planning to send closure email to ex gf would like some input

[buldozed]

Just wanted to drop you a quick note. First I want you to know that I feel really ashamed for ever sending that email to you. I don't want those words to be the last thing I communicated with you. Regardless of my accusations, your business is your business....in the end, I just have to deal with it. I'm not real proud of my behavior the past month. To love unconditionally means that regardless of us, I want you happy no matter who you're with? At the end of the day, I just miss you! I don't need you...I've just always wanted you, and for the right reasons. Talk about a bitter pill to swallow, I knew we were having some communication issues, but I never believed for a minute it was nothing we couldn't work to resolve. I guess in the end, neither of us had the courage to talk things out in a mature manner? I hope you find happiness and know that beyond the harsh stuff I said in that email, everything else was true. Never have I wanted to be with someone like I did with you. I just wanted more of you! I'm not a clingy or needy type of guy, I just know that when things were good, they were real good, "No fluff". Perhaps all relationships early on are nothing but "fluff"....it isn't until the masks come off that we're actually faced with a real relationship, based on honest and open communication, trust and commitment? Who knows? All I know is when I was with you, whether it was at dinner, up north, in bed, wherever, I never had any doubts about us, and believed that given the painful relationships of our past, trust was something I never worried about with me and you....I was up north this past weekend with Trey, Anne and the kids...putting the boat in storage and doing some fall cleanup...all that fun stuff....later at night, around the fire, Anne actually told me you two spoke over the 4th about us having a wedding ceremony in their backyard with a threshold over the pool. She shared quite a bit with me, as she's really been in the dark about us, up until the last weekend...I also know that the week of Allison's b-day, you and I stopped at Trey's, then walked down to say hello to my folks....I overheard you ask my mom if she had announced the newest member of the "O'brien" family at a recent reunion, you! Not that long ago.......and yes, on our way back from Kid Rock, among other things discussed later that evening, we talked about whether Jessica or Kathy should be your maid of honor? We also talked about how fortunate we were to have two sets of loving parents so close by that would not only be good for us regarding a family some day but would also provide us with some nice balance in life. I trust on some level you can understand why I feel the way I do? Regardless of what's transpired with us, I will always love you...unconditionally. Your past didn't matter to me...never cared! I just knew that what we had early on, for over a year and a half, was pretty f**king awesome! I'm just disappointed that we couldn't have a talked more openly. In the end, that's a lesson I'll regrettably take with me for a long time....

Please take good care of yourself, in the end, you're all that matters! Always know that I will look back on how we re-met at Doug's Art Party, and smile.....it was all worth it! I do believe in fate, and I know at one time you did too....your a treasure and I hope you're always treated as such! I've learned a lot about myself throughout this, and one thing I know is I'm way far from perfect! I know I've said hurtful things and have behaved stupidly, but in the end, I'm not dumb and I learn....I guess that's what separates humans from apes?


Take and be well !!

[Primo]

buldozed, when is the last time you had any type of communication with her?

[misombra]

i didn't read the whole thing but i will tell you, if she is your ex then it is over. that email is way too long. if you're trying to apologize for something then do it. make it much much shorter. girls don't like all those long winded, emotional emails.

[Gigabitch]

Okay, first of all, a "closure" email simply says goodbye. It doesn't have any question marks in it. It doesn't try to reopen negotiations. I think your letter might need some revision.

Also, not to be harsh, but are you expecting that she might keep this letter and read it over again as the years go by, thinking back nostalgically about what she lost? If so, you might want to spell check it.

[buldozed]

last conversation about 2-3 wks ago....aside from the scathing email where I accused her of sleeping with her best friends ex-husband....which she's doing....she's 41, wants a kid, and this guy can barely support the child he has..she's lost her friend, who wants nothing to do with her....and she's now in a relationship with a loser, whose wife left him for a reason....every dude in her history has been bad news....she's just drawn to it....I agree, I don't want to get nostalgic with her....just apologize for the rudeness of my last note, though true....and wish her well. she'll wake up one day and realize what she's done.

[lovesjoyajm]

I have the same question as Giga. If you're not sending this email to get back with her, then there are a lot of things you simply need to take out. Sure, you want to tell her everything, but it's too late.

And stop telling her how awesome she is and how much she deserves. She cheated on you.

[Primo]

buldozer, everyone gave you good advice. I copied the first portion of your email, this is what you should send, or something similar. The rest is like Giga said, you're simply trying to win her back and you're rambling. She already knows everything you're trying to pound into her head.

Just wanted to drop you a quick note. First I want you to know that I feel really ashamed for ever sending that email to you. I don't want those words to be the last thing I communicated with you. Regardless of my accusations, your business is your business....in the end, I just have to deal with it. I'm not real proud of my behavior the past month. To love unconditionally means that regardless of us, I want you happy no matter who you're with

[buldozed]

Primo - thanks for your two cents. I appreciate it. this girl and I have been friends since high school...we re-acquainted two yrs ago, and started dating. her past is one big "how not to" date....married and divorced twice, most recently prior to me, dated her 1st love, a dope dealing, crack head who is literally circling the drain. This is the kind of drama I was subjected to....interventions, contstant suicidal text messages from this guy...all the while, she then tells me she wants us to take a break, so she can go get involved with one of her "former" good friends recently divorced ex-husband.....it's painful to think you've known somebody so long, only to find out, they really aren't worth your time....regardless, I like your recommendation....sorry for blathering on...

[buldozed]

Primo - is that all i should say, or wrap with the ending portion.....

[Primo]

Primo - thanks for your two cents. I appreciate it. this girl and I have been friends since high school...we re-acquainted two yrs ago, and started dating. her past is one big "how not to" date....married and divorced twice, most recently prior to me, dated her 1st love, a dope dealing, crack head who is literally circling the drain. This is the kind of drama I was subjected to....interventions, contstant suicidal text messages from this guy...all the while, she then tells me she wants us to take a break, so she can go get involved with one of her "former" good friends recently divorced ex-husband.....it's painful to think you've known somebody so long, only to find out, they really aren't worth your time....regardless, I like your recommendation....sorry for blathering on...

Don't beat yourself up over it too much. I think we've all wasted time on someone that didn't deserve us. Like I always say, we can't control who we fall in love with.

There's both good and bad in that :-)

[Primo]

Primo - is that all i should say, or wrap with the ending portion.....

To be honest, the part I quoted was nice, I think you just rambled after that because you're obviously hurting. In my opinion, the only thing you need to add to wrap it up with is "Take care of yourself, I love you, (your name).

[buldozed]

i know, at age 42....when you were just discussing wedding plans 2 mths ago with this woman....makes it a tough pill to swallow....just tired of the bs and games....

[buldozed]

Duly noted...I'll send you a private message of how I re-wrote the ending....thanks to all for the support!

[buldozed]

testing 123

[Gigabitch]

Why would you send a private message? Is it a secret?