can be an NG, and call when you tell her you will. You can be an NG, and treat her like a woman. You can be an NG, and spoil her with gifts... --- because women appreciate these things (i think)

But: You can STILL be a NG, and get 'touchy feely' when you meet her. You can STILL be an NG, and let her get drunk (because she is having fun), and obviously, don't take advantage. You can STILL be an NG, and show her that you care, without going the extra mile to make sure her gas tank is always full. You can still be an NG, by thnking about yourself aswell.

My point is - that's it's not the 'cockyness' or 'asswipe' attitude that separates the NG's from the BG's, it's the 'CONFIDENCE' and 'ATTITUDE' that does!

There's a big difference between 'cockybess and asswipeness' and 'confidence and attitude'.

You can still be a NG - but change certain aspects about yourself, that give you an extra edge - such as those described above.

If you can execute what i am saying - then you 'have it' 10000x more than the so called BG's.


Overall - you can still be a NG, and also have a newfound confidence/attitude that 'DOES ATTRACT WOMEN' - because you are being more assertive, more 'goal oriented', more 'motivated', showing more interest, and puting your foot in the water - ALL ASPECTS that chicks will dig (i think).


So, what do you all think about my theory? BTW, If it is valid, then i credit it to LF, because everything on this post, is what i've learned through reading a bunch of stuff here.

i have qualities of both if you were to classify every member on the site. i say, dont be a nice guy, dont be an asswipe, just be yourself. whatever that is, will help you be yourself around that girl, which is very important if you decide to live with her.

I agree, friend.

It's all about the confidence you display in yourself. If you're confident - and you like a girl - you go for her. If you're not confident, and you never make the move, the girl gets tired of waiting.

For example, if I wasn't confident in myself, Junsui would never be leaving her b/f and moving up here.

lol riiiiight

But I agree, you don't have to be an ass to get a girl, infact I wouldn't recommend it. Just be your usual sweet self and don't be afraid to approach a girl.

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Originally Posted by Tone

I agree, friend.

It's all about the confidence you display in yourself. If you're confident - and you like a girl - you go for her. If you're not confident, and you never make the move, the girl gets tired of waiting.

For example, if I wasn't confident in myself, Junsui would never be leaving her b/f and moving up here.

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Originally Posted by RSK

I feel I have solved the puzzle on the Nice Guy, Bad Guy debate!

The difference between a Nice Guy (NG), and a Bad Guy (BG) is that one expresses confidence, and the other doesn't.

NG's are those that feel they shouldn't get 'touchy feely' with women they barely know. NG's feel guilty when hanging around with chicks that get drunk and hammered. NG's give chicks 'too much respect' in all circumstances. NG's usually think about others, more than themselves. The list goes on and on.

AN IMPORTANT NOTE: You can be an NG, and open doors for chicks. You can be an NG, and call when you tell her you will. You can be an NG, and treat her like a woman. You can be an NG, and spoil her with gifts... --- because women appreciate these things (i think)

But: You can STILL be a NG, and get 'touchy feely' when you meet her. You can STILL be an NG, and let her get drunk (because she is having fun), and obviously, don't take advantage. You can STILL be an NG, and show her that you care, without going the extra mile to make sure her gas tank is always full. You can still be an NG, by thnking about yourself aswell.

My point is - that's it's not the 'cockyness' or 'asswipe' attitude that separates the NG's from the BG's, it's the 'CONFIDENCE' and 'ATTITUDE' that does!

There's a big difference between 'cockybess and asswipeness' and 'confidence and attitude'.

You can still be a NG - but change certain aspects about yourself, that give you an extra edge - such as those described above.

If you can execute what i am saying - then you 'have it' 10000x more than the so called BG's.


Overall - you can still be a NG, and also have a newfound confidence/attitude that 'DOES ATTRACT WOMEN' - because you are being more assertive, more 'goal oriented', more 'motivated', showing more interest, and puting your foot in the water - ALL ASPECTS that chicks will dig (i think).


So, what do you all think about my theory? BTW, If it is valid, then i credit it to LF, because everything on this post, is what i've learned through reading a bunch of stuff here.

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This from the guy who's still trying to get a girl.. Pretty decent theory. RSK, put this theory to work and perhaps you'll have girls hanging all over you soon.

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Originally Posted by artyemi

This from the guy who's still trying to get a girl.. Pretty decent theory. RSK, put this theory to work and perhaps you'll have girls hanging all over you soon.

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Ooo. Cold, Arty. Cold. You know thinking it's one thing and doing it's another. Why you picking on RSK? ;)

Hmm.. I don't think I'm being cold... This whole nice guy, bad guy thing..

Some people happen to be both.

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Originally Posted by artyemi

Hmm.. I don't think I'm being cold... This whole nice guy, bad guy thing..

Some people happen to be both.

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You're so right arty..We can probably pass for both. What do you think? Or are we too nice?

Nah. On here you are. But who knows how you are in real life, you know? Maybe you're mistreating some "nice" girls we don't know about.

So many dimensions to a person, right?

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Originally Posted by artyemi

Nah. On here you are. But who knows how you are in real life, you know? Maybe you're mistreating some "nice" girls we don't know about.

So many dimensions to a person, right?

