I transfered high school between my sophomore and junior years. Halfway through junior year I was walking down the hallway when I overheard a guy making a witty comment. It caught my attention. The next day I realized that he was in the choir with me. (There were only 15 people in the choir and he was one of two bass singers.) A few months later Seth started talking to me during a recital, and at prom we talked. He was about to graduate and didn't know what he wanted to do, so he asked for my e-mail address and suggested that we get to know each other. (When we walked back into the room, the song I had requested came on, and the guy who never danced at prom before or since danced with me.) We sent a few e-mails back and forth over the summer.
The fall of my senior year one of my teachers was talking a class with him at a local college. He told Seth that I had asked about him, and Seth sent me his phone number. One of us would call the other and we'd talk for three hours every week. He wanted to talk me to prom, but we got the dates mixed up, he thought he had a final, and I ended up going with my little brother. We started talking on AOL IM over the summer, and into my freshman year of college.
By second semester we were best friends. We could tell each other anything. We'd talk for three or so hours a day, about anything and everything. We talked a lot about relationships, and learned so much from each other about marriage and relationships. After three years I fell in love with him. We had both considered dating on and off, but at that point he was in NY and I was in VA. We also both liked other people. We decided to leave it as it was, but it wasn't working. At the end of last summer I told him I was in love with him. He said he wasn't in love with me. I went back to NY for an MRI recently and we hung out and talked for four hours.
I'm not sure what I should do. Our relationship (despite all the ways we have messed it up) had grown so naturally. There is a spark between us that others notice. He fits into me, my life, and my dreams perfectly. We know each other better than anyone else does. We can guess what the other person is going to say before they say it. When we word something wrong, we know what they meant and take it as such. We just think alike. We've tried to stop talking (I've always suggested that.) but it never works. We miss talking to each other too much. Our values and goals are the same.
Should I give up on him, and accept that he will never love me, or should I wait and see if things change? Evey time I want to give up, the song we danced to comes on, or "listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye" plays. I don't want to start another relationship. He is what I was waiting for, and I'm not sure how to get over him. We make each other better, happy. I can come up with something spontaneous like asking him "A, B, or C?" (A was accept that he doesn't love me, B was believe that he will, and C was continue waiting.) He chose B. I wasn't surprised, he picks the one that leans toward us being together. But am I a fool to wait for a man who may never love me? I'm 20 years old, he's 21.
What do you think?
