Here we go again!!

[lister79]

Well it really has been a rollercoaster of a ride. I'll start by saying I've been no angel, but then neither has she.....I haven't cheated and never would but alcohol has been my demon for many years. I've said and done things I hate about myself and vowed months ago I'd never drink another drop again and I've stuck to it. However, she has made her vows and not really stuck to them.

This is the last chapter I feel in this relationship now as I simply can't go on with it like this anymore.

We have really shown that we can work through the toughest of times BUT they have been tough. Now it transpires they only got that much more tougher as her friend, lets call her Lisa, has made them tougher.

This viles individual has influenced my gf at every step and has drained me to the core.

Latest is that she fell out with Lisa because Lisa had a go at her for no reason, and I mean no reason. They are doing a diet thing which Lisa's brother is a rep for herbal life. She went around for a weigh in and it all kicked off. Accused her of not being there for her, when my gf is always there for her, that she said Oh now things are fine with you and him your not there for me...etc etc etc. Obviously my gf was upset and against my own hatred for this girl I consoled my gf as its her friend. Then I learnt a new truth...

We had an issue a month ago and my gf ended out telling her brther and parents everything and anything I had done in the negative sense. I found that odd as if you wanted to continue a relationship as she said she did, you wouldn't tell your closest everything. I know I don't as I wouldn't want them thinking anything bad about her for the sake of making life easier for us both and ultimatley it didn't concern them. Turns out this Lisa got in contact with my gf's brother on facebook and told him everything, plus other shit I am not...made out like she was too scared etc to tell anyone, made me out to be some sort of abuser!!! which I'm bloody well not!

I can't handle this woman/child being in our relationship anymore. I told my gf she cannot divulge our relationship to her anymore, she's dangerous and unstable. I said I'd never stop her being friends with anyone, but information wise, she must respect our/my privacy. This girl even stated to her say well done to him as he has won!...won what, I didn't do anything! she had a go at her and i'm in the fireing line.. I am concerned that my gf seems to think the worst Lisa has done is have a go at her on friday night yet myself, I feel that gong behind her back talking to her brother is the worst. She had no right. That decision should have been upto my gf, no one else...not mine or anyone else. They've made up which I fully expected but when I raised the issue about she needs to stop telling her everything about us, including (the most annoying thing) FORWARDING all my texts onto her friend, which I think is disrespectfull and wrong. A good friend of mine has met my gf and knows whats gone on, quotes "her problem is she listens to the last thing she was told by the last person" and unfortunately its always this vile lisa.

I've posted about our issues before, and if you can be bothered you'll learn more of this lisa character from then. Also of late, I found out she was sectioned at 16....joins the dots for me, but why oh why can't my gf see this for what it really is. She has some really great normal decent friends, why can't she be closest to them not this inteferring, jealous, vile child.


I DO NOT want to give an ultimatum of her or me as that is jsut not fair, but I can't have this third person in my life/relationship anymore...I don't have the strength.


What should I do?

[michelle23]

I think you could try relationship counselling. Talk this all out on neutral ground and commit to making a go of it without getting others involved.

Your gf prob thinks Lisa has been there through everything. Maybe she was the only person she could confide in while you were drinking. And if she was her rock during hard times-its understandable why Lisa is against you.

Your gf needs to tell Lisa that she told her all that stuff in confidence and expects her to keep it to herself. She should also make it clear that you are not this monster she has made you out to be. She was just venting on a bad day and she should tell her why she loves you.

[Wakeup]

However, she has made her vows and not really stuck to them.

What vows isn't she keeping, Lister?

[Boisdevie]

As someone who was very close to being an alcoholic I'd just say well done for stopping the booze. Whatever else happens, whatever stresses this situation puts you in don't reach for the bottle. It's not an answer

Oh, and I was dumped by my ex GF because I was alcohol dependent and lied about it so been there, got the T shirt.