I need help understanding my girlfriend.
My girlfriend and I have been going out four a little over six months; we have made some major breakthroughs and I feel like we are stronger than ever, but I am still having issues trusting her. I am a little old fashion, liking to believe that I can have life-long monogamous relationship. She recently got a full scholarship to attend a 2 year master’s program 400 miles away. I promised that I would do everything possible to be patient and faithful for her and we will attempt to see each other once every month or so, which made her purr like a kitten.
The problem is, she comes from a much more liberal background. She feels like a lifelong monogamous relationship is not likely because her father was a cheat and her mother eventually pulled out of the relationship.
She is hypersexual, which is good for me, but I worry how she’ll behave when the distance takes effect, though I know how upset she becomes when she hears of other people cheating.
But on the flip, she constantly jokes about other guys. Two months into the relationship she joked about how the guy before me had a horse-sized dick. Or that if a certain male celebrity was at a party, I would not be invited. At a Mexican spa, where I dropped her off, she joked that the gate attendant could be her boyfriend. She knows that I get jealous, which I have made MAJOR efforts to curb, but I don’t understand why she is always pushing my buttons. Part of me thinks she’s testing me, but part of me thinks she really is interested in hooking up with other guys. Tonight, I mentioned that I would be willing to drive spontaneously to see her at school, and she joked that she would need more notice just in case she was hooking up with her professor. Then she asked, “Did that bother you when I said that? (I haven’t yet really responded)” I also see her checking out other guys, which is natural, but it still gets under my skin.
She mentioned getting a new phone, and I suggested adding a line to my plan, which would be cheaper, but she retorted that she wouldn’t want me to have access to her texts or calls. I feel like there is a double standard, because she demands so much of me, asking who I’m hanging out with, or if I’ve met other girls, etc.
I don’t want to paint her in a negative light, and I’m trying to write neutrally. I always come home to her and I have no reason to think she has actually cheated on me. She is emphatic that we are in a closed relationship, but why does she keep pushing my buttons? I know trust takes time to an extent.
