he left me hangin....

[Sickandtired13]

hi everyone I have known & loved this man for 3 years. We were together for 2 years when I found out that he had cheated on me for about 6 months. I immediately broke up with him and cut him off. I literally did not talk to him for seven whole months, ignoring his phone calls and emails. during these 7 months I dated other people but nothing felt right. After the 7 month I happened to speak to his son, who is 12, and felt that I really needed to talk to his dad and give him a chance to at least speak to me as he had reached out plenty of times.

now, when I went and called his dad he immediately called me back and we scheduled a meeting for that same day. He proceeded to tell me that he missed me and loved me and wanted nothing more in the world then to get back with me. There was only one thing, that he was living with the girl he cheated on me with. I immediately ended the date and told him that he can go shove it because I was hurt. he chased me out and explained to me that if I was willing to work on it he would kick her out because he was no longer happy. They had actually been living as roommates for the last month, in separate rooms as Ive confirmed with his sister, but still in the same household. I told him that once edhe got his situation handled he was more than welcome to call me and we could try to work things out.

now during this time I found out that I was going to be having to move an hour away for school purposes. I let him know this, telling him that I would be moving but we would make it work since it was only an hour away. He immediately said that he was moving with me he wasn't going to let me go again he would find a job here and all of that. we looked for places and finally settled on getting an apartment as opposed to a house because it was more affordable and seeing as it was only going to be a year before we move back. I had to sign a lease by myself because he has bad credit and would have required a hefty security deposit. The day after signing the lease this man tells me that he is unsure as to whether he wants to move because of a simple argument we had about that said female calling his phone.

now this is after I've signed the lease and I cannot back out of this lease so I am now having a 3 bedroom apartment because we got extra rooms because of his son living with us full time and I am expected to cover the expenses for this 3 bedroom apartment by myself. I let him know that I was very upset and that we cannot be together if this is his decision. He is acting like he doesn't understand why I'm mad saying that we can still be together he just wants to slow things down. I totally understand where he's coming from with slow it down because I've told him this for the past 2 months that he did not have to move with me because it was moving kind a fact but he assured me that this is what he wants. Now after I am in this commitment he is backing out and I let him know the reason I don't want to be with him is because I would not want a man who would put me in this situation. Now he says that he will help but being reasonable I know that he will not be able to he has to get his own place he has a car payment he has a son so realistically he will not be able to help me with my bills.

am I overreacting in not wanting to be with him because of him deciding to slow things down and back out on this move? I think not just because of the situation. if we he would have let me know before the lease was signed I would have been fine to working things out but seeing as he's going to leave me in this predicament I feel like my man should not do that to me.

any input would be greatly if we appreciate it thank you

[TablesandChairs]

Putting you in a predicament that you can't afford but can't cancel out of is an asshole thing to do. He knew this would be the case but he let you do it anyway. Ouch.

Also, you've been foolish to rush into anything with this man...even if he suggested moving in together, you should have said 'no, lets take things slow'. But that's done now.

I wouldn't really be giving him any third chances but it's up to you...he sounds like a flake to me...likes the chase, not the commitment, perhaps.

[Boisdevie]

am I overreacting in not wanting to be with him because of him deciding to slow things down and back out on this move? I think not just because of the situation. if we he would have let me know before the lease was signed I would have been fine to working things out but seeing as he's going to leave me in this predicament I feel like my man should not do that to me.

any input would be greatly if we appreciate it thank you

I am amazed at the fact that you would even consider getting an apartment with a guy that cheated on you. Don't you have any self respect? The guy is an arse, that much is clear but you only have yourself to blame for your poor decisionmaking.
If somebody cheated on me and they were on fire I would not even cross the street to piss on them.

[4 ratties]

You must be really forgiving. He didnt just cheat once or twice, he cheated for 6 months! Half of a year! And u wanna live with him now? You should of put him on the lease. It's not your problem he has bad credit. I would of told him you'd only get a place if he paid the deposit and was on the lease. Hopefully it was just a lesson learned. Nothing u can do now. And yes u have a right to think he's an asshole now for leaving u to pay all the bills and cheating on you for 6 months..