planning to send closure email to ex gf would like some input
Just wanted to drop you a quick note. First I want you to know that I feel really ashamed for ever sending that email to you. I don't want those words to be the last thing I communicated with you. Regardless of my accusations, your business is your business....in the end, I just have to deal with it. I'm not real proud of my behavior the past month. To love unconditionally means that regardless of us, I want you happy no matter who you're with? At the end of the day, I just miss you! I don't need you...I've just always wanted you, and for the right reasons. Talk about a bitter pill to swallow, I knew we were having some communication issues, but I never believed for a minute it was nothing we couldn't work to resolve. I guess in the end, neither of us had the courage to talk things out in a mature manner? I hope you find happiness and know that beyond the harsh stuff I said in that email, everything else was true. Never have I wanted to be with someone like I did with you. I just wanted more of you! I'm not a clingy or needy type of guy, I just know that when things were good, they were real good, "No fluff". Perhaps all relationships early on are nothing but "fluff"....it isn't until the masks come off that we're actually faced with a real relationship, based on honest and open communication, trust and commitment? Who knows? All I know is when I was with you, whether it was at dinner, up north, in bed, wherever, I never had any doubts about us, and believed that given the painful relationships of our past, trust was something I never worried about with me and you....I was up north this past weekend with Trey, Anne and the kids...putting the boat in storage and doing some fall cleanup...all that fun stuff....later at night, around the fire, Anne actually told me you two spoke over the 4th about us having a wedding ceremony in their backyard with a threshold over the pool. She shared quite a bit with me, as she's really been in the dark about us, up until the last weekend...I also know that the week of Allison's b-day, you and I stopped at Trey's, then walked down to say hello to my folks....I overheard you ask my mom if she had announced the newest member of the "O'brien" family at a recent reunion, you! Not that long ago.......and yes, on our way back from Kid Rock, among other things discussed later that evening, we talked about whether Jessica or Kathy should be your maid of honor? We also talked about how fortunate we were to have two sets of loving parents so close by that would not only be good for us regarding a family some day but would also provide us with some nice balance in life. I trust on some level you can understand why I feel the way I do? Regardless of what's transpired with us, I will always love you...unconditionally. Your past didn't matter to me...never cared! I just knew that what we had early on, for over a year and a half, was pretty f**king awesome! I'm just disappointed that we couldn't have a talked more openly. In the end, that's a lesson I'll regrettably take with me for a long time....
Please take good care of yourself, in the end, you're all that matters! Always know that I will look back on how we re-met at Doug's Art Party, and smile.....it was all worth it! I do believe in fate, and I know at one time you did too....your a treasure and I hope you're always treated as such! I've learned a lot about myself throughout this, and one thing I know is I'm way far from perfect! I know I've said hurtful things and have behaved stupidly, but in the end, I'm not dumb and I learn....I guess that's what separates humans from apes?
Take and be well !!
