My Guy is SOoo Pissed @ me
Where to begin? I have a friend of 18 years. We have been on and off dating for most of that time, and friends in between. In Oct. we started talking again, dating, spent the holidays and his b'day together, talked twice a day, made plans. (mostly him asking me) He always reaches a breaking point and leaves because I am not as affectionate or demonstrative as him. This time we were just going day to day. He says we are what we are, and he may never be able to accept my less emotional self. He loves me, but needs a partner who is into him 150% The past few times he left me right after the holidays. He would just stop calling, or be short on the phone.
We went away for his b'day. Had a blast. When we got back I felt as if he backed off. Sensing his pattern from before I was prepared for him to fade out. We live far away (1 hour) and are both extremely busy. The weekend after we got back, he had an event in the area. I thought he would come to my house after. He said he'd call when he was done. He called on his way over to my neighborhood. He was stopping to bring his aunt groceries, asked me to come with. I asked him if he'd just hang out when he was done with his aunt. There was a game on that he wanted to get home to watch. I said he could watch it @ my house. He said he'd call when he was done. I was on the phone and my line was busy, so he left a message on my cell. I was not near my cell, so never got the message til 11:30 he was already home. I called his cell and it was off. I thought he was just coming over after his aunt, and was waiting up. I just thought he was not wanting to come over.
The next day he called,(jan 4) said he watched the game and went to bed. I went to his house for dinner with his parents. ( i couldn't stay, had work the next day and a puppy at home. Sat put that old fear into me and my thoughts got the better of me.
The next weekend he had plans, they got cancelled, but he never called to ask me to do anything. The week went by with phonecalls but he was always going to bed, or busy. The next weekend we both had 4 days off. There was a few unreturned calls. We didn't talk Monday @ all, I called him and sent a text.
Here's where it all went down. I texted his close friend (female) to ask if we could talk. Said I was an emotional basket case after letting him back into my life. She said she was uncomfortable, but would it be ok if she told him we were talking. I said fine, and that I would try him again to talk to him directly. I called him and woke him up. I asked if he wanted me to stop calling to just tell me, I haven't seen you in a month, is this over?
He was dumfounded! he started going through dates times, I said I felt distance when he didn't come over on Sat. He calmly began describing his weeks, work, family stuff, craziness, fatigue, falling asleep. I told him I freaked out and texted his friend. He said he called and left a message Sat. what more could he do.
When he realized that we spent the day after the Sat. game/aunt incident he went CRAZY ! F-bombs, why did I let him go on justifying Sat. when we spent Sunday together, it wasn't him it was me. It was 16 days, not a month ! I never heard him so angry.
Hearing him made me understand that I was being crazy, after all he had tried calling we just misconnected. And if I wanted to see him why didn't I say something instead of stewing. It was the un-returned calls over the week that made me a mess.
I read him the text I sent his friend. He said he needed to get off the phone, process and try to talk to his friend and apologize for my actions.
He said he'd get back to me with an update.
I know the relationship part is over, how do I apologize to him as we have a long friendship. I just felt what I felt, and 3 times in the past he left me after to holidays. I guess I was just waiting for it to happen, and reading into things this time. I feel awful, sick inside that my insecurities made me question him. How badly did I f**k up? What do I do ?
