some advice

[RogerWilco]

Well we were at work once and somebody commented that we would both miss each other and suggested I should go with him. I put my arm around him and then he put his around mine. Another time we were walking along and put my arm through his and he never said anything, certainly didn't pull away.

Katy, it really does seem (from what you're telling us) that he is at the very least somewhat interested in you, if not very interested. Some guys might have a weird time expressing this clearly. Do you know if he's had many relationships in the past? He might just be a little rusty/new to the whole expressing feelings clearly thing. The getting out of the car quickly thing does seem a bit odd, but it really doesn't jive with the rest of what you've told us, so maybe he's just nervous, or afraid he'll say/do something stupid, etc.

So you guys no longer work together, correct? But still live relatively close to each other (in the same general area)? Just trying to get a good picture of the whole situation.

Ask yourself this: What is the worst possible thing that could happen if you sat down with him and talked things out in order to find out where you two stood? He'd say he wasn't interested? I know that seems like a pretty shitty outcome, but in the grand scheme of things, it's not much different than you never finding out for sure. And at least it'd remove all doubt. Assuming you guys don't still work together, that's even better if you're afraid of that being awkward afterwards. But even those things pass with time, sometimes more quickly than you think. And that's the worst possible scenario really. Think of all the other good things that could happen.

It sounds like you two are at least very good friends. But do you really want to go through life wondering what could've been, and always having those thoughts when you're around him for years to come but never end up saying anything?

Next time you see him, try complimenting him on something. Make it sound sincere, and make sure you don't come off as joking or anything. See how he takes it. He might be kind of shy with average to low self esteem, but hearing nice things, even just little things, from you from time to time might really help to clear the picture for him and give him that little kick in the ass he needs to get up the courage to let you know how he really feels.

Now if only I could take my own damn advice . . . [url]http://www.loveforum.net/showthread.php?t=11606[/url]

[katy123]

Sorry for banging on about this. Must be driving you all mad! Yes, he still lives in the immediate area - about a 15 minute car drive away from my town. He has made passing comments to me in the past - I once turned up for work looking terrible, had had a sleepless night and he commented that he wished he looked as good as me on so little sleep and I always look really good. I've just been speaking to my close friend about this and she thinks we both need our heads banging together as it is so blatantly obvious. Sheis of the opinion - knowing him - that he is painfully shy. We both also think he has had a bad relationship in the past, but obviously we don't know that for sure, but he has told a male friend that he doesn't understand women at all. How should one take that? I know I have to take the bull by the horns, but I really don't want to lose our friendship over this. I think I really should wait before I ask because he is about to sit some very serious exams, so don't want to be messing with his head before this as he is nervous enough about them as it is.