Are women more socially developed? Or are men underdeveloped?

[DarkAzrael]

Is there some secret way to avoid the awkward silences, the annoyed sigh/glare (or worse, the walk-away-without-a-word) and to get a strange women open and interested?

They're called roofies.... :-D

[Cyanosphere]

Not ALL chicks go to bars with the mind to get laid, who's to say they are not there just to enjoy a jolly old drink with their girlfriends? I met 2 of my past boyfriend in bars ( and I no I was not looking for a quick lay) and both relationships lasted quite long (what I mean is they were lovely guys, and they were not hunting me down for sex only).

Thanks, I totally agree.

Like I said, I don't understand how or why people say "bars are terrible places to meet women" or "bars are full of skanks and losers." I just don't understand how they come to that conclusion.

[Cyanosphere]

i think i have a tip that might help. my sister was telling me the other day that when her and her bf go out with their single male friends, having a girl in their group makes the girls A LOT friendlier and open to having a conversation with the singles in the group. so if you bring a girl or two with you, just casual friends, and you all look like you are just there having a good time and relaxing, then if you try to strike up a conversation the other girls will know you are not just there specifically looking for a lay, but are out having a good time just like them. and the fact that you already have females for friends shows that you are not some weird pervert. hope this helps and good luck :-)

That's good advice. Problem only is, I really don't have any female friends. I know some female acquaintances (girls who work in places I frequent) but not real female friends. All my friends are guys.

Is there anyway I can get these female acquaintances to hang out with me and make it seem like I'm not asking them out?

[NeoSeminole]

lostinconfusion says:

"i think i have a tip that might help. my sister was telling me the other day that when her and her bf go out with their single male friends, having a girl in their group makes the girls A LOT friendlier and open to having a conversation with the singles in the group. so if you bring a girl or two with you, just casual friends, and you all look like you are just there having a good time and relaxing, then if you try to strike up a conversation the other girls will know you are not just there specifically looking for a lay, but are out having a good time just like them. and the fact that you already have females for friends shows that you are not some weird pervert. hope this helps and good luck"

this is called "social proof" and guys who are successful with women use it to their advantage. Look it up.

[tooxshort]

Is this really what you meant to type? Are you saying that in order to better meet women in bars, I have to get completely wasted?

No no ... Sorry. I meant that there are also shy guys at bars that need to be a bit inebriated to build the courage to approach women. What I meant by developing sparks more easily was that they have less inhibitions and are not trying as hard to impress a female as a sober, anxious ridden fellow would. Hope that clears it up somewhat.

A little drink might help to loosen you up and start feeling the vibe of your environment ...

uhh, how is that all good? That kinda sucks (for me atleast)


How could they possibly know that? They don't know anything about me.

So what do I have to do to succeed in the bar scene?

Yeah, I meant it's all good for them ...

The approach is key ... If your approach is weak right off the bat (and it's coupled with your non-supermodel look), then you may have no shot from the getgo. Appearance is definitely a big thing ... unless your oozing with confidence, your appearance will make a huge difference ... your body language and your verbal approach are being judged and it's a really quick process ... that old cliche of only having one shot at a first impression is true ... No one can really help you there unfortunately ... Just try not to have the look of desperation ...

Groups are helpful ... being around a circle of friends allows you to stand out within the group! I've met quite a few by just being funny and a female just happens to be sidebusting on our conversation ... she laughs and I know I can take advantage of any opening. I guess I can't really give advice on approaching women because I've usually been more successful acting aloof. I think acting as if you don't give a shit scores you more points ...

Does that make sense? Excuse me ... I'm half-monitoring my baby daughter and half-trying to type this out quietly ... Haha.

Damn, where's Neo?

[Edit: Oh nvm ... There he is!]

[tooxshort]

Not ALL chicks go to bars with the mind to get laid, who's to say they are not there just to enjoy a jolly old drink with their girlfriends?

Yeah and I would think that during times like those, they aren't in the mood to deal with guys hitting on them, thus another reason why dude is getting rejected.

[IndiReloaded]

Bars and clubs tend to select for a certain personality. Or at least select against one: quiet, introverted sorts who might tend to be more thoughtful.

I remember being horribly overwhelmed in clubs. And getting hit on by strange men was just creepy. I was rather scared once by a particularly aggressive guy. There is a reason women develop an 'outer bitch', and I never learned how. Fortunately my male friend, who went to the restroom, came back and rescued me. Clubs are a mob scene. The music and dancing was fun a few times as a teenager, but I stopped going once in college.

What about meetup.com?

[Cyanosphere]

Bars and clubs tend to select for a certain personality. Or at least select against one: quiet, introverted sorts who might tend to be more thoughtful.

I remember being horribly overwhelmed in clubs. And getting hit on by strange men was just creepy. I was rather scared once by a particularly aggressive guy. There is a reason women develop an 'outer bitch', and I never learned how. Fortunately my male friend, who went to the restroom, came back and rescued me. Clubs are a mob scene. The music and dancing was fun a few times as a teenager, but I stopped going once in college.

What about meetup.com?

Because young, attractive college girls don't use online dating. They do, however, go to bars and clubs.

I'm normally the quiet, introverted sort, which is why, like I said, I have to "force myself" to become talkative and social with people I don't know.

But I guess my introductions come off as forced, uncomfortable or awkward.

Which is why I asked, what can I do to become more comfortable and smoother around women in bars?

[Gigabitch]

Drink more. Work in a bar. Find a wingman you can trust.

[IndiReloaded]

Because young, attractive college girls don't use online dating. They do, however, go to bars and clubs.

meetup.com is not online dating service. Watch out for your tendency to dismiss ideas before you even understand them, its a bad habit to develop.

[url]http://www.meetup.com/[/url]