Just letting something off my chest...I hope you guys don't mind
Well, I'm just ranting here...trying to unload a lot of pain inside me.
I just blew it but then maybe it's a blessing in disguise. Time will tell if we are really meant for each other.
Tsk, tsk, tsk...I just NEVER learn, do I?...what these guys don't realise about me is that when I start to feel secure in a relationship, I tend to be less dramatic and emotional. It's the insecurities in a developing relationship that's driving me nuts. Anyway, what's new???
This has been the most difficult time of my life. I am hurting because I made a big blunder in my new relationship. But I guess sooner or later, we will have bigger issues like this but it just so happen that we had it on so early.
If he indeed has genuine intentions and a love growing for me, he will give me a second chance and will get back together.
And why is love always seem to elude me? Why do some people get it so easy with less effort? What would it take me to find it?
I'm afraid that this experience will turn me into a hard woman, not capable of giving love, trust and care anymore.
I wish I can undo what has been done, but I cant! Why are there people out there who are so cruel?
JAMES, if there is a little bit of sympathy and caring bone in your body, why couldn't you make an effort to contact me and find out how I am? After all the trouble I did for you, you couldn't give me one minute of your time just when I needed it most. YOU ARE VERY SELFISH! Even though I was the one who eventually broke it off, I could feel that you really wanted out because you could not be bothered with my pleas and cries for your little support and understanding. I still couldn't come to terms with your sudden change, with your uncaring, selfish side. Is it because you got from me what you wanted?
One day you will cry too and will come crawling back to me. I know it happens, I've seen it many times before. You will feel the same pain that you caused me and hey, it's your loss, not mine...you've just let go of the most beautiful, loving, and caring individual you have ever met and probably the only one you will have in your entire life.
GOD! Please I am tired of crying, I am tired of being heart broken, I am tired of being let down by people who I loved, trusted, and cared for. When is this all ever going to come to an end? Would there be a let up from this horrible experience that I keep going through? Why am I always given a test like this? Why do I always get the short end of the stick? I don't know how much more of this I could take.
And no, I will not use MARK to ease my pain up. I will go through this alone, suffer the hurt and pain and when I'm over this and I start to feel happy again, at least I will not be feeling any guilt because I've used him and now he is hurt and miserable. He must not know what I'm going through right now.
Well, such is life with someone like me... :-(