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I agree, for most part anyways. With some people it's quite clear either way.

I agree with your statement. hehe

I agree. There is the NG(nice guy) ...BG(bad boy)...and IF ( I dont give a ****)

I am an IF. I go to school(Were I do not look at girls anymore and just go about my bussiness), then work, then when a saturday comes I get drinks and listen to loud music. Then repeat the process.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

I agree. There is the NG(nice guy) ...BG(bad boy)...and IF ( I dont give a ****)

I am an IF. I go to school(Were I do not look at girls anymore and just go about my bussiness), then work, then when a saturday comes I get drinks and listen to loud music. Then repeat the process.

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Liar! You don't look at the girls...Looking at the guys instead OV? haha j/k

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Originally Posted by Asip4u

Liar! You don't look at the girls...Looking at the guys instead OV? haha j/k

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Haha, actually I just listen to the teacher and stare at the clock. lol

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

Haha, actually I just listen to the teacher and stare at the clock. lol

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lol...staring at the clock. My class is so boring i tend to do that after 2 hours have passed..haha

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Originally Posted by RSK

AN IMPORTANT NOTE: You can be an NG, and open doors for chicks. You can be an NG, and call when you tell her you will. You can be an NG, and treat her like a woman. You can be an NG, and spoil her with gifts... --- because women appreciate these things (i think)

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No, they don't.

Women don't respect men who buy them gifts/drinks early on. You should only give gifts / perform favors for people you are affectionate towards, and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, women have to earn your affection. If you perform favors / buy gifts before letting her work for your affection you reduce her respect for you. There is an intrinsic difference between being a Nice Guy and being a Good Person. The first implies that you perform various tasks, often unneeded, to make others feel better about themselves. The latter means that you help people when they need help, but not that you operate at their whims.

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You can STILL be a NG, and get 'touchy feely' when you meet her.

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No you can't. Why are you being touchy feely? Are you this way towards all women? Is your touchy-feelyness a sign of your inexperience? Do you have difficulty controlling your emotions? Do you throw your love at random women / act overly attracted before knowing them properly? Why is this? Are you desperate? Do you not have enough female contact to allow you to be selective? What is the meaning of your lower social standing.

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You can STILL be an NG, and let her get drunk (because she is having fun), and obviously, don't take advantage.

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True.

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My point is - that's it's not the 'cockyness' or 'asswipe' attitude that separates the NG's from the BG's, it's the 'CONFIDENCE' and 'ATTITUDE' that does!

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Not wholly true. Every guy must learn to be cocky and/or an asswipe. Its just as much a social skill as making friends, and its a very important one especially when people challenge you or test to see if you have a spine. Showing yours at times is not a negative trait.

Confidence and cockyness are not exclusive and never should be exclusive.

What women really want is a bad boy who isn't actually bad or does no bad things.....see the contradiction there?

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Originally Posted by Confused2005

What women really want is a bad boy who isn't actually bad or does no bad things.....see the contradiction there?

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No, they actually want bad boys who do bad things. They just don't want it to be egregiously bad and they don't want to suffer the bad part.

I don't want a "bad guy" and I didn't end up dating the bad guy. It's too tough to generalize what every woman or man would want because everyone is different.

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Originally Posted by Junsui

I don't want a "bad guy" and I didn't end up dating the bad guy. It's too tough to generalize what every woman or man would want because everyone is different.

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You tell them Junsui. :)

I will! And it is way too quiet on here right now! How am I supposed to stay entertained at work when no one posts anything?

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Originally Posted by Junsui

I will! And it is way too quiet on here right now! How am I supposed to stay entertained at work when no one posts anything?

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I know. People have nothing to talk about, everyone is bored I guess. You should come to the chatroom until the forum becomes more exciting.:)

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Originally Posted by Junsui

I don't want a "bad guy" and I didn't end up dating the bad guy. It's too tough to generalize what every woman or man would want because everyone is different.

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Those two do not logically follow. Everyone is different: yes. But is there a wide disagreement with common themes of attraction: no. You may be actually be different, like all women claim but usually aren't, but that doesn't matter anyway.

Yes, I'm sure I'm just claiming to be different. My bf is probably a huge ass and I'm just too dumb to know.

I think you miss the point that it doesn't matter either way. A large majority of women respond favorably to "bad boys."

Alright, whatever you say :)

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Originally Posted by MVPlaya

I think you miss the point that it doesn't matter either way. A large majority of women respond favorably to "bad boys."

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Care to show some stats Mv? Or just from your own experience?

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Originally Posted by MVPlaya

I think you miss the point that it doesn't matter either way. A large majority of women respond favorably to "bad boys."

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We can a check of what women respond to right here on the forum..

And I think most of the girls here like good guys...

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Originally Posted by Junsui

I don't want a "bad guy" and I didn't end up dating the bad guy. It's too tough to generalize what every woman or man would want because everyone is different.

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"Dating"?

Your "Boyfriend"?

How much time a week do you guys currently spend together?

Oh wait....that's right....

nvm

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Originally Posted by Cybog

"Dating"?

Your "Boyfriend"?

How much time a week do you guys currently spend together?

Oh wait....that's right....

nvm

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ok?






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