new here-- need opinions

[confused00069]

Hey everyone... I'm new ot the forums....24 year old male who can never seem to get it right w/ girls.

anyway. recently, i was seeing this girl, and we had met in late january, and kinda quickly jumped into sex..without getting to know eachother well, but for about 2 months hung out almost daily, sex was agreat and loved eachother's company. about a month and a half in, everyone we knew started sayin how much they loved us together, thought we had each found "the one" stuff like that. So it put some pressure on us. then she started getting pressure when trying to get her career started and the way I get is when I see trouble in a relationship I like, i panic and make sure everything is ok and get kinda annoying in doing so. I'm insecure and really not sure why, everyone tells me I shouldn't be and that i'm a great guy and anyone would love to have me. Anyway...we had taken some time off, and it didn't work, and she finally admitted one day that she just wanted to try to be friends ot get stuff w/ her figured out, and i agreed..but 2 days later when drunk, said something that apparantly showed my true feelings (still not sure what I said). Since then I told her we should not talk or see eachohter unless she feels she misses me or wants to try to talk or thinks something can happen again. Immediately after I had said all this stuff though while drunk, she had only suggested not seeing eachother a while but still talkin and maybe in some time (not sure what she meant by that), we could try agian. Anyway, what does everyone think? Should I think theres a chance of her calling and trying again or should I move on? I REALLY REALLY liked this girl a lot and i truly htink it could work with the pressure off us, but I don't wanna be a fool for her. Thanks all for any opinions.

[Asip4u]

Honestly, it could be quite a few things...If she said that you should be friends for awhile, it could mean that she isn't into you anymore. A lot of girls will say "let's be friends" after seeing a guy for a month or so because that's all they wanted, something short term. You should know her well enough to tell whether she is still into you or she just wants to be friends. If you still aren't sure, i would talk to her and get it over with.

[confused00069]

well, when she origianlly told me the friends thing, she cried her eyes out because she was so emotionally confused by all the confusion in her life and by confusion with us. I asked her if this friends thing was a way of letting me down, cause if it is , let me know..cause she knows I hate when people aren't completely honest. We had been seeing eachother/dating over 4 months when this happened. I truly think shes just got a lot going on, but at the same time, the reason I told her she needs to take time completely away and call me is because If i continue to talk to her, and not see her, i'll stay attached to her and never get over her, then if she never decides she really wants to date me, its that much harder to get over her and I just wasted time. This way, I mean, i've thought of her everyday since this(last monday), but i'm just trying to have fun, so that everyday I get more and more over her just incase she doesn't come back, and if she does, I guess I can survey the situation at that time.

[confused00069]

also, she kinda forced me into a bf/gf thing, for a few weeks I wasn't sure I wanted ot commit, although I wasn't seeing other girls, and she gave me an decision of bf/gf or nothing, I took bf/gf and really fell hard for her, now this...so ...she definitely wanted moree, but found that with all this goin on w/ her career and the pressure of us....she couldn't handle it right now.

[Asip4u]

In that case, give her some space, dont' think about her too much and just be there for her when she calls you. Don't allow this to drag on for too long either because you also need to know where you stand so you can either be her b/f, friend or move on. Nobody likes being pressured so much therefore having some time away from each other might fix things. Good Luck!

[JimmyHat]

Just use her till the last drop...bang until you bleed then leave her

[mhussain]

start having some confidence in urself .... and give her her space dude ...

Hussain

[confused00069]

Thanks for the responses...thats kinda the way I was gonna look at it...try to get some confidence in myself and def. give her space....I know if I don't give her space, then it definitely won't work out...thx for the responses so far though

[mhussain]

dont worry if the give her space thing doesnt work out ... be worried if the have some confidence in ursefl thing doesnt work out

Hussain

[confused00069]

thanks hussain...i'm not worried about the confidence in me working out too much, i just know its a work in progress....i always worry more about things I can't control, like her and her feelings.....

[mhussain]

u shouldnt

smile mate .. life works itself out

Hussain

[confused00069]

Thanks man, just an update on my situation. Yesterday her friend Craig who I hung out with while with her all the time called to ask how I was doin and what not. I told him fine, just confused cause I don't know whats going to happen but i'm tryin to do this day by day. He said he hadn't talked to her much because of this wedding she was in last weekend. I dunno, all I do know is that they both usually work monday nights and this was right at the beginning of what would/should have been their shift together so I wonder if she had him call? I'm tryin not to get my hopes up about that. Another thing is I went to see my therapist for the second straight week to work on gettin me better, it looks like i'm making progress, so thats encouraging. I'm already lookin forward to my next appointment.

[mhussain]

thats good to hear .. take care

best of luck ...

Hussain

[confused00069]

well, I think my situation is deaded and its time to totally get over her. I found out today through a friend that I was blocked on AIM by her..so that pissed me off, as far as I knew this wasn't that childish. So I text messaged her adn told her I wanted to cut my losses and I want my stuff back. That this not talking stuff seems childish and that if anything will happen between us, then it will happen, but for now I need to get over her and move on.

She responded a bit later and said I could meet up w/ her friend Craig to exchange stuff cause she doesn't want to see me, and that she agreed about what I said about if/when something happens with us.
So this kind of hurts, but at least i Know where I stand more, but i'm just confused as to why shes so like..against seeing me...who knows...but....time to start to healing now....