Why do a lot of women...

[Mish]

...Ruminate negatively? (negative rumination, which is defined as the tendency to continue to think about something bad, harmful, or unhopeful for long periods of time).

Sorry, I don't have any statistics to back that up. I'm totaly basing that on continues observation. I know many girls who look okay on the surface, but then once you get to know them better they're totaly negatively ruminating their ass off.

How come?

[GrkScorp]

How come?

Are we counting "pity bait" or no?

Example:

Her: I just don't even know what I want to do with my life.., i'm so lost.., it just feels so hopeless sometimes.., like nothing ever works out.., I have no idea how i'm going to survive in all my classes next semester.., i'm so not smart enough to be taking all of them.., i'll probably fail.., I just just find something else that i'm actually good at..

Her expectation: (from the guy she's feeding "pity bait" to)

- Well.., what do you like.., what are you interested in?
- Why does it feel hopeless? Maybe you need to try something different..
- I'm sure you'll more than survive.., you'll do great.., you're smart.., you'll kick ass
- Shut up.., you're smart enough to take way more.., I think you might actually get bored next semester..
- Fail? You're one of those people who considers an A- failing aren't you?
- You're pretty good at feeding people "pity bait".., just to get some supportive words and feel better about yourself.., maybe you could do "that" for a living!

Excluding pity bait.., if girls are genuinely negative.., it's because they're bored.., or they have something on their mind that's going to be due or take place in the immediate future (very soon.., like a test.., project.., bills.., etc).., and so they'll let their imagination have an orgy with doomsday scenarios.., have an anxiety and panic attack.., fall into mild depression.., feel lost and alone.., find the need to talk to someone.., argue.., nag.., yell.., maybe cry a little bit.., and then get over it.., rarely apologize.., but often thank you instead.., for dealing with it...

[misombra]

i don't know. all i can say is that only women do this. not men.

[Mish]

Are we counting "pity bait" or no?

Nah, I think it's rumination without a specific end in mind. You can put them in a room all by themselves and they'll just stay there ruminating. I don't understand why so many of them do that.

[misombra]

are you talking about something in specific?

[Mish]

are you talking about something in specific?

Nah, just girls I know in general. I just see it often.

[misombra]

maybe something is wrong with them.

[Tedel]

I think it's because women's psychology works inwards > outwards... from themselves to the rest of the world. What happen to themselves is what they usually what they see first in their minds.

Maybe that's why...

[IndiReloaded]

Do you want a biologic/genetic explanation, Mish? There is one.

[Charlie Boy II]

I've never encountered anyone so fond of the word "ruminating".

[Mish]

I've never encountered anyone so fond of the word "ruminating".

You have now

[Mish]

Do you want a biologic/genetic explanation, Mish? There is one.

Okay, Shoot

[IndiReloaded]

Men = hunter/tunnel vision. Going straight for the goal, no 'negative thoughts' as distractions. You're more likely to fail or end up dead if you do & therefore men w/those traits are selected against.

Women = social organizers & child rearers. We are programmed to look at 'big picture' & anticipate consequences (esp negative ones that could result in our offspring dying). So women who could accurately imagine (and therefore act to prevent) negative situations would more likely pass on their genes. Things like recognizing dangerous activities, early signs of illness, dangerous social dynamics/rivalry.

[anachronistic]

We have our wonderful instinct argument, brought to you by lovely Ms. (extra hard on the Zs) Indie.

Of course, it seems logical, probably even correct, but give this a thought:

It's not just a feminine thing, or even women in general. It's an experience thing; the way you think is based on the things you have come across, the thoughts you've pondered, and your preemptive instincts. And a few other things. All those what if's, and anticipating certain events... it's all throwing a stone into the abyss. It's got little to do with whether your a female or not. Insecurity and optimism and whatnot all have their toll on this.

[Mish]

Men = hunter/tunnel vision. Going straight for the goal, no 'negative thoughts' as distractions. You're more likely to fail or end up dead if you do & therefore men w/those traits are selected against.

Women = social organizers & child rearers. We are programmed to look at 'big picture' & anticipate consequences (esp negative ones that could result in our offspring dying). So women who could accurately imagine (and therefore act to prevent) negative situations would more likely pass on their genes. Things like recognizing dangerous activities, early signs of illness, dangerous social dynamics/rivalry.

It makes sense when you put it this way Indi.

I suppose, rumination acts as a constant motivator to watch out for things espeically ones that might endanger the life of the kid. Though, at the expense of the woman's well being. And I suppose then, other times I find women ruminate are some sort of preparation for it.