Pros and Cons

[misombra]

some guys are used to young, drunk girls falling all over them and not saying no. then when a girl doesn't do those things the guy freaks out.

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah right Misombra. If a guy cancelled on you twice in a row you'd be spewing. That's just flat-out rudeness.

[lesa]

Actually it sounds like she wants to get drunk and fall all over him and sexing and such.

If he calls her for some silly hangout, she would probably love to get drunk and sex him. hehe Maybe he can take advantage of that.

She's no cool girl...that's for sure.

[lesa]

I don't want to put too much of my opinion in your situation because she could be a cool girl and needs a chance.

However, I doubt it and I wouldn't have it.

And she uses her friend as her excuse...please!

Get this drama girl out of my face.

[Charlie Boy II]

Actually it sounds like she wants to get drunk and fall all over him and sexing and such.

If he calls her for some silly hangout, she would probably love to get drunk and sex him. hehe Maybe he can take advantage of that.

She's no cool girl...that's for sure.

^^^^ hahaha that's actually what I suspect as well. She just wants sex.

But what about my mind? I'm not just a peice of meat, you know.

[Mish]

The situation is a bitch. I usually don't bother after 2 cancellations in a row because it shows getting together is on a low list of priorities. Though since reasons sound legitimate maybe it might be an idea to say you are too busy for tomorrow and then ask her out for another date instead? Along the lines of "Sorry I won't be able to make it tomorrow, but I 'm free on ___ let's go to ___ at ____, it'll be fun" then wait for her response. It will show that you have a life of your own and are not desperately waiting for her instructions.

[lesa]

=Charlie Boy II;411763But what about my mind? I'm not just a peice of meat, you know.

She doesn't have time for stimulating conversations. She's hungry. Are you going to feed her?

That's for you to decide.

Of course I could be wrong but it does sound like it. More informaton is needed though before making that conclusion. You know what they say about assuming ? I don't want you to get slapped.

[misombra]

yeah right Misombra. If a guy cancelled on you twice in a row you'd be spewing. That's just flat-out rudeness.

if somebody wrote me messages all "misombra, this is the second time blah blah blah in some parental/ authoritative tone blah blah blah..." i wouldn't even bother with him.

[Charlie Boy II]

Yeah I think the same thing as well. Why else would she arrange these dates in the first place? I mean she actually called me on Thursday, and when I mentioned I was going to these bands on Sat night if she asked if she could come. And she actually blew off some birthday drinks she was supposed to go to the same night.

Why text me at 1am? And why send me gay little texts about what she's cooking?

I actually could be open to just sex. Probably not on an ongoing basis, but I would like to at least bone her a couple of times.

[IndiReloaded]

I tend to agree with Misombra. But I don't think CBs message was like that, it was pretty neutral but stating he was disappointed.

Geeze, so many assumptions here tho. She might have actually had a friend who was all freaked out. She might be telling the truth. And personally, I would also put a friend's need above some guy I just met. She could just be mature and genuinely sorry she had to cancel and was just trying to make everyone happy. Not enough info yet to decide, IMO.

[Charlie Boy II]

She really did have a friend over who was distraught, that was genuine.

But what was I supposed to do, reschedule the date again.

And now this new thing: some group dinner with a bunch of randoms?!

[lesa]

Yeah, I need to stop with those kind of assumptions. I definitely do not want a guy to assume that about me if that is not what I really wanted.

I always give people a benefit of the doubt. Her story of truthful unless found not to be. My issue is that she cancelled twice. Her friend was sleeping over. Would she had skipped work that day for her friend? Would she had skipped her other errands...all of them?

I don't define staying with a sad friend all day as a mature behavior. It's a very kind behavior, yes. She can't handle spending time with a man for a few hours and then meeting back with her friend? the first few dates is the only thing we can use to determine a person's character for the time being and so far she is not looking so good.

I can go on about the many ways she could have handle this situation. IMO, CB is the only one who handled it well.

She cancelled twice and then she suggest he come along with her friend. She is testing him. A very good way to find out is what Mishanya said: He should suggest another day and time and check out her reaction. That's the absolutely best way to determine more about her character.

What's important is finding more about her character.

[Charlie Boy II]

Well I just went for a run and it's cleared my head.

At this stage I'm thinking I'm not going to respond at all. Not tonight, not tomorrow. And I'm certainly not going to try and arrange another date. If she's going to pull stuff like this I don't want a part of it. Why waste all that energy.

[starbuck]

Honestly, I think it's rude behavior, too. She's kind of just letting you hang on while she flits from one activity to the next. To cancel a real date and then next suggest going out with with her and her friend? I would be put off, too.

If a guy did this to me, I would back off completely and let him come to me because at that point, he would need to take some initiative to show me that he's not a total flake. It's harder when you're the guy because you're expected to chase. But there's only a certain amount of chasing and jumping through hoops you can do.

I also think you're handling it well. Sorry to hear that she's acting like this.

[vashti]

I think you handled yourself well. I think her behavior was rude. If you are interested in taking another chance at her, you still could (I'd wait a while, though). You have established a boundary - that you aren't the kind of guy that appreciates last minute cancellations - while not being an ass about it. I think in a couple of weeks you could try asking if her life has calmed down a bit so you could get together (if you are still interested). I bet she won't cancel on you again (unless she is really not interested in having you around).

I think very attractive people are used to being able to pull off things like this and get away with it, and she just learned not everyone will tolerate it.