Frustrated with 'friend' ... Opinions please

[Gratedwasabi]

You just confirmed my initial thoughts on you man. I still appreciate it though. I asked for opinions, I got them.

Okay, let me set ya straight here.

I've been where you are.. and probably 9 out of 10 guys on these boards have been. I'm trying to help you from experience. It's not even an opinion, it's clarifying the situation from your post. Maybe you mistyped or misconstrued it, but from what you wrote you, twice, tried to approach her for more than friendship and she, twice, flat-out, no question rejected you.

I'm sorry if you can't handle a term like "Tap that" used jokingly. Really, I am. Maybe if you showed half the backbone to her that you did to some random dude on the internet, you wouldn't be getting used by her.

The fact is I'm more experienced than you and I was trying to help you. I've been where you are. The difference? When I sniveled like a bitch to people, and god knows I did, I didn't ****ing complain about the terms they used when they tried to help me.

*edit* Except I never pursued girls with boyfriends.. glad you could teach ME some class, bud.

[confused2207]

Not telling him what he wants to hear, Wasabi. Tho I agree 'tap that' was kinda crude. Shrug. In any case, I agree with you and the OP doesn't seem to realize I'm female...

No actually your post is the one that makes the most sense to me. I think I'm a constant '2nd best.' Or backup plan. Thats what I've thought for awhile. It just seemed to me like with the recent change in the way things have gone maybe something had changed. I guess not. That is completely fine with me except I would like to stop getting the 'maybe you should invite me to your house sometime and we'd see each other more' or her txt- "what are you doing' me-'sitting on the porch watchin the sun set' her-'wish I was there with you'

That stuff just plays with my head. I think she knows it to be honest.

[confused2207]

Okay, let me set ya straight here.

I've been where you are.. and probably 9 out of 10 guys on these boards have been. I'm trying to help you from experience. It's not even an opinion, it's clarifying the situation from your post. Maybe you mistyped or misconstrued it, but from what you wrote you, twice, tried to approach her for more than friendship and she, twice, flat-out, no question rejected you.

I'm sorry if you can't handle a term like "Tap that" used jokingly. Really, I am. Maybe if you showed half the backbone to her that you did to some random dude on the internet, you wouldn't be getting used by her.

The fact is I'm more experienced than you and I was trying to help you. I've been where you are. The difference? When I sniveled like a bitch to people, and god knows I did, I didn't ****ing complain about the terms they used when they tried to help me.

You misunderstood the situation from the start. There was about a 3 to 4 week period there where we 'talked.' Went to a few parties together. Hung out at her place multiple times. Spent the night in her car together... That was when I heard the 'you're what I'm looking for' BS.

After the bf and she worked things out was when pulled out those lines about being a friend. Then I walked away for awhile, and she came back to me. And recently all those comments from her.

Maybe all that makes a difference. Maybe it doesn't.

[IndiReloaded]

That stuff just plays with my head. I think she knows it to be honest.

Yes, exactly, she shouldn't be saying these thing.

As a female who has been on the opposite side of this experience, I will tell you that if she was REALLY your friend she would stop screwing w/your head. She knows you like her, women can sense this stuff and you haven't been at all subtle. So, its very cruel of her to be keeping you on the line this way. Selfish on her part. I have a friend who I backed way off from when things were getting weird. For his sake (mine too); it hurt me like hell to do it b/c I really do care about him. But he got a GF and our friendship became more normal after that.

Real friends take care of each others feelings. She's not looking after yours. Its all about her. Think about this.

[Gratedwasabi]

You misunderstood the situation from the start. There was about a 3 to 4 week period there where we 'talked.' Went to a few parties together. Hung out at her place multiple times. Spent the night in her car together... That was when I heard the 'you're what I'm looking for' BS.

After the bf and she worked things out was when pulled out those lines about being a friend. Then I walked away for awhile, and she came back to me. And recently all those comments from her.

Maybe all that makes a difference. Maybe it doesn't.

Did you guys do anything intimate during those occasions? As in kissing or sexual. If not, I perfectly understood it. Been there.

And did you really walk away? Think about it. She gives you a compliment and you get giddy. She's playing you because you AREN'T walking away. I know you're probably trying but somewhere in you you're hoping she comes around to you. Am I wrong? You need to eliminate that feeling and harden down that even if she DID, she had her chance and now you don't want her. She's manipulating you.

[MerryH]

And Merry how does that conversation sound like she's trying to permanently shut me down. She basically unprompted complimented me in about three ways.

When the subject of her dating you came up, she said, "don't get any crazy ideas," meaning the idea of dating you is crazy and you should not entertain that idea. It's a pretty clear preemptive rejection. Nothing else she said matters.

I wasn't the one who chased anything...

You are, though, because you're still talking to her when you know damn well you don't want to just be friends with her. You might feel like she's chasing you, but if you're letting her, then you're just as guilty of it.

[confused2207]

When the subject of her dating you came up, she said, "don't get any crazy ideas," meaning the idea of dating you is crazy and you should not entertain that idea. It's a pretty clear preemptive rejection. Nothing else she said matters.



You are, though, because you're still talking to her when you know damn well you don't want to just be friends with her. You might feel like she's chasing you, but if you're letting her, then you're just as guilty of it.

Our conversations are usually VERY sarcastic, and she followed it up with 'sometimes you're more blonde than me' which I took as sometimes you don't see whats in front of you, but I suppose could also mean sometimes you have stupid ideas.

All in all these last three ^ comments makes a lot of sense to me tho.