did stuff with the guy on the first night- what to do?

[constance]

hey everyone,

So, I met this guy through a mutual friend through facebook. We just happen to comment on a friend's status and we just started chatting. He asked me to hang out this past Saturday and I told him that I was finally turning 21 that night. He said I HAD to come out with him to a bar then. We didnt talk for a week and I was really hesitant about going out alone with a "stranger", but I went anyways. As soon as I saw him, I felt that I was friends with him for a long time and I was immediately comfortable. He was so funny, outgoing, and just a very chill personality. We went to a bar and drank and we both got somewhat drunk. I asked him to come back to my place because I didnt want him to drive. The thing is, my intention wasnt to do anything.... I just told him to stay over because I had an extra bed and we were both drunk. He kept asking me if that was a good idea and I said why not? It's not like we're gonna be sleeping on the same bed. Little did I know....

anyways, came back to my place. We were talking for about 2-3 hours and was trying to sober up. We ended up flirting, etc. etc. and he asked me out on a date this friday. I was down for it and then we somehow ended up on my bed. We were just lying next to each other trying to sleep. One thing led to another and we were making out, cuddling, feeling each other, etc. He tried going down there with his hand, but I told him no. He said it was fine.... but then I ended up giving him a BJ (which i hate doing by the way). I was teasing him most of the time and he was realllllly into it. We both have never done anything like this, well I really havent, but we were really into each other but I didnt want to sleep with him on the first night. After he finished, I kind of just automatically cleaned myself up. I dont know if that was a good move or not.... and we tried falling asleep but couldnt. That was basically it.

Was it wrong for me to get off of the bed right after he came to clean myself up? Should I have laid there or something? I dont do this at all.... we swapped one or two texts and after that, no word from him. Is he doing the whole "dont call for 4-6 days rule" thing on me? Lost interest? Was I too easy? (although i didnt sleep with him). He asked me this weekend to on a date with him and go to his friend's bday party with him for the weekend. What to do?

[Gigabitch]

In my opinion, any guy that doesn't call you for 4-6 days after getting a blowjob is a bastard. i don't think it was a mistake to go and clean up, no, unless you were away for 20 minutes or something.

[constance]

no i wasnt away for 20 minutes, just grabbed some tissues for me and him to clean up, that's all. Just got out of a long relationship of 3 years and I dont know all the rules and what not. It was a little bit awkward when he was leaving and stuff. I dont know....?

[Gigabitch]

Well here's a rule: if somebody blows you, you should call her.

[Jas_mine]

You were hesitant about meeting a stranger but not so much about taking him back to yours - he could have been like a serial killer or a rapist or something!

I barely even kiss on the first date, sometimes not even on the second - that's true teasing honey - never give it up too quick, always send him away wanting more.

[QueenofCorona]

Hard to say in this situation not knowing him at all.

He may well be a total player and this was a normal Saturday night for him.

He may be decent/shy guy who really never does do stuff like that but assumes that you do and it meant nothing to you and is just a normal Saturday night for you.

I'm curious, are you wanting more with him? Sometimes its hard to go in reverse after you hook up first then try to date. Its never worked for me. Maybe you just have to chalk it up to a fun night that never led to anything and realize maybe you aren't the type who can just hook up without feeling regret/attachment/guilt or whatever.

If anything I guess you could maybe non-chalontly ask the mutual friend what kind of dude he really is.

[constance]

^ well our mutual friend doesnt really know that we are even talking... she just introduced us through her facebook status, but she has told me a lot of good things about him and they're very good friends. He definitely does not come off as a player, more of a decent and somewhat of a shy guy. Like i said previously, we both have never done anything like this before. I personally thought we had a good connection and we were both so comfortable with each other even though we met for the first time, which was weird. I'm curious and want to get to him more, but doing things with on the first night was most likely a mistake. That's why when he asked me out on a date, I said yes. I'm really hoping this guy isnt a douche that was just looking to just hook up.... that was not the vibe I was getting from him.

[QueenofCorona]

If thats the vibe you get then I say talk to him. Maybe tomorrow shoot him a text about something random and an ice breaker, "Happy half way to the weekend. How has your week been?" and sort of feel out the situation from there. If you are both on the same page it would be a shame to let something potentially cool slip away.

[Kaius]

i always wonder why girls give it up so easily. it's true you didnt go all the way, but you had his member in your mouth! thats pretty intimate.... do you honestly think he is ever going to respect you?

guys dont respect girls who give it up so easily. we assume you do this to everyone you meet. therefore, we cant take you seriously.

[Gribble]

Iif a girl blew me the very day I met her the only reason I'd bother calling would be for another beej.

[constance]

I know i was very oblivious and naive and stupid to get into this situation in the first place, but i really liked the guy. We were both drunk and we just got ourselves in the mood..... i JUST got out of a long term relationship and never ever done this before. Man, this sucks... cus i really wanted to get to know him But i guess what happened, happened and i have to move on. Damn.

[asdfg789]

Man, this sucks... cus i really wanted to get to know him But i guess what happened, happened and i have to move on. Damn.

I think everyone pretty much agreed that giving a blow job on first night was a mistake and you realize it too.

All is not lost. Since he has invited you on another date, you have a chance to show him the person that you are.
You may want to hold back on the intimacy (may be the drinks as well) and make it known to him directly or indirectly that what happened is not the norm for you.
Indicate your interest but also that you want to take it slowly.

Get to know each other better. Who knows? It may still work out. Good luck !

[constance]

^ Yeah I really hope so! Hopefully the date works out and the same mistake wont happen again.

Thanks for the responses everyone!

[asdfg789]

Hopefully the date works out and the same mistake wont happen again.

Errr ... how about "i'll MAKE SURE the same mistake wont happen again"

By the way, Los Angeles, Canada ??

[constance]

i will make SURE that the same mistake wont happen again! i meant hopefully the date happens and goes well lol, thanks for pointing that out.

Los Angeles. I dont know why i have the canadian flag....? nvm, just fixed it. I thought it was asking me what state I was from and I put CA.