Is college as bad as it seems?

[MDavis454]

Neither of my parents attended a 4 year university and so to them all college is is the good times you see on TV. So i'm looking for other people's advice/input on this bullshit time of life. I moved away from the city i loved, the friends i knew the longest (i've moved 13 times in 18 years, life long friends aren't my thing), the family i just became COMPLETELY in touch with and got dumped out of nowhere by my girlfriend whom convinced me that things would be ok. I don't drink or smoke so parties kind of suck. I spend a lot of time in the dorm because in Fargo, ND there's really... nothing else to do. needless to say i hate it here. so just wondering if anyone had some advice besides my mom's "smile and life will be good" philosophy..

[doppelgaenger]

Hey man, I am a college junior in SD. So our colleges are probably very similar in curriculum and whatnot. First thing I'd say, is that if you're going to compare the real college life with the one you see on TV, yeah it's gonna suck. You should learn to differentiate reality from TV. Of course, every now and then you'll bump into a party like on TV, but since you don't like that stuff, I won't talk much about it.

Do you have any idea how many students do not smoke or drink? About half. Those are the students you won't find at parties. Y'know, when I first came to college, I didn't go to parties, I despised people who drank and did drugs, etc. After a while I tried alcohol (But never smoking) I actually ended up liking certain kinds of wine and beer. That's all I drink now. And I don't drink to get drunk; I simply enjoy high quality drinks, and drinks from different breweries. I don't advocate experimentation though. Just be careful if you end up trying things like that.

I still don't like parties very much. I've been to my fair share, and every time I go it just reminds me why I don't like to hang out with certain kinds of people. Same goes for dance clubs and bars. Besides, once you're an upperclassman, that bullshit doesn't matter anymore; you'll be so busy with your classes (Mind you, classes you actually care about and have a passion for) you won't have much time for anything else. After freshman year, most of the idiots will have dropped out. For me, most of my free time goes into my relationship with my girl. The rest I spend hanging out with the few good friends I have. My suggestion is to make some really good friends. You'll really know someone is a good friend in your heart - hang on to those ones. They will be there for the rest of your life. My best friends are all people I met when I was a freshman living in a dorm. They were all upperclassman, 2-4 years older than me. Since then we've all moved out and we all have apartments in the same complex off campus.

[MDavis454]

That's cool. I never compared it to TV, my parents did. I knew things would be different. No one in our dorm is social or keeps their doors open or anything. I spend one night at the university of north dakota and one at MN State moorhead and met more ppl there than here is like 2 months. I'm not sure of where else to go to meet people. I've never really been a part of school activities so i'm sure that'd be a good place to start. I dunno.. i was just gettin this out there cuz i like this whole forum thing and people are cool on here. easy to check between assignments too. i wanna go outside and socialize but the weather here is so shitty that is rendered impossible lol

[doppelgaenger]

Keep your door wide, ****in' open. Knock on people's doors. Bother them. Start conversations. Come on. This is how I met my friends. Start conversations in the morning with other guys while you're shaving. Play loud music just to get your neighbors to come ask you to turn it down. When they do, start a conversation. Talk to people in class. Start conversations with people on campus on your way to class or wherever.

[MVPlaya]

Davis, do you have close friends at college?

[minnie_an]

I believe u'll have some good friends too David. It took me a half year to get to know my best friends when i was freshman. We spent 4 year together at university. We used to face to problem together. They're kind, helpful and friendly, we still keep in touch even though we graduated and walk in our own way Some get married , Some are still single Some going to get married soon

[Gribble]

You need to make friends. Get involved in social activities, maybe join a club. Get out there. Meet people. Remove education from the equation and it's still a life-changing experience for most people simply for the social aspects.

[Cbrider]

College is what you make of it. You have to be proactive initially to have a good time, but once the train is rolling it doesn't stop.

[MDavis454]

I have no close friends at school. I'm rooming with a kid i knew in high school but he's not really a close friend. I've met one kid whose become a really good friend already because we both got dumped by long term girlfriends within 2 days of each other. same reason too, the lack of a reason. So that kind of opened us up. The american society for civil engineers isn't a very social club.. kind of work/career oriented. I guess i haven't been here long and probly need to just open up.. it just sucks moving away from where i had TONS of friends and an awesome gf and coming to this just kind of blows.

[Gigabitch]

You'll be okay, but it can take up to six months to really settle into a new place.

Be realistic. You're an engineering major. This brings with it a certain amount of social disability to begin with, classically. It takes a long time to make friends with engineers.

You know how to tell which ones are the extroverted ones? When they're talking, they look at YOUR shoes.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm surprised. Engineering is usually one of the schools (in science) that is more socially organized and outgoing. At my school, they had regular pub crawls and paid homage to the beer truck. They were always building stuff and pulling pranks and hacks.

Mbe you should try to attend more events in your department? There must be a board or some contact for engineering clubs at your school. NDSU has a pretty strong eng dept.

Did you go to the job fair in Sept? Those are great networking opportunities. Don't miss next years.

[Petit Papillon]

My brother graduated civil engineering after 10 years of having no life (4years high school and 6 years university) Well but now he has money to buy him back all of those years of having constantly nosebleed of lack of eating,sleeping and looking away from his books and projects
Sometimes I wish I had such strong will

[DoesntMatter]

College is amazing. The greatest place on earth

Going to college for a lot of people means going to a school where not another person from their high school went. The first week or two of freshman year meet as MANY people as you can. And throughout freshman year and all throughout college, just met a lot of people

[IndiReloaded]

Actually, chances are your opportunities for meeting people like DM mentions will never be as high. So do take advantage of it.

[cewzp4]

I suggest getting involved. I got involved with my floor government and the student council for my dorm. I met SO many people. I also got a job in one of the dining halls on campus. You just have to put yourself our there a little bit. Don't worry, you'll find your niche. :-)