Sharing a bed

God help me, I find him so gorgeous. I know it's obvious to him. I embrace my sensuality. He's hurt me. He moved downstairs and he's had other woman over, yet I still want to share a bed with him tonight. Just to feel him, to make love, to not hurt for that brief time. He's on the phone with his exwife. She's amazing. I've slept with her too. In a sensual sharing kind of way. I'm moving back to California. I'm moving away but it hurts tonight. I want to be loved. I want his love and I'll never have it. I've known him for 30 years. I've been his lady for only 1 and it's been an absolute devastating blow to my heart. Am I unlovable? Am I too into making love or being intimate? My heart is gold. Honor and integrity are the blood in my veins. Where is my knight?

Once you create distance with him, the longing will lessen and you will then be more open to finding a new loving partner and connection. I am sure you are not unlovable, you are just hung up on one particular man who may not be your forever one, but just a person to feel close too at times.

Indeed, lovebroken, the distance will help. I thought I could share a house with him as roomies, boy was I off. He could just fine but it's treacherous on my heart and I know it's just lengething my healing process. Thank you commenting.

well plain and simple - you live in fantasy. want the fantasy.
there is nothign wrong with that until you start asking for "real results" from a fantasy.

fantasy and reality don't mix.

you'll have to choose... sorry.