Does LOVE conquer all?

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23-05-11, 07:54 PM
onelove

Does LOVE conquer all?

Hi,

I’m currently in serious relationship with a girl that does not live with me. She is such a wonderful person and i truly love her. Recently we have been discussing getting married, moving in together and starting a family. It appears that she is quite particular about the type of accommodation we live in (e.g up market). She is currently working but doesn't want to when we're together because she's looking to focus on raising a family. The problem is my present income isn’t sufficient enough to get the type of house she's looking for. This may change as i'm about to complete my undergraduate degree and hope to secure a professional career. However, i explained to her that there is no guarantee that i'll be able land a high earning job. This made her feel very insecure about our future together. She has told me that there's no reason why someone can't do well if their focused and driven. In other words, she would like me to be more ambitious.

I don’t know if im just a hopeless romantic but all i need is for her to be with me. She has apologised for being so hard to please and will try to overcome this. But i really don’t want someone to feel like their making a sacrifice to be with me. I'm worried that this issue will resurface in the future.

Am i over analysing? I’m starting to wonder if she truly loves me. What should i do guys?
23-05-11, 10:34 PM
VincenzoG91

I don't think it's going to work out, because you sound two seem to have incompatible goals. She wants nice stuff but doesn't want to work for it, so she needs you to work hard and climb the career ladder quickly. You sound more realistic about your short-term prospects for your career, and reading between the lines, not especially materialistic. It doesn't mean that either of you are bad people, just that this will be a constant source of friction unless one of you is able to change the other.
23-05-11, 10:52 PM
Mathias

Quote:

Originally Posted by onelove [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi,

I’m currently in serious relationship with a girl that does not live with me. She is such a wonderful person and i truly love her. Recently we have been discussing getting married, moving in together and starting a family. It appears that she is quite particular about the type of accommodation we live in (e.g up market). She is currently working but doesn't want to when we're together because she's looking to focus on raising a family. The problem is my present income isn’t sufficient enough to get the type of house she's looking for. This may change as i'm about to complete my undergraduate degree and hope to secure a professional career. However, i explained to her that there is no guarantee that i'll be able land a high earning job. This made her feel very insecure about our future together. She has told me that there's no reason why someone can't do well if their focused and driven. In other words, she would like me to be more ambitious.

I don’t know if im just a hopeless romantic but all i need is for her to be with me. She has apologised for being so hard to please and will try to overcome this. But i really don’t want someone to feel like their making a sacrifice to be with me. I'm worried that this issue will resurface in the future.

Am i over analysing? I’m starting to wonder if she truly loves me. What should i do guys?

Run, and never look back.

She wants an easy life, and is looking for some sucker to give it to her. Don't be that guy.
23-05-11, 11:07 PM
JadenMia

I always question where the morals of these kind of women are at..

Who does she think she is? Royalty? Ha, i would kick her ass onto the streets and make her pay her own way like everybody else has to.

Tell her, you would love to be able to give her that but you simply cannot. See where the relationship stands then.
23-05-11, 11:10 PM
Boisdevie

She wants you to pay for her lifestyle choices. I would tell her to get lost
23-05-11, 11:11 PM
Mathias

Quote:

Originally Posted by JadenMia [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Tell her, you would love to be able to give her that but you simply cannot. See where the relationship stands then.

This is probably the right answer, but I'd go off on her. Too many people (not just women) that think they're entitled to something.
23-05-11, 11:17 PM
Nicholas_V

I agree with all earlier comments. If she is setting you "targets" now that you're still dating, what is she gonna be doing when you get more serious? Whip you to work harder?

And by the way - wrong choice of title. Should be "love conquers all but low income" - that's how she is coming through.
23-05-11, 11:28 PM
surfhb

You don't choose your current living lifesytle based on potential future income.

Btw.... Have you noticed the job market lately and that degrees don't mean squat anymore?
23-05-11, 11:36 PM
Mathias

Quote:

Originally Posted by surfhb [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

degrees don't mean squat anymore?

Yes, they do. Just because the job market's tight doesn't mean employers aren't looking for them. They just have higher standards, because they can.
24-05-11, 12:09 AM
JadenMia

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mathias [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

This is probably the right answer, but I'd go off on her. Too many people (not just women) that think they're entitled to something.

I agree with you. I would also tell her to hit the road or take her head our of her ass, but judging by his post he probably wont do that. lol
I dont see why people think that when they are in a relationship that they are entitled to every bit of their partners income and belongings. Maybe in a marriage.. But just to state that they are going to live off their partners future income.. I find that kind of scary.. and not to mention lazy.
24-05-11, 01:04 AM
HeartIsAching

NEVER NEVER NEVER start a serious relationship with someone that wants you to change to suit them. I can't stress this enough. It looks like a minnow right now, you'll find later in the relationship that it was a baby shark.

Run. A partner that wants you to change to suit them isn't looking for what you are, but for what they think they can MAKE you be. You'll bet unhappy and resentful before long, and so will she, as you will NEVER be what she wants exactly.
24-05-11, 06:13 AM
bulrush

IMO you two are not compatible. She places a higher priority on material things (the house) than the relationship. Trust me, I was married to someone like this. It ended in divorce.
She could also be using material goods to fill serious voids in her personality. Think about that.
24-05-11, 07:02 AM
onelove

'Run' lol! Yes, i also sense danger.

Many thanks to all for posting on this link! Looks like everyone is unanimous in identifying that there is a serious issue here. One thing i failed to mention about her is that she does plan to re-enter the workforce later on in life. But i know this doesn't address the incompatibility regarding material desires. Feel so lost at the moment as she wants to try to work things out. I got it bad for this girl and i'm worried that i won't be able to get over her. LOVE SUCKS!
24-05-11, 07:09 AM
DarkHelmet82

everyone is telling you to run.. my advice to you is.. listen to your heart and your gut... it wont lie to you
24-05-11, 07:45 AM
JadenMia

Quote:

Originally Posted by DarkHelmet82 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

everyone is telling you to run.. my advice to you is.. listen to your heart and your gut... it wont lie to you

Your heart definitely lies and blinds you at times. That is a very untrue statement to make.