Relationship Woes -- Need Guidance

[shh!]

Aww, whaywardj - don't confine yourself to the internet! When you feel ready, get OUT there! (And I highly approve of your stomping grounds.) But yeah, I sympathize with the disinterest in the dating world; I never did learn to enjoy it. I always felt like I was auditioning for a part I wasn't sure I wanted.

[whaywardj]

LOL! Really, shh!. Pricey, too. And remember where I'm presently located: Birmingham, AL. There aren't many HERE with whom I much CARE to socialize! I'll, probably, head back to San Francisco after a few months. Although, that feels like a step backwards. And my all-time best friend there is moving his family to China tomorrow, anyway. Barcelona comes to mind in a strong way. Love that city. I'm gonna just chill and feel out what my spirit's trying to tell me before I make any kind of move.

[whaywardj]

Oh, yeah. The "count the stars" crap was a dead give-away. I wouldn't have said anything. I'd've just given him my best "You-can't-be-that-stupid-or-believe-I am" stare.

[shh!]

LOL! Really, shh!. Pricey, too. And remember where I'm presently located: Birmingham, AL. There aren't many HERE with whom I much CARE to socialize! I'll, probably, head back to San Francisco after a few months. Although, that feels like step backwards. And my all-time best friend there is moving his family to China tomorrow, anyway. Barcelona comes to mind in a strong way. Love that city. I'm gonna just chill and feel out what my spirit's trying to tell me before I make any kind of move.

Birmingham, Alabama... yeah, I forgot about that. Point taken, and San Fransisco is a great city! I would never consider that to be a step backwards! I wouldn't know about Barcelona; I've never been.
:-(

[DustInTheWind]

Hi Shh! and Whay,

Looks like you two are having a really interesting conversation without me today. How are you two?

I received a short email from him today. Here's what he has to say:

Honey,

I have written you many emails. Haven't you received any of them? I do not understand! Please forgive me for not calling you. My kids are practically clinging on to me on a 24 hour basis, so I could not find any private moment to make a call. You are not the only person I do not call. None of my friends who live locally here get a visit or call from me either, so please try to understand and forgive me. Take care!

Paul

He lies. His last email to me was Friday and I know I sent him two messages after that stating my concerns and no response until today. From the tone of this email, it seems like he wants the email to be quick and done with. You know like he's sneaking around to write this email to me. LoLz
He used to write me long and elaborate emails detailing out future together. *Roll eyes*

After reading the above, I decided I'm not going to write back to him and I didn't. I'm just going to wait and see if he will ring me up again once he returns back to Africa and then I'll just tell him off. I think I feel better now that I received that email from him and by not responding back, I feel more in control. This is the first step to closure or it could be closure itself.

Shh!, you asked what field of study I want to get in to, well, eventually, I want to practice medicine, preferably general practice. I know there is a greater need for general practitioners than specialists and at my age, I can't afford to spend long years of residency. I'm still at the very basic stage in my endeavor.

Crushes on the professors? LoLz Too many to name. But woe me, they're all married or attached!

Whay, I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out for you and the girl. Some things happened for a reason and we may never know that reason but at least you know where you stand.

[Prodigal]

Dust,

I'm really glad to see that you are standing up for yourself. Sometimes it takes a situation like this to stand on your feet and fight. I tend to think that the best things come when you don't expect it... and now, with the confidence you've built in yourself (not taking crap, not being so believing, and going with what YOU feel), I think you have a greater chance at something much better. If not a true relationship, then at least you have inner strength. And that's something that's hard to take away. The only repercussion to keep in mind is that if something strange DOES happen in a future relationship, you may jump to conclusions too quickly.

Whay,

So you're a writer? I'm interested in what genre you write. I've gotten much more into reading lately (albeit I read classics... until they run out. You know, Bronte, Austen, Wilde, etc). Have you ever considered Europe? Maybe Germany. I've heard that in Europe, people are still appreciative of the arts. It's hard to imagine a good opera or piano concierto here in America these days... but in Europe, a friend of mine who has been there several times tells me that these are still popular events. Depending on the environment you like to be in to be in a writing mood... Europe may be a possibility for you.

[whaywardj]

Dust:

Good for you. Yeah, I was so taken aback by (what I felt was) the smarmy quality of your 'friend's' "stars" line, I had to say something to somebody! Forgive me for referring to your experience behind your back. At least, I wasn't talkiing about you behind your back! ;-) Sounds as if you've got your head on real straight around the matter. And sounds as if your instincts are doing you well. Congrats! As to the demise of my relationship, I can only have compassion for her inability to NOT operate from a center of guilt. That's what I was trying to help her through by staying around so long. I figured, if she could let go of her guilt, she'd open like a blossom. But she couldn't let go. So I had to.

Prod:

Writing. Eww. Ah, hell. As you might expect if you know anything at all about writers, I've got this love-hate thing going on around writing. That's a pedestrian circumstance, of course. The kicker is that I got teased early on. My fiction was first published when I was 17. When I hit 20, it dawned me, "Shit. I'm too damned young and dumb too know anything worth writing fiction over. I need to get some experience." So, I sat fiction down to go out and get some. (Little did I know what I was getting myself into!) I veered off into freelance magazine/newspaper articles and photography for a decade or so. Then I made hard right turn into technical writing for a couple of decades. (Anything to avoid doing the job of facing myself to do the work of fiction writing.)

So now, having got my experience and seeing I was in avoidance mode for a bunch of years, I'm focusing on the fiction again...in fits and starts. Kind of like the adage about youth: When you have it, you don't know what to do with it. When you know what to do with it, you don't have it. Re-activacting the craft isn't easy. So, I'm starting out again with short-stories/novellas. There's a couple of first drafts here, if you're interested: [url]http://niteflights.cx.la[/url]. Several more I'm working one silmultaineously are in the pipe. Been at it full-time for just over a year now. (Read: "no 'job'; no income.")

[DustInTheWind]

Prodigal,

Are you who I think you are? Hmmm

Yah, I feel good today. I have a four day weekend off. Days like this doesn’t come often so I’m taking full advantage of it…by not doing anything and just lounging around and enjoying the beautiful weather we have here.

Recalling all those crass lines he threw at me, he told me one that I thought was just so utterly unbelievable--but then with a man as smooth as him, you can’t help but fall each time. One night as we were phoning, he made me promised him that I will not leave him because if I did then he will subject himself to the Buddhist temple. LoLz

I have to admit, I miss him very much, not for his money or his physical being but for the little gestures that he extended. For example, on the morning of his departure, we came back from eating breakfast and while in the car as he was driving, he reached over and coupled my hand and said, “I miss you already.” Awww-that line made me shed a few tears and it still does when I reflect on it. Some men just really know how to toy with a woman’s heart and emotion.

Whay,

No, I don’t mind if you shared my story with someone. I believe that experiences, whether good or bad are meant to be shared. The goods, we should cherish and lock them in our hearts as treasured memories. The bad, we hope to learn from. In a way, I’m glad to have met this man. My chance encounter with him had taught me a valuable lesson, that I need to safeguard my heart better next time. Getting a I’m-breaking-up-with-you silence is part of life, it’s inevitable, something that we have no control over. I also believe that every person we meet help shape who we are.

I’ll have to read your writings when I can get a quiet moment. Thank you for sharing.