My first post, my first broken heart =(

[polo]

I appriciate any help guys

Well ...I fell inlove for the first time. We dated for 3 years. My first love. About 2 years in to it I thought she wasn't right for me and I could do better. That last year we still lived together though. I adapted bad habits upon bad habits while she stayed trying to fix things. She was soo good to me while I treated her like crap. I was mean and lazy while all she did was love me to death . I would purposely do bad things so she would be ok with breaking up.

Well, she finally said she had enough. And what do you know, all of a sudden I had the same feelings I had for her for the first 2 years. Things were heavenly perfect those first 2 years ...and all those feelings came rushing back right when she said she was leaving. She doesnt want me back either right now, I don't blame her.

She's pretty religious and says when she prays she feels like we weren't meant to be. I'm a good person at heart ...I don't know why I ever treated her like that. I want to cherish her for the rest of her life. I will cherish her for the rest of her life just the like first 2 years of our relationship ...I just think she's caught up in believing I will go back to my old self.

Do you guys know of any quotes to overcome her saying that she doesn't feel like we are meant to be? Such as love needs nurturing or can be reborn again? Should I leave her alone for awhile? I'm clueless on how to go about this. I pray everynight that we will end up happy at the end. I only hope it's us together. Any advice is welcome and much appriciated

[bluesummer]

Honestly, I know you say you'll never treat her like this again......but how can you guarantee that? I'm sure that's exactly what her train of thought is, as well.

Look, I was with someone like that......he'd treat me like garbage, and when I finally had enough and would walk out on him, he'd come crawling back, telling me he would never ever in his life treat me that way again. And for awhile, I was treated like a princess, but as months went by he gradually morphed into his old self again. And the cycle just kept repeating. That's why when I hear a guy say "I treated my gf wrong but I can change" I am skeptical.

What are you going to do to change yourself? Have you really identified what it is that made you treat her badly in the first place? Because if you don't know what the base problem is, you can't fix it.

[blacksun]

I think thats wishful thinking, you two are a bad match and you need to let it go. If you feel like you are a good person you will do the the right thing and let her go. If you want to be a nice guy apologize to her and shit but make it clear that you two arent going to be togheter cause its not working out and its you not her. Thing is you found yourself a girl that lets you walk all over her, and you seem like you have the type of personality that will do that when given a chance. As such you need to find a girl that has a stronger personality and wont take shit from you without saying something, youll be happier that way. Thats my suggestion, nothing is to say that you cant change, but odds are against you.

[Off2College]

You don't know what you're missing until its gone.

I don't think this relationship was meant to be, solely because you did not treat her well for that long when all she did was love you. I've seen too much of the guy treat girl like crap, make up, and cycle repeats.

[Tiay]

I have a question;
after the two blissful years, when it started to turn, and you started to treat her badly.. what did it feel like? Did you feel too much pressure, the walls closing in, too much commitment to just one girl when there's so many out there that could in theory be better, etc..?

[polo]

I have a question;
after the two blissful years, when it started to turn, and you started to treat her badly.. what did it feel like? Did you feel too much pressure, the walls closing in, too much commitment to just one girl when there's so many out there that could in theory be better, etc..?

Hey guys, thanks for all the help. To answer your question ...I was feeling like I could do better. At the time, I wasn't that attracted to her and felt she was kind of slow. She hated learning school . During the first two years, those issues were still there but it didn't matter becuase I was inlove. Right now, none of those issues matter becuase all I want is her again. I realized looks have nothing to do with love when you're older. I saw her dedication to me during the horrid times, and I appriciate that quality about her.

Do you guys have any advice for me on how to go about it? Any quotes? She said that what we had was really special. Can love be rekindled? Even if she's lost all interest for me? I keep telling her that we shouldn't be giving up like all those other couples that get divorced nowadays. We should try to see if love can come back ...I don't know if thats possible though. Anyways, I miss her so much and I am I complete idiot for losing a love like that. It hurts becuase I have regrets. There should be no regrets with love ...I am a fool. I appriciate any advice or quote on how to handle this situation and knowing that love can be restored....?

[Tiay]

I think the best thing you can do now really is learn from it.

Honestly, if a girl comes to these forums and says "there's this guy I love(d?) and it was great for two years and then he just started treating me like crap, and then I had enough and left, and now he says he can change and it wont happen again.." ALL of us here would say "he wont change, move on!"

You really need to learn what caused this so you can stop it from happening with the next girl, because it sounds like it's a problem on your part, not a problem with that specific relationship or person. Maybe you disagree. I'm just speculating..

[Junket]

Good person at heart?

It's not what you think or feel, it's what you do.

That's all that matters, because that's all that people can see.

[RedAngl19]

Sounds like a case of wanting what you can't have to me. I don't mean to be harsh dude, but the only reason why you want her now is because she doesn't want you anymore. If I was her, I would turn you down, too.

All I can say, is be completely sure that you love her. Make absolutley sure that I am wrong about what I think. Be sure you want her for real. The last thing you want to do is get her back and then repeat the same uncalled for behavior, ending only with her getting hurt again.

If she does take you back... please be good to her. Tell her you love her atleast once a day. My bf tells me about 20 times a day and I love it. Help her out around the house a bit, make sure you have quality time together, and don't take her for granted.

[dreamer101]

I am glad you realised your mistake mate. but there is nothing you can say or quote that will change how she feels. she proved her love to you, now you have to prove yours. if you truly do love her, then keep loving her, even if she doesn't love you anymore. simply be her friend if thats possible. give her time and space, maybe she will see the change in you. and if she moves on, then accept the consequences. and don't hate her for whatever that transpires. its a tough road if you chose to go down this one, but i am a all-or-nothing type of guy.

[enivel]

Are you sure you treated her that badly? What are some of the things you did to treat her badly?

I know that immediately after breaking up, I really felt like I had done a lot of things to take my girlfriend for granted. There is some truth to that, but in reality I was pretty good to her. I think sometimes when we feel rejected, we like to feel that it isn't "ourselves" that are rejected, but our actions. All I'm saying is be sure of what it is that caused things to end. I thought that I was lazy, too. Then I really thought about things and maybe I was just looking to try to find a reason why things didn't work out... but many times it is more complicated than that. You can call it "laziness" but the reality is your body didn't generate enough energy for another person because you didn't feel it... you feel a lot of energy now because she is gone and that is natural, but when you have her again, can you really control what you can give to her? For how long before you stop feeling it again?

[Gigabitch]

OMG, let her go. Do you have any idea how hard it has been for her to do this? Don't undermine her. Let her go and find someone who cherishes her. Just learn your lesson.

[swuftyguy]

Honestly... do you really think it's only the guys that treat their partners like crap?! I've seen a lot of it the other way around too. But, I digress... I guess the only thing I can add here, is that you need to learn from your mistakes. Learn not to take relationships for granted and take the time to develop them. Maybe, one of the reasons she didn't feel 'right' in the relationship was because of the way you were treating her. I think there's a breaking point in the commitment of the relationship, and I think you pushed her over it. Once that point is reached, it's hard to ever get it back.

Soory, but I agree with the others. My ex-husband was the same way. He treated me like crap until I would start to leave. then he would start to treat me well. After a while, the cycle would repeat itself. Maybe you do honestly want to be with her and treat her well. But I think you need some time off first to determine why you wanted to treat her terrible.

[Alex Nova]

You want what you cant have.

Thats cool... move on and leave her alone.

//STOP SPAMMING//

[Alex Nova]

lol...Assuming this guy is still hung up on this 3.5 month old issue...Good advice!

Believe me, Ive seen guys hung up on their exs for years...

//STOP SPAMMING//