Dating a white guy

[carpflounder]

I dated a latina. I took alot of shit from guys for this..but it was worth it. Its hard to imagine that someone as brave and bold as bluevette would let this hold him back.

[brown pearl]

My sister is married to a white guy , he's french, they've been married for close to 4yrs now and he's crazy about her. He does get very jealous though when other black guys are around or when male family friends he is not familiar with talk to my sister. I guess it ain't easy but he tells me it's worth it. I don't think differences in race will make me change my feelings or not go out with someone of a different race. I guess if both put the effort in and let others show how strong they are together then it works out but a lot of people would rather avoid the trouble of going through all the stress. It also depends on the area where you are living. If you are living in an area where its acceptable and people are more open to interracial relationships then it does make a difference. My sis tells me sometimes other white girls flirt with her husband in her presence but he makes sure they know she's around and shrugs them off . She does the same. I don't know.... this is a pretty difficult topic. Anyway about the guy i just need to be collected. As one of you said he's just a guy. I'll talk to him eventually when i'm ready and in my own time. I don't feel like rushing into anything. I came out of 3.5yr long relationship (well its been over 8 months now but still felt the pain) and the last thing i want to do is rush into one. It doesn't mean i'm giving up or don't like him because i still do. I just want to do things right, feel comfortable with what i'm doing and just be myself.

[brown pearl]

By the way i've dated an asian guy before. The problem i found out was the strong family ties and the problem with arranged marriages and family dictating who they are supposed to date etc. and interfering. I know some asians might disagree but i went through enough and saw friends (they themselves asian too) go through a lot of hurt and pain just because the guy or girl's family didn't agree cos they were not from the same country, class or religion. Family always have a role to play in most races but i just seem to have noticed its more rampant in the asian community. Apperently if the family chooses someone they know then its easier for them to interfere and help the couple out when they are having problems thus decreasing the chance of breakups or divorces. what you end up finding is that a lot of the women are neglected or the couple are unhappy. I don't mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable or stereotype but a lot of my asian friends have agreed this is true. This doesn't mean i won't go out with an asian but next time i'll choose carefully and look into the background, religion and family.

Anyway this thread is becoming way too depressing. .......................Someone needs to bring some sunshine in here. I'm not really in the mood for jokes now but any glympse of sunshine or positive post will be appreciated. Life is too short. Just want to enjoy myself and take things as they come.

[Late_vamp]

thank god my parents have an open mind . After all my whole family , they recently gave a nickname of "explorer" to me and my brother , because we date lots of women of different cultures and we are the only ones not married yet , the rest are all with other Latins .

[Lloyd95]

You're black, yet your SN is "brown pearl". Very interesting. Why isn't it "black pearl"?

Honestly, you're better off with a black guy, white guys have very small penises. Although you were with an Asian guy; hung like a grain of rice, huh?

[Late_vamp]

You're black, yet your SN is "brown pearl". Very interesting. Why isn't it "black pearl"?

Honestly, you're better off with a black guy, white guys have very small penises. Although you were with an Asian guy; hung like a grain of rice, huh?

yea i heard that too . Can someone back this up ? real witnesses ?

Lloyd arent you asian ? i seem to remember you as a tall asian guy .

[vashti]

::sigh:: OK, I guess I will volunteer alice to step forward and check out Lloyd's grain of rice to see if it compares favorably to other grains of rice.

:-)

[whaywardj]

You're black, yet your SN is "brown pearl". Very interesting. Why isn't it "black pearl"?

Honestly, you're better off with a black guy, white guys have very small penises. Although you were with an Asian guy; hung like a grain of rice, huh?

::rolls eyes::

[misombra]

i am really confused.

(hmmm,i wonder if shh!'s checked her pm's...)

[vashti]

I'll tell her for ya, misombra...

[Hugo Pickle]

Well sweet heart, don’t be so down. There is a good side to all this. These are some lyrics to the song, “Silent Lucidity” by Qweensryche

If you open your mind for me
You won't rely on open eyes to see
The walls you built within
Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin

This is so true when it comes to interracial relationships. If it is genuine and not some twisted fancy for just something different. Worst of all is when the relationship is some kind of narcissistic, attention seeking plot of mutual agreement for some ulterior purpose.

When it is genuine then it can be something truly great if you have the strength of will and focus of purpose that it takes to succeed. But, the same can be said for any genuine relationship really. But an interracial relationship that is genuine has the potential to have both parties truly see each other as people not races. You don’t see all the people that is in your family as “black people” or in my case “white people.” When they do something, I don’t say to myself, "that’s so typical white person." But, occasionally, I’ll find myself say that about people of other races. But not near as much as before.

I guess what I am trying to say is that once you have even the beginnings of a genuine relationship with someone of a different race then you learn so much about life, people, truth and the world around us all. It’s such an important lesson to remember to keep an open mind about others. The Bible says not to judge people, even ourselves. Some people lack the basic ability to see a black or white person as anything other than a black or white person. Most of us have the ability to go beyond that with people that we actually know and we see them as Tracy, or Terrance, or Bob, or whatever. But few are the people that will look at people of a different race as true friends or especially lovers. This makes you a better person to me if you can have an open enough mind to have that ability. At the same time though, I see way to many interracial relationships that are nothing but surface crap. All too often, I see what seems to me as people just seeing each other for the shock value or just some cheap, physical, sexual need. I’ve dated women who were basically cheating on an interracial partner and mentioned them like they were some kind of personal pet or dog that is no longer a puppy and they want to get rid of them.

Alone I had the ability to look into her eyes and say to myself, "I really think I could love this girl with all my heart and soul if things kept going the way that they were." The fact that she was black wasn’t in my mind until other people were present. Even then, it was only really a factor because the outside world made it one.