So about a year ago around November, this girl and I started talking and hanging out a lot. Pretty soon watching movies turned into cuddling and kissing and finally like a week before we left for break we had sex a few times. I was sort of into this girl but she told me she wasn't looking for a relationship. Over break, we kept in touch, texted a bit, nothing too special. 3 days before she comes back from break, she tells me that there is a guy from back home she's known for a while and she has strong feelings for even though they won't be in a relationship, and so she wants to cut things off with me. Fine with me.

Fast-forward to September 2014. I see this girl again. We talked a bit and she told me (not out of the blue, the conversation was leading up to this) that she mostly liked me because I liked her. I don't know why I cared, but I did, so I texted her later on to ask if this whole "I like you because you like me" thing meant she wasn't physically attracted to me or just that she didn't like me. After a bit of deterrent responses she told me she thought I was cute but my personality "seemed annoying" and that she wasn't looking for a relationship.

I don't like this girl nor do I want to get back together with her, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about whether or not she really found me physically attractive even in the slightest. The only reason I'm posting about this is because these thoughts are ruining my relationship with someone I'm seeing now, and distracting me from more important things. Most of my friends whom I've talked to about this say that she probably did think I was cute but just used me for attention/sex. It seems logical to me, but for some reason I can't really "accept it" I guess, because I still keep wondering.

I guess what I'm asking is: what was this girl doing with me and how did she really feel about my physically and emotionally? Was she at least physically attracted to me? Was it that she thought something would happen but found out she didn't really have a connection with me? Was she just using me for sex? I don't know and that's why I'm asking. Part of me says that she must have thought I was cute because most girls don't have sex with guys they aren't at least a bit physically attracted to, even if she just wanted someone to have sex with, it would still be awkward to do it with someone she wasn't physically into, and so she probably wouldn't have done it a second time. The other part of me says that she was lying about what she said in the text message just to get me off her case. I don't know, but I really need advice because I've been thinking about this for the last 4 months. It's ruined my academic career last semester as well a relationship I'm pursuing with a different girl. I guess I care because of low self-esteem/lack of confidence, but also because I never found closure with this girl and I don't know why she did what she did. I know I shouldn't care but I do. And if she was just using me why couldn't she have just told me immediately instead of just avoiding the question?