Coping with missing my lover
I am desperately in love (I choose my words carefully) with a 25 year old Romanian woman. She chatted me up in a bar and then asked if I would pay to have sex with her. She was pretty and fun to be with. As she made it like a challenge, so I agreed. I had never done this kind of thing before. We saw each other most days after that but not always to have sex. She told me what I kind of expected about her life (2 children in Romania, little money) but that she wanted to stop having sex for money. I thought this would be good for her so I then paid her not to have sex. She said she loved me. I believed her. And so was then asked to pay for everything (her phone, presents, rent etc). A few days later she decided to return to Romania because she wanted to divorce her husband and see her family. She said it would take three weeks. So I bought her plane ticket. We stayed in touch of course regularly by phone and I continued to send her money, as there were always things she needed (lawyers’ fees for the divorce, repairs to her mother’s house, children’s clothing, repairs to her house, driving lessons, air conditioning due to the heat wave, medical fees etc). She didn’t come back on the return plane ticket as she needed more time to sort things out. So I went to see her in Romania. I could only see her at my hotel as her mother shouldn’t know about me as she had had much trouble with previous men her mother wants her to concentrate on looking after her children and she didn’t want her future ex-husband to know about me as it could trouble for her. This all sounds quite improbable when writing it down, but I believe what she says to be true. I know this because I hired a local detective to see what he could find out. Some things she said were not true but understandable to protect her self (where she lived for example). She was very surprised that I had managed to find out her address on the internet (her husband had some tax problems and I found a court summons with his address on the web).
So in less than 2 months I’ve given her about £10,000 in cash and presents. I can never say no – and why should I if she loves me as she assures me that she does. I’m not that rich, so have indebted myself and sold house contents to be able to meet her needs. I believe that this is worthwhile as she (not giving her things) makes me feel so good and I would like to have a proper relationship with her when she comes back to Paris. But she can only return here when she has finished what she needs to do there and can only do that if I keep supporting her. If I don’t she will have to return to prostitution. If she does that then I will have failed her. I don’t want to do that. I have never felt so in love with someone. I don’t feel manipulated but am unhappy that I miss her so much. Will I just have to wait and see ?
