She has a boyfriend, and I was about to ask her out :(

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25-07-11, 01:20 AM
jojoloko

She has a boyfriend, and I was about to ask her out :(

:( hi, Im new her.

I met this girl couple of months ago and I liked her the first moment I met her, there was something special about her and I think am "in love" I know for sure she likes me.. I found out recently, and when I was just about to ask her out that she had a boyfriend. I know that the guy is moving away to another country very soon, I think in september and I know that will probably be the end of their relationship. She was downtown drinking last night and called me and wanted to meet me.
I did, and after that I got home and called her I told her I was going to ask her a question and I wanted to do that in person and she got really excited and we met today and when I met her and I was about to ask her I learned that she has a boyfriend but hes leaving in sept. SO what should I do? Should I tell her what I was going to ask or just leave it and try again later. I really wanna tell her that I wanted to ask her out to dinner.

I think she will probably text me soon and ask what I was going to ask her, should I tell it doesnt matter anymore or what? How should I handle this?:detective:detective
25-07-11, 01:35 AM
smackie9

Since she inst married so in reality she is free game. If she is calling you to come out for drinks, that would tell me she is looking for someone to help her with the transition. You should just keep your mouth shut for now about it and just keep meeting up with her, and let her get more antiquated with you. DO NOT tell her you have feelings for her, keep it a mystery, make it something for her to work for, be a challenge....this will increase desire. Only express your feelings when you two are officially in a relationship, or you will scare her away.
25-07-11, 01:39 AM
smackie9

Telling her you want to ask her something then pulling back is the push and pull method used in pick up. You already see good results with that....it makes her excited right? Keep teasing her, be mysterious, flirt, have fun with it. I hope things work out for you......keep us updated.
25-07-11, 04:29 AM
Wakeup

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojoloko [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

:( hi, Im new her.

I met this girl couple of months ago and I liked her the first moment I met her, there was something special about her and I think am "in love" I know for sure she likes me.. I found out recently, and when I was just about to ask her out that she had a boyfriend. I know that the guy is moving away to another country very soon, I think in september and I know that will probably be the end of their relationship. She was downtown drinking last night and called me and wanted to meet me.
I did, and after that I got home and called her I told her I was going to ask her a question and I wanted to do that in person and she got really excited and we met today and when I met her and I was about to ask her I learned that she has a boyfriend but hes leaving in sept. SO what should I do? Should I tell her what I was going to ask or just leave it and try again later. I really wanna tell her that I wanted to ask her out to dinner.

I think she will probably text me soon and ask what I was going to ask her, should I tell it doesnt matter anymore or what? How should I handle this?:detective:detective

Why don't you just tell her that you were going to ask her out to dinner but then you found out she has a boyfriend and you don't take women out who have a boyfriend already because you want someone who is free to love you and only you and not be confused between you and their boyfriend? At this point you don't know if they will be maintaining their relationship in a long distance dynamic until she can join him or, if she will be breaking up with him.

I'm not sure I agree that if their not married they are free game. In this day and age lots of people don't ever get married and either just live in their separate homes or live together without the license... so that way of thinking will often get you into a situation where you are the secret while she keeps her boyfriend or where you're wondering if someone else is trying to steal her from you should you become bf/gf.. Not a nice postition to be in.
25-07-11, 05:04 AM
jojoloko

Quote:

Originally Posted by smackie9 [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Telling her you want to ask her something then pulling back is the push and pull method used in pick up. You already see good results with that....it makes her excited right? Keep teasing her, be mysterious, flirt, have fun with it. I hope things work out for you......keep us updated.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wakeup [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Why don't you just tell her that you were going to ask her out to dinner but then you found out she has a boyfriend and you don't take women out who have a boyfriend already because you want someone who is free to love you and only you and not be confused between you and their boyfriend? At this point you don't know if they will be maintaining their relationship in a long distance dynamic until she can join him or, if she will be breaking up with him.

This is a little bit hard because I think very much about her, I really want her. And I don't go all the way because I know about this guy. I feel like she doesn't want to end the relationship with the other guy yet cuz then he will know that there is another guy mixed up in this (me). I believe that she is waiting for him to move, But I cant really know It's just a wild guess.

She hasn't asked about what I was going to say to her yet, I dont know if I should tell her?? Should I send her a text now to tell her that I was going to ask her out(or call) or should I just wait for a better time, just stop chasing this for a while and stop calling or texting and wait for her to get to me? I really want to chase, but I want some answers you know, What she is going to do when the guy leaves and If I could ask her out and it would mean something. :surprised:P
25-07-11, 08:49 AM
jojoloko

up --- :surprised:D what should I doooo :/
25-07-11, 08:58 AM
TheTooya

Wait a second, I think I've seen this one before...

