What do i do ? Need some advice.

[thedudeyo]

Hey guys. Hope you all good. Got a bit of a problem here and i could really use your help. I'll try to get straight to it.

To start i met my ex in 2012, first relationship for both of us we were in college. we got together and had a really great relationship for about 3 years. We loved each other very much and became the closest you could imagine 2 people getting, we shared and talked about everything and it was amazing. We were best friends, just incredible.

Problem came after college, we couldnt see each other much like we use to in school and at the end we grew apart and that was where it ended. She didnt want it anymore, i became an emotional mess crying and begging until i just gave up and stopped talking to her.

She started university so i wished her well and left it there, broke no contact twice, called and said i missed her then for her birthday and i stopped after that.

A month after she messaged me to see how i was doing. Then a month after that she messaged me wanting to know if i wanted the stuff back that i gave her and then we talked and she said she wasnt sure about us and the future and what not. After that id get messages now and then, nothing important just stupid stuff most of the times. Most of the time she would message me like she was angry, i didnt pay it no attention..

Middle of June though i got a missed call from her, then she messaged me and we just talked, Talked how things were, how college was and the times we had, talked alot about alot of things and it was actually nice. She told me how she missed how we were and the times we had, how she thinks about me and the times we had alot and how she wished she could go back to those times and those kinda things. I tried to arrange a meet up but she said when shes ready, also she told me she'd come see me sometime but that hasnt materialised and im not sure when i'll see her.

She always use to ask my friend about me, stuff like if i got gfs or when i go out are the girls i hang with my gfs and stuff. She would get jealous and ask me bout the girls and stuff. She was relieved to know i was single.

So we've been talking for about 2 months since we broke up a year ago. I dont know what she wants because she hasnt really said anything. And also i dont think we will be talking as much again when she starts school.

Truth be told i miss her, i think about her everyday and even though i talked to girls after we broke up nobody has ever come close to what i had with her. Was the best relationship in my life. Talking to her again felt so good, felt right. I mean this girl meant the world to me. Even though we broke up there were alot more good than bad in our relationship.

If you had to ask me when was the best time of my life and the happiest, the answer would be her. She was the best thing to happen to me.

I would like to be with her again, im not sure how shes feeling or thinking, she said she would see me sometime and i shouldnt worry but i dont know when..

What should i do guys? What would you do in a situation like this. ?

Its been craziness in my head and i cant seem to stop it. Do i call her and tell her how i been feeling and how i feel?

I dont know if calling her and telling her that would push her away, or if shes been waiting on me to say something. The way shes been talking reconciliation was never taken off the table and i just really dont know what to do. Id really like some feedback guys., Thanks a million for reading ik its long.

[TheEvilJester]

Well, one thing I can definitely tell you I would personally suggest is that, NO, I do not think you should confess to her how you feel in some romantic attempt to get her back. From the way it sounds based on what you described of your recent interactions, I think you've made it perfectly clear that is what you'd like. You may not have come right out and said it, but I think it should be fairly obvious.

Beyond that, I have to admit I am a little on the fence on this one. My GENERAL rule of thumb is that your ex is your ex for a reason. Rarely does it ever make any sense to try again. What exactly would be different the second time around where your relationship would work now even though it did not before.

....

That said, your situation sounds like it may be a little different. Unless I misunderstood your story, it isn't like you two broke up because you had major problems/differences and you two just did not work out as a couple. It sounds like you really just broke up because distance/being busy with school work made it too hard for you to be together as often as a boyfriend/girlfriend should, and that just put too much strain on your relationship. So, if that is the case, that is a situation where it may not be such a bad idea to give it another shot.... IF AND WHEN the situation that caused the problem in the first place is no longer an issue.

It sounds like the distance/lack of time issue is not YET a thing of the past. Maybe it will be in the near future, but from what you've mentioned, it sounds like it isn't yet. So, at least for right now, it probably isn't the best idea to try again YET even if that is what you decide. However, if sometime down the road that issue no longer would be a problem.... then maybe it would make sense to try again if you are both interested.

If and when that time does come.... IF you do decide to ask her again, though, my personal advice would still not be to do so in some kind of grand romantic way, or saying how you two were so perfect and it broke your heart when you two grew apart, or anything like that. Honestly, I would say you almost treat it like you were asking any other girl out. I mean, she already hurt you once when she ended things and you were devastated over it. Honestly, maybe she did the right thing at the time if you two just did not have the time you needed as a couple, but that doesn't change the fact that it hurt you as much as you say it did.

So, why would you want to allow yourself to immediately be that vulnerable all over again? Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you definitely shouldn't try. Maybe it IS worth giving it another shot. I'm just saying, even if you do, there needs to be part of you that is just expecting that she won't be interested. If that part of you winds up being wrong, then that is awesome.... but at least if part of you is expecting her answer to be no, you won't be quite a hurt by it if that IS what happens. It will probably still hurt, but at least not as much as if you went all out, thinking you could win her back with some huge romantic gesture.... only to be shot down anyway.

Bottom line, she once had you, and she threw that away. Now, maybe she did the right thing for you both at the time, maybe not. So, the thing is, if she does not see the value in giving you two another chance, that is HER loss. If that is the case, then you deserve to move on, the learn and grow, and to find somebody who WILL appreciate you and not dream of letting you go.

I think that's all I am trying to get at with my overly long reply. LOL! Just that it would certainly be great if you two wound up getting back together and working out this time around.... but if that doesn't happen, that does NOT mean that she was your true love and you lost her.... it means your true love is somebody ELSE still out there looking for you.

Good luck to you either way.