Hey everyone,
I'd just like to get some opinions on something. I guess Ill start at the beginning - I went to college a few years ago, and I met a girl there. Now, Im a VERY shy person, I find it hard to talk to anyone, so imagine me having to talk to someone I really like. I always liked her, pretty much from the first day, but I never had the courage to really talk to her and definately not enough to ask her out. After 3 months of turmoil, I finally plucked up the courage and I asked her if she wanted to do something. She gave me her number and everything and we made plans to go to the movies on the saturday. About 2 hours before we were due to meet she sent me a text saying that she had to cancel cos she had to go shopping with her mum for some reason.
The next week we were back at college and although I saw her we didn't speak, maybe I would have but I had enough trouble talking to her on her own and we were in a class full of people. My plan was to go out, just the 2 of us, and then it would've been easier to talk and whatever (did I mention that she was shy herself, not as much as me but still). Anyway, about a week later I asked her out again, I asked if she wanted to do something the next day, but she said she was busy. After that I ended up leaving it, I don't know why, even to this day I don't know why I dropped it after just 2 tries when she was busy. After that we spoke a tiny bit at college a few times but me asking her out was never mentioned.
At the end of the first year of college she quit, decided she didn't wanna do the course anymore and quit. I never saw her again after that but there are regrets. I wish I'd have tried harder, made myself speak to her more, etc, and shes always in the back of my head - she was the first girl I ever asked out, the first girl I really liked enough to ask out.
Now, over the past few years things have been going bad for me and my family and I kinda made a new years resolution (a load of crap I know) to forget about everything that happened in the past so that I can just look forward and start new. I see this thing with her as something I need to forget and move on from, but I don't see me being able to do that without resolving the issues I have and getting rid of any regrets. My main regret being that I left it and that she never found out how I felt. I wish that I could have one chance to explain everything. I don't know if she'd care but if so then at least I'd know that I tried and that I told her.
My question to you all is: if there was a chance to get her address (it would be without her knowledge) should I take that chance to send her a letter saying what I feel like I need to say in order to resolve everything. I moved away from my hometown (where we went to college and where, as far as I know, she still lives) and I havent been back for a year and a half so its like a 1 in a million that I'd ever see her again. Finding out her address and sending her a letter is the only way I could ever tell her everything.
What do you all think I should do? Should I find her address and send her the letter? Or should I just leave it, just keep it inside until it eventually goes away (if it ever does)?
Thanks ...
P.S. I think I should also mention that although I do still like her, as I've always done, if I did end up sending her the letter I wouldn't be expecting anything. I don't expect her to feel the same way or anything, and if she doesnt, thats fine, I'm not looking for a beautiful relationship to come out of it or anything. The reason for me doing it would be just to resolve old issues, not to find out if she ever had feelings for me or if she'd go out with me now, just to resolve my issues and try to get rid of the regrets I have. Thanks again.
