I did do the right thing by asking ( i feel somthings wrong)
hi everyone,
recently with in the last week or so ive noticed my g/f was not herself. There have been some stressfull things happan at her work, new position, tons of overtime, etc. on top of having a soon to be 6 year old daughter, home chores and then me.
I noticed she was really tired alot, kinda burned out. she stated to me next week (period week was gonna be worst its been in along while) im fine with all that stuff. With that being said i noticed she seemed to pull back from nearly everything we did or said, it started to bother me i was going to bed by myself which has been not the norm in the last 3 months.
Last night she seemed in a happier more talkative mood but towards the end of the night i found myself feeling along while we all watched tv, her, daugher and myself. after 2 hours of no talking ect i said im going to bed, got up gave her a kiss and said id like if you would come to bed tonight. norm shes been passing out with her daugher on the sofa or in her room...which has not been whats been normal for the last 3 months either.
about 5 mins later i got outta bed and went out to her wispered in her ear, when you do come to bed can i please talk with you for 5 mins...she seemed suprized like she did somthing.
I flat out asked in bed last night, babe i feel somthing not right, is everything ok with you. i cant figure out what it is but somthing off. i then asked if it was me. she said yes but in directly. i stay over everynight, been for the last 3 months. she said somthing to the point of she was use to it only being her daugher and her. I flat out asked do you want me gone. she said no. I asked alot more then, nor preshuring her but asked do you want me to remove my things from here, said no no you dont have to but its up to me. I said i would prefere to keep them here if i could and she said thats fine. she kinda feels shes not getting alot of time to spend with her daugher (and yes its true)...altho working prob a good 50-60 hours a week (7 days) is not gonna give you that i had said. eailer at the beining of this month she said its gonna be a stressfull month and i prob wouldnt get alot of time to do things with her on weekends. i had no problem withthat because i see her everyday, i thought im lucky nuff to be able to do that and i value it alot. so i was prepared it was gonna be a bad month if you wanna say.
she said how about every other day, id sleep over. 1st i was not the one who decided id stay everynight. she had wanted me over, told me i should just come ever everynight for dinner etc. I was a little set back by this, i didnt sleep much and ended up calling off word today, already work 48 hours a week as it is in 5 days. i needed a break. Shes not one to talk too much about feelings, that i knew right away. I can normaly tell her feelings by her actions. She has no problems with me being her bf, likes my company, values me helping her child with homeword everynight. She said she didnt know if she was ready to basicly have me there full time pretty much, even thought ive been for 3 months. I know there are alot of factors...her working a good 20 hours more a week then 2 months ago, late hours, house work, no time for daugher etc.
Did i do the right thing by expressing a concern and wanting to know what was going on? She said she would of eventualy told me but i dont know when that could of been, maybe a week or 2 after the pressure got to her? Im not one to free load around her place, i cook, put dishes away, that kinda stuff make the bed when i can.
I told her i really like her and i do care about her weather she knows that or could figure it out by my actions. I know its always easy to take leaps forward and harder to take a step backwards. I dont feel her every other day thing is alot to ask for, i will miss the interaction with her and her child the days i do not see them. I have grown attched, not obsessed, just form an emotional attachment towards her package deal.
this morning when i left, she hug kissed, all the normal stuff. i know she senced i was a put down alittle, i think anyone would be. I said just let me know when you want me over. tonight she will be spending time alone and prob go back into work to finish up some things before next week. I would just like some advice if i did the right thing by owning up to my feelings and asking.
Also is there anything anyone things i could posibly do to help the situation? a few months ago she said she keeping me around and my time to run was past. I think that ment she and her daugher had formed some type of attchment with me and i was a good person, everyone told her to keep me. Maybe i am over reacting? i havent had the best of luck this year and she found me and we instantly hit it off good. I would just like to keep her in my life. I told her i know her daughers always gonna be number one and id be number 2, im fine with that. I am not selfish to think i need all the me time because when im over there we are not always together. There are days i need to come home work on stuff and id be over later. or i play with her kid while she was doing laundry or cleaning.
Eitherway i have grown very fond of her, i wont say i am in love but i am realizing i have strong feelings for her and believe i prob am starting to fall for her.
any advice would be nice, unless anyone feels ive already done the right thing to let her have some time alone and still have me. maybe this has happened with other single moms if so let me know. Im a very eary go with the fly type of person, shes 28 and im 27, she only 6 months older then me so i feel we are on the same page about a loft of things.
thanks.
