Best friend is creating drift between me and my fiance

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You need to stop worrying about who is the bad guy. You feel she is creating a rift(yes, it is a rift, not a drift) between you and your fiance. You can either crush her with the atomic bomb and end this thing right now, or you can continue fighting a battle of attrition. You might have to be the bad guy if you want to get through this. You need to do something about it, or quit bitching and learn to enjoy it. When is your wedding date?

[mysteriouseyes]

I think he is right on his place because sometime we donot communicate about our weekend plans and at that he dont even know if something. So giving ball in my lap wouldbe better option rather than he planning something with her. Its not about being controlling or dominating, atleast she should know he won't plan anything without asking me. Normally she goes ahead with plan without my consent. I have cancelled my movie plans, dinner dates many time due to this.

[mysteriouseyes]

You need to stop worrying about who is the bad guy. You feel she is creating a rift(yes, it is a rift, not a drift) between you and your fiance. You can either crush her with the atomic bomb and end this thing right now, or you can continue fighting a battle of attrition. You might have to be the bad guy if you want to get through this. You need to do something about it, or quit bitching and learn to enjoy it. When is your wedding date?

I agree with you and I know I have to work on this. I am not worrying about being bad guy. Any guy will raise his eyebrow when his fiancee would ask him to break all kind of connections from his close girl friend(classmate). We are planning to get married sometime next year.

[michelle23]

Tell your fiance that you dont want to be friends with this girl anymore and get her out of your lives. She wants him for herself and you need to get rid of her. You should also tell her to stop texting/ringing him. It is inappropriate and you dont like it and if she does it again-block the bitch from his phone.

If he refuses to stop spending time with her-id dump his ass. She has a hidden agenda and he should put you first.

[TablesandChairs]

He's clearly enjoying the attention; why else would he want to spend so much time with this desperate woman? I have plenty of married/engaged male friends; at no point do I get 'too' friendly because I understand boundaries. Plus she's dictating how you spend your free time? Seriously? She stays with your fiancee until midnight even when you've gone to bed? Not appropriate.

It's not all her fault, though - he's a willing party in this and don't kid yourself, he's not oblivious to the fact that she likes him a bit too much.
He needs to tell her to back off. If he doesn't want to do it directly, he can start being extra affectionate to you while she's around. OR if she invites him somewhere, he can say 'Oh I'm spending tonight doing something special with my fiancee'. She needs to get the message and thus far he has done everything to give her the opposite message.

[michelle23]

Are you sure you can trust him OP? Are you sure he doesnt have feelings for her? Something may have already happened. Im not trying to make you paranoid but keep your eyes wide open-thats all im saying and if hes not willing to get rid of her-you get rid of him.

[mysteriouseyes]

Are you sure you can trust him OP? Are you sure he doesnt have feelings for her? Something may have already happened. Im not trying to make you paranoid but keep your eyes wide open-thats all im saying and if hes not willing to get rid of her-you get rid of him.

Yes Michelle..I trust him..otherwise I was not going to be upset like this. I am just afraid with these things happening around, these might affect my relationship with him. It is in human nature that when you see something exciting your mind and heart follows it. Even though we are together and love each other, these kind of incidents can make your guy to stray. I know he is very friendly person and broad minded. He treats all friends in similar manner. he have many girl friends(classmates) and we all hang out together till late night. I never suspected anything like with any other girl. This is the first time i am getting alarms.

[mysteriouseyes]

He's clearly enjoying the attention; why else would he want to spend so much time with this desperate woman? I have plenty of married/engaged male friends; at no point do I get 'too' friendly because I understand boundaries. Plus she's dictating how you spend your free time? Seriously? She stays with your fiancee until midnight even when you've gone to bed? Not appropriate.

It's not all her fault, though - he's a willing party in this and don't kid yourself, he's not oblivious to the fact that she likes him a bit too much.
He needs to tell her to back off. If he doesn't want to do it directly, he can start being extra affectionate to you while she's around. OR if she invites him somewhere, he can say 'Oh I'm spending tonight doing something special with my fiancee'. She needs to get the message and thus far he has done everything to give her the opposite message.

I understand what you are saying. I agree in a sense that he is very friendly and broad minded. But when it comes to our relationship, he will never do anything that will hurt me in any way. I trust him and i have complete faith in him.

[michelle23]

Well you need to take a stand and dont back down here. Either she goes or you do coz you know its a red flag and a threat.

And nothing or noone can lead your man to stray. If he crosses a line-its HIS fault and he cant use any excuses and you dont make any for him.

You just wave goodbye and say its your loss mate!

[smackie9]

It sounds to me that you have let this go on for so long that he doesn't seem to think it's that bad of a thing then. Letting things slide ( seems to be a part of your personality) like that means he's going to take advantage of you in all aspects of your relationship. Just step up and tell him he needs participate dealing with this and so far his solution to this is not adequate.

[mysteriouseyes]

It sounds to me that you have let this go on for so long that he doesn't seem to think it's that bad of a thing then. Letting things slide ( seems to be a part of your personality) like that means he's going to take advantage of you in all aspects of your relationship. Just step up and tell him he needs participate dealing with this and so far his solution to this is not adequate.

Hmm you are right I am very much lenient in term of relationship. Well i gave my decision to him to spend weekend with me alone and in case she is asking him to spend weekend(if he is at work), he will tell her to ask me. I also discussed about him being over friendly and he said he will keep it in mind.

[Starnique]

It's nothing else we can tell you honey. Whats the big deal? Put the bitch in her place and forget about her.

[smackie9]

Hmm you are right I am very much lenient in term of relationship. Well i gave my decision to him to spend weekend with me alone and in case she is asking him to spend weekend(if he is at work), he will tell her to ask me. I also discussed about him being over friendly and he said he will keep it in mind.

He needs to TELL HER HIMSELF! Tell him that he needs to tell her that he wants to spend a weekend with the love of his life and not with her.

[michelle23]

You are being too passive OP. id be causing murder over this if he was being all laid back and saying "shes just a friend" in fact id already be gone and looking for a new fiance. Grow a backbone

Tell him he either tells her to stay the f**k away from him or your finished and mean it.