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Thread: Breakup because of depression

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
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    Breakup because of depression

    When we first started dating she made it clear to me that she suffered from depression and that while at the time she wasn't depressed, she warned me that it's quite possible that she would get into a state like that. She was fine for almost 8 months we would laugh, hangout ect and everything was great. Anyway, this September when uni started back up for both of us she took a bit hit. With all her classes and artwork, she started going down really quickly and I tried help in anyway I could. I let her know that I would be there for her whenever she needed me and stuff. Asked her if she would go see a professional. But it seems like whatever I did nothing seemed to work eventually her texts started becoming less frequent and then eventually whenever I would send a text she either wouldn't reply back or would only reply back right before she went to sleep. Eventually, she told me she needed some space for herself and so I gave her some space for about two or three weeks. I started trying to text her again and it was just the same thing on/off. Eventually like two days ago she asked if we could meet up, and I had a pretty good feeling on what she was going to tell me but I agreed. I met with her and she mentioned that she feels like I deserve better and that she can't be in a relationship right now and that she feels like she overwhelming me with herself, she told me she feels as though she can't contribute or be helpful when she's like this and that while she still really cares and loves me she feels like it's best for her to just be alone and focus on herself. So we talked about it for a bit and her points seemed valid and I agreed thinking that for her to get better it might be best just to break up. I told her that I still care about her and that whenever she needed someone to talk to or anything that all she need to do is text me. But now I'm worried if I made the right call or not, I love this girl and I don't want her to disappear from my life but I also want her to get better and get the help that she needs. Her last relationship ended like this too and they never talked again after that but I still want to keep in contact with her to see how she's doing and stuff every few weeks and asked if that would be alright and she said that it would be fine. I just want to know if I made the right decision, and how long should I wait to contact her about how she's doing? I'd really appreciate any thoughts about this, I don't want to lose her forever but I also want to give her the space she needs. It's just all so hard.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
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    Male
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    1,769
    This is actually a simple one
    If she is better of without you then she should end the relationship
    If she thinks that you are better of without her then it is considerate for her to offer ending the relationship
    It should (in the latter case) however not be her decision but yours alone
    Since you are the one who has to „deal with it“

    - - - Updated - - -

    Or in other words: you have no right to make decisions for other people
    Especially not for your loved ones

    - - - Updated - - -

    €however that doesn’t mean you have to be together

    Think twice if you want to do such a relationship to yourself before you choose to go with it
    You are her friend not her therapist

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