drugs and guys

[sfalexi]

Halfway house is for second chances in life....YALL GIVE HIM THAT FU**IN CHANCE!!!!! I DONT CARE WHAT THE RELAPSE RATE IS. Maybe 90% of them relapse because too many people will always consider them worthless. Adolf Hitler never did a drug in his life, other than alcohol......Lets not forget the chance a totally clean person could get into it too or even worse....traffic and use it. "RISKS" are there regardless of what is chosen anyway you look at it. As for degree of risks, sometimes the most challenging of things are better to do first. Because then it is out of your way the rest of your life.............................................. .

That could be your view on things. Let's think up a good analogy to make it more relevant TO YOU since you're not the person dating and therefore not the person risking their relationship and possible more (as I said the guy my ex dated ended up beating up his friend's mother after stealing jewelry from her for the drugs) . . .

Hmmmm. Allright. You go to a bar. You see ten beatiful women. Each one stunning. But you know the one all the way to the left is a known and convicted psycho. She now takes pills to keep her rages down, but if she misses a dosage, watch out. Do you go for her, opting to trust that she'll continue surpressing her rage for the rest of her natural life, or for one of the other nine?

Keep in mind that the girl above is not OBLIGATED to date this man. Sure she's interested in him, but if she goes out to a club/bar/concert/fair/etc. she's bound to meet other guys that will interest her as well. And the chances of them being an ex-heroin addict are slim (not too many ex-heroin people around. Most either are, or never were). And also keep in mind that a heroin addiction is HARDER to surpress than a one pill a day rage, and the effects of a relapse potentially more dangerous than a large temper tantrum.

There's no reason for you to be involved with him. If you had a son/daughter together, I can see having to be involved. I say stay away and maybe not now, but years down the road you could hear about him being back in jail for drugs and the beating of his girlfriend and say, "Wow. I'm glad I didn't get involved."

Alexi

[sfalexi]

Also, to address your "risks" issue, yes. The risks ARE there. So are the risks of your partner cruelly hacking off your body parts and eating them. But the risks of that are very small. And so are the risks of a normal, drugfree person getting into using or trafficing heroin. The risks of an ex-heroin user getting BACK into it are much much higher. So, as most decisions probably SHOULD be made in life, go with the lesser risk.

Alexi

[busgirl]

thanks for the input guys. i just think that maybe if i were in his shoes and were a former addict, i would hate for everybody i encountered to have already given up on me. i understand the thing about all the excess baggage and the risks, so maybe i should just remain his friend, and that would be best. it just seems unfair to deem someone undateable because of what he used to do. it took a lot for him to quit, i find that admirable. but the relapse thing..... is a bit unnerving.

[sfalexi]

He made the choice to get into drugs and now has to deal with the consequences. And having a harder time to get into a relatoinship is one of those consequences. I do know personally a few couples in which BOTH partners are ex-drug users. This seems to work out well in the case that they keep tabs on each other to make sure the OTHER one doesn't go back, and also that they simply can't judge each other because they've both been there.

As for myself, I don't want anyone with baggage. I don't have any severe baggage of my own and so I feel I deserve the same when getting into a relationship.

Alexi

Alexi

[oneeyemonkeypie]

@pretender-serious problems with drugs NEVER go away huh? so if someone does cocaine, they will never ever stop and do it forever until they die. and all the recovered addicts that lead good lives now dont exist.

i know where you're coming from, but dont use words like never or always unless its absolutely true.

[Pretender]

oneeyemonkeypie little fellar they do NEVER go away. A recovering addict will NEVER be completely free from the drug of choice EVER. He/she will have to battle with the temptation of just one more hit every morning they wake up.

Now I never said they can't lead good lives you put words in my mouth and didn't listen to my advice. They can be the best of people they can be the worst of people it all depends on the person and situation. I never said they will do it til they die either? Where are you getting this?

It is absolutely true that a former addict will NEVER be free from the drug it's something he/she will deal with FOREVER.

[dragoon]

Lets not forget the chance a totally clean person could get into it too or even worse....traffic and use it. "RISKS" are there regardless of what is chosen anyway you look at it. As for degree of risks, sometimes the most challenging of things are better to do first. Because then it is out of your way the rest of your life.............................................. .

Are you actually trying to suggest the risk of getting in an accident while driving equal the risks of a user relapsing? Let's also not forget that the user had to make this life destroying, self loathing choice. If they choose to do a drug like heroin, they've got problems. Enough problems to suggest a serious relationship is a really bad idea. The clean person merely chose to go about their lives using our traffic system...

[sfalexi]

"traffic" in this case means to deal the drugs. "Drug trafficing" (much like the movie entitled "traffic"

Alexi

[dragoon]

Ah, gotcha. Well whatever. The day my clean girlfriend starts using heavy drugs is the day I'm single then.