You mean the conversation where you thinking you really like this girl, she picks up on it, and cassssually mentions that she has a boyfriend? That one? Oh man... that one is fun!

The advice you don't want to hear is do nothing. Shes currently taken. Focus on other things to fulfill your time, and you never know, you might find someone else, or she might become available again.

__
The way it worked for me, I was exactly where you were, my ex was in a relationship, I felt stupid because I actually wanted to ask her out. I kind of... dropped off away from her, feeling devistated for a bit. I started going on dates with other girls, and eventually my ex was single. I didn't really jump on the situation (By then I had moved on), she was single for about 2 months, and I went for it. (PS, don't scare her away by seeming too clingy)

Good luck

Also apple 
25-07-11, 09:28 AM
jojoloko

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheTooya [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Wait a second, I think I've seen this one before...

You mean the conversation where you thinking you really like this girl, she picks up on it, and cassssually mentions that she has a boyfriend? That one? Oh man... that one is fun!

The advice you don't want to hear is do nothing. Shes currently taken. Focus on other things to fulfill your time, and you never know, you might find someone else, or she might become available again.

__
The way it worked for me, I was exactly where you were, my ex was in a relationship, I felt stupid because I actually wanted to ask her out. I kind of... dropped off away from her, feeling devistated for a bit. I started going on dates with other girls, and eventually my ex was single. I didn't really jump on the situation (By then I had moved on), she was single for about 2 months, and I went for it. (PS, don't scare her away by seeming too clingy)

Good luck

Also apple 

You are absolutely right. I see it a bit clearer now, lol. But I don't know why I feel this way, maybe cuz this is the only girl I have tried to "chase" in long time. But tell me, what about when she contacts me? How should I deal with those situations. If I start doing nothing and she starts reaching to me or calls me or sends text messages. I haven't tried staying off for longer then maybe 2-3 days now the last month so I wouldnt know.

Also apple  ( I have an MacBook pro ) :D
25-07-11, 09:51 AM
HeartIsAching

I think Wakeup has it right. Tell her you were going to ask her out, but found out she had a BF. This will tell her that you're honorable, that you respect her relationship, and that you're interested. Where you go from there depends on how she responds. If she's receptive, tell her you'd like to wait until she doesn't have a BF.
25-07-11, 10:19 AM
jojoloko

Hi friend :)

I think telling other people about things and letting them tell me what they would do in the same situation helps a lot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeartIsAching [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think Wakeup has it right. Tell her you were going to ask her out, but found out she had a BF. This will tell her that you're honorable, that you respect her relationship, and that you're interested. Where you go from there depends on how she responds. If she's receptive, tell her you'd like to wait until she doesn't have a BF.

So I just want to ask you. How would I get her to respond? Should I stop contacting her and wait until she contacts me? Or should I call her telling this or should I text?

I think Im 100% sure that she knows that I am interested (not like a friend)

Should I just send her a text saying I was going to ask her out, but because she has a boyfriend I want to respect her relationship but Im interested?

What would you do?? LOL :)
25-07-11, 10:31 AM
smackie9

If she is excited about your question, and calls you to meet up for drinks, she isn't in that serious of a relationship.....she`s dippin her toes in to see what the water is like if you know what I mean. Just play along and see what happens next. Do whatever you feel is right. If you must come clean with her and let her know you are interested, but her having a BF is a problem then go for it.
25-07-11, 10:59 AM
HeartIsAching

Quote:

Originally Posted by jojoloko [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Hi friend :)

I think telling other people about things and letting them tell me what they would do in the same situation helps a lot.

So I just want to ask you. How would I get her to respond? Should I stop contacting her and wait until she contacts me? Or should I call her telling this or should I text?

I think Im 100% sure that she knows that I am interested (not like a friend)

Should I just send her a text saying I was going to ask her out, but because she has a boyfriend I want to respect her relationship but Im interested?

What would you do?? LOL :)

NO NO NO... Do NOT play stupid head-games. Be honest and straight with her.

Tell her that you were interested in asking her out, and then you found out that she has a BF. That's it. If she reacts positively, let her know you want to ask her out when she no longer has a BF. Then maintain contact, but don't push the relationship aspect. Just be fun, friendly, polite, and every now and then, let her know you're still interested in taking her out. When she's free of her BF, ask her out - don't delay